Pokémon Fanficles: Kanto Blues - A Fanfiction by the Author

Cutscene

...huh? The heck is-

PROF. OAK appears out of nowhere.

OAK: Welcome to the world of POKéMON!

AAH! A GHOST!

Are you for real...?

OAK: My name is OAK. People call me the POKéMON PROF.

AAH! A PROF! Um... what's a "prof"...?

A little pastry ball, obviously.

Cool...

Don't stir him, Little Bro.

Ugh... fine...

"GRRAAWRR!"

Um... Grandpa, why does this Nidorino sound like a-

WOW! A POKéMON!

DUDE, keep your voice down!

Heheh... sorry...

OAK: WHAT?! SPEAK UP A BIT AND TELL ME YOUR NAME, MY BOY!

Oh... uh... I-I'm-

OAK: WHAT?!

My name is-

OAK: WHAT?!

I'm-

AZUL, GRAMPS!

OAK: Ah, nice to meet you, AZUL GRAMPS! I'll call you "AZUL" for short, because of the seven-letter name limit.

Grandpa, are you breaking the fourth wall again? Heehee!

OAK: Well, you KNOW what I'm like, ROUGE. Haha!

Everyone, stop shouting!

OAK: Now, now, young man, there's no need to shout, hm? HM?

*SIGH*... Yes, GRAMPS...

OAK: There's a good lad... um... what was your name, again?

What...? GRAMPS, it's me! Your grandson-

AZUL: -POOPERPOTION!

"POOPERPOTION" flips out in a confused rage.

OAK: That's right, I remember now! Your name is POOPERPOTION! But... I'm gonna call you "GARETH" for short.

GARETH: I SWEAR, I'm gonna get my REVENGE on you, AZUL...

ROUGE: Now who's shouting, Little Bro?

GARETH: Augh... ROUGE...

ROUGE: Heehee!

Oak: -enture with POKéMON awaits! LET'S GO!

AZUL: WAAH! IT'S TOO BRIGHT!

ROUGE: GRANDPA, NO! THAT'S THE HIGH BEAM SWITCH!

"GRRAAWRR!"

GARETH: EVERYONE, STOP SHOUTING!

To be Continued...

Scene 1: PALLET TOWN

AZUL is playing a game in his bedroom.

AZUL's thoughts: Wow... that dream I had last night was-

MOM's voice: AZUL, sweetie? Where are you?

AZUL: I'm playing the SNES!

MOM's voice: Okay... it's time to go!

AZUL: Go where...? Is BIG BROTHER evicting me?!

MOM's voice: Don't be silly! Your brother's on his own POKéMON JOURNEY!

AZUL: Oh yeah... heheh...

MOM's voice: You said you were meeting the neighbours' kids at PROF. OAK's LABORATORY, remember?

AZUL: Uh...

MOM's voice: Honestly, AZUL... best you head downstairs if you want your present!

AZUL: Ooh, I love presents!

***
AZUL heads downstairs and is immediately distracted by the TV.

AZUL's thoughts: Four boys... are walking along railroad tracks...?

AZUL chuckles.

AZUL's thoughts: Silly me! It's a girl with pigtails walking along a brick road...

MOM's voice: Sweetie?

AZUL's thoughts: Ooh, and she's travelling with a MR. RIME holding an EVIOLITE, a BISHARP with the PRESSURE ability, a shiny ARCANINE with a TIMID nature, and a RIOLU toting a MEGA STONE for when it evolves via friendship!

MOM's voice: Sweetie...

AZUL's thoughts: Of course, this film is a work of fiction, since none of those things exists, at least according to "Genwunner Effect" theorists...

MOM's voice: AZUL!

AZUL is startled as he looks at MOM.

AZUL: Oh, MOM! You startled me more than a WHISMUR...

MOM: Oh, you and your imagination... "WHISPER"... heehee!

AZUL: How long have you been there?

MOM: Since the scene transitioned downstairs, silly.

AZUL: Oh... heheh...

MOM: Right, all boys leave home someday. It said so on TV.

AZUL: Yes, but I'm only eleven years old.

MOM: Actually, you’re 34.

AZUL: They aged me up?!

MOM: And even if you were eleven, you’d be a legal adult by KANTOnian law, so now’s the perfect time to go on your very own POKéMON JOURNEYS: THE SERIES.

AZUL: Uh... what was with the "-S: THE SERIES" bit?

MOM: Just a fan-promoted plug disguised as a pun by THE AUTHOR. No need to overthink it, sweetie. This is a KANTO game, after all!

AZUL: Oh, alright...

MOM: Now, here's your present: a JOURNAL!

AZUL: Um... thanks?

MOM: I want you to record everything that happens on your JOURNEY, sparing no detail.

AZUL: Even the GLITCHes?

MOM: Especially the GLITCHes. Before you even reach CINNABAR ISLAND, make sure to arrange your BAG neatly. Is that clear?

AZUL: POKéMON CRYSTAL VERSION, MOM!

MOM: Again with the imagination! "KRIS"... oh, you and your imaginary JOHTOnian girlfriend... heehee!

AZUL blushes.

AZUL: MOM!

MOM: I'm just teasing, sweetie, heehee! Anyway, PROF. OAK's grandkids from next door are waiting for you.

AZUL: How can you possibly-

GARETH's voice: AZUL! Get that butt into gear!

MOM smirks.

MOM: I'm PSYCHIC.

AZUL: Very funny... okay, I'm off.

MOM: Alright, have fun on your JOURNEY, sweetie! Take care, now!

AZUL: I will!

AZUL leaves his house. MOM sobs with joy as she looks through the window.

MOM: My little EGG's all evolved...

A teacup levitates over to MOM, who casually takes it and sips from it, while continuing to stare.

***
AZUL reaches GARETH.

GARETH: Took ya long enough, AZUL!

AZUL: Sorry, it's hard to keep track of time when the day-night cycle hasn't been invented yet.

GARETH: Fine, I'll let it slide this one time.

AZUL: Cool. So... which way to your Grandpa's lab?

GARETH: Oh, it's-

GARETH grins.

GARETH: -oop north.

AZUL: Up north...?

GARETH: Yeah! Head past our houses into the tall grass, walk along the mostly uneventful route, then turn right at the coffee-deficit OLD MAN, and you'll find a big building marked "GYM".

AZUL: "JIM"...?

GARETH: Yeah! Smell ya later!

GARETH turns and walks in the direction opposite to the one he gave AZUL.

AZUL: Something seems... off about this...

AZUL shrugs.

AZUL: Eh, it's worth a shot. Like BIG BROTHER always says, "NPCs are a font of reliable, repetitive information."

AZUL heads to the tall grass and begins slowly taking a step (for dramatic effect).

"CHIRP!"

To be Continued...

Scene 2: OAK POKéMON LABORATORY

GARETH walks up to ROUGE and PROF. OAK.

ROUGE: There you are, Little Bro! Did you find Azul?

GARETH: Sure did, SIS. He was lazing it up at home. Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if he broke his alarm clock.

OAK: Don't be silly, POOPERPOTION! You know as well as I that time is a myth!

ROUGE: You mean "DIALGA"...?

OAK: That's what I said! "Time is a DIALGA!"

GARETH: Oh, please! Next you'll be telling us there are four different first POKéMON!

OAK: Of course there are! Look, I have one of them here! Haha! It is inside the POKé BALL!

GARETH: Well then, I know which one I'm not choosing...

ROUGE: So... where is Azul?

GARETH: Hm? Oh yeah... funny story-

Scene 3: PALLET TOWN

We cut to a view outside the Lab.

OAK's voice: You sent AZUL to TOKIWA CITY?! Without a POKéMON to protect him?!

OAK bursts through the doors and begins racing toward the north gate.

TECH MANIAC: Technology is incredible!

OAK suddenly stops running and faces the TECH MANIAC outside his laboratory.

OAK: Oh? Is it really?

TECH MANIAC: You can now store and recall ITEMs and POKéMON as data via PC!

OAK grins with delight and enthusiasm.

OAK: Ooh, how exciting! Do go on!

***
The scene cuts to a view of AZUL, who is frozen mid-step as a PIDGEY's eyes glint from the grass.

AZUL: I wonder how long I've been standing like this...

PIDGEY: "Chirp!"

AZUL: You're right, POPPO. Time is inconsequential in a KANTO playthrough!

PIDGEY: "Chirp!"

AZUL: Wait... your name is "PIDGEY"...?

PIDGEY: "Chirp!"

AZUL: All POPPO are named PIDGEY?!

PIDGEY: "Chirp!"

AZUL: But PROFITEROLE OAK said-

PIDGEY: "Chirp!"

AZUL: Take that back! The PROF. is NOT a senile old-

OAK's voice: Wait! Don't go out!

AZUL turns to face OAK as he charges toward him, kicking up a cloud of dust.

AZUL: WAAAAAAAH!

OAK: WAAAAAAAH!

GARETH's voice: EVERYBODY STOP SHOUTING!

OAK rams into AZUL, causing both to fall to the ground and a POKé BALL to fling from OAK's coat.

AZUL: Ow!

OAK: Sorry, my boy! I'm a little clumsy at my age! Haha!

AZUL: Well, I'm just disappointed that the PIDGEY was scared away.

The Generation I "Gotcha!" melody plays.

OAK: Never mind, AZUL. There are plenty of POPPO along Route 1, so I'm sure you'll find one to befriend.

AZUL: Nuh-uh! I already friended that one!

OAK: What if I told you there was a special kind of POPPO out there, one with the power to create BLIZZARDs with a flap of its PRETTY WINGs?

AZUL: Ooh...

OAK: According to legend, its name is FREEZER, and it lives on a warm, sunny tropical island.

AZUL: Wow, that sounds gre-

AZUL pouts.

AZUL: Waaaaaaait a minute... are you messing with me, like GARETH tried to do?

OAK: Not even close, my boy! I saw it with my own two eyes, when I was lost in a frozen mountain summit, and it guided me to the safety of a town filled with DRAGON TAMERs next to a PATH of ICE!

AZUL: Nuh-uh! You just said it lives on a tropical island!

OAK: Two tropical islands, in fact, with both connected by a PATH of ICE!

AZUL: That's what you said about the frozen mountain summit! And DRAGONs are weak to ICE, so why would DRAGON TAMERs live there?

OAK: More importantly, you need a POKéMON for your own protection... I know! Here, come with me!

OAK races in the direction of the LAB.

AZUL: That PIDGEY was right... the PROFITEROLE is senile.

OAK's voice: Haha!

GARETH's voice: WHY WON'T YOU ALL STOP SHOUTING ALREADY?!

AZUL heads back to the LAB. The scene slowly zooms to a view of a Gachapon-like POKé BALL with a green lid.

PIDGEY's voice: "Chirp!"

The POKé BALL vanishes in a flash of green light.

To be Continued...

Scene 4: OAK POKéMON LABORATORY

AZUL follows OAK into the LAB.

AZUL: Whoa... this place is awesome!

A woman with a name tag that reads "AMANDA" smiles sweetly.

AMANDA: Isn't it? PROF. OAK is the foremost authority on POKéMON. Many TRAINERs hold him in high regard!

AZUL: Well, I know at least one PIDGEY who'd disagree... a-as an acquaintance, I mean... well, we only met the once, but it still counts!

SCIENTIST #1: You seem to imply you can understand and translate POKéMON cries, young man.

AZUL: Uh... what are you inferring?

SCIENTIST #1: I research POKéMON as PROF. OAK's ASSISTANT.

AZUL: You do? Why...?

SCIENTIST #2: Ha! You have a keen sense of humour, kid!

AZUL: Wow... you must not get out of this LAB much, huh?

SCIENTIST #1: Ha!

SCIENTIST #2: And just what is that supposed to mean, JACK?!

SCIENTIST #1: Oh, don't do this now, KARL...

"KARL" pouts.

KARL: Why not? You never say anything nice!

"JACK" becomes nervous.

JACK: KARL, not in front of the new TRAINER...

KARL: Oh, it's always an excuse with you!

JACK: You're starting to embarrass me...

KARL: Good! Maybe you'll learn from this!

AZUL: Uh... I'm gonna leave you to it...

AZUL slips past and approaches the PROF.

JACK: Are you happy now?

KARL: Me?!

JACK: You started it!

KARL: You're the one who-

AMANDA sighs.

AMANDA: Not again...

***
AZUL enters the main LAB.

AZUL's thoughts: I hope that squabble isn't a precursor of things to come...

ROUGE: -ompletely stupid and reckless of you, Gareth!

GARETH: Oh, come on! What's the worst that could've happened?

ROUGE: He could've blacked out... or worse!

AZUL: Darn it...

GARETH: Just 'cos he's a computer whiz, doesn't mean he isn't as strong as a MACHO-

GARETH and ROUGE suddenly notice AZUL.

GARETH: MAN, it's good to see you're alright, AZUL, buddy! W-We were just talking about you! Haha!

AZUL: Uh... okay?

ROUGE: Are you alright, Azul? What happened?

AZUL: I friended a PIDGEY with a taste for KALOSian cuisine and skills in advanced thermodynamics! Did you know that for every action, there's an equal an opposite reaction?

GARETH: ...y-yes?

ROUGE: Gareth? Don't you have something to say to Azul...? Hm? Hm?

GARETH grins.

GARETH: I'm not greedy like you! Go ahead and choose first, AZUL!

ROUGE sighs.

ROUGE: Close enough.

AZUL smiles with excitement.

AZUL: Ooh, goody!

OAK: When I was young, I was a serious POKéMON TRAINER. In my old age, I have only three left, but you can have one! Choose!

AZUL: Wow! Which is which?

OAK: Well, take a look!

AZUL approaches the green POKé BALL on the left side of the table.

OAK: That is the LIZARD POKéMON, HITOKAGE!

AZUL: Ooh... is it a WATER-type?

OAK: No, it's a FIRE-type!

GARETH: Then why is its POKé BALL green...?

OAK: Colour coding, my dear POOPERPOTION!

AZUL snickers as he examines the red POKé BALL in the middle.

AZUL: And this one...?

OAK: The TINYTURTLE POKéMON, ZENIGAME!

AZUL: Now, that one's a WATER-type!

OAK: Exactly! Well done!

ROUGE: Grandpa, you're getting these Pokémon species' names wrong again, teehee!

OAK: Don't be silly, AKAKO! Would I be the POKéMON PROF. if I got their namae wrong, desu yo?

AZUL points to the blue POKé BALL on the right.

AZUL: I choose this one!

OAK: You'll choose FUSHIGIDANE, the SEED POKéMON?

AZUL: Yeah! I'm gonna be a POISON-type specialist!

GARETH: Really? In KANTO?

AZUL: Sure, why not?

GARETH: Oh... no reason...

GARETH's thoughts: Note to self: Find an ABRA the first chance I get... heheheh...

AZUL takes the POKé BALL.

OAK: I think that's a great POKéMON, too!

The Generation I "Item Get!" tune plays.

AZUL: Well, that was out-of-place...

***
Later...

The three TRAINERs each examine their POKé BALLS.

OAK: Now that you've each chosen a partner POKéMON, would you like to give them a nickname?

AZUL: Ooh, yes please! Um... I'm gonna call you... SAUR!

The POKé BALL shakes with delight.

GARETH: So the name you're giving your BULBASAUR... is "SAUR"...? Wow, how original...

AZUL: Well... it's a nickname, as in a conjunction of a full name.

GARETH: ...sh-shut up, SUPER NERD.

ROUGE: Classic Gareth... teehee!

GARETH: Well, I'm not gonna demean my partner CHARMANDER by removing half its name... and not just because I can't think of a good one.

ROUGE: Methinks thou doth protest too much...

GARETH: Are you calling me a hypocrite?!

ROUGE: I've chosen, as my partner Squirtle's nickname, ZENI, as inspired by my dear Grandpa's silly grasp of Pokémon names.

OAK: Well then, it appears you're all set! Good luck on your POKéMON JOURNEY, new TRAINERs!

AZUL heads for the door.

GARETH: Wait! AZUL, let's check out our POKéMON!

GARETH blocks the exit, his POKé BALL ready to throw.

GARETH: Come on, I'll take you on!

AZUL groans.

AZUL: Three clashes in one episode... I knew it...

***
We cut to the entrance. In the background, two POKé BALL opening sounds are heard, followed by two POKéMON cries.

CHARMANDER's voice: "GAA-grr!"

SAUR's voice: "Gwr-BWA-gwr!"

KARL's voice: I'm so sorry, JACK...

JACK's voice: It's fine, KARL. I should know when I'm about to faux pas by now...

The scene pans to the ASSISTANTS. JACK is comforting KARL.

KARL: No, no... I should be more considerate. You've been through a lot since the SAFARI ZONE incident.

JACK: I keep telling you, it wasn't that bad.

KARL: You deserved better than that.

JACK: It was just a green EGG.

KARL: Just a green EGG? It was a sham! I'm sure that zoo's a scam, I am!

JACK: Well, what's done is done. No use dwelling on past mistakes, hm? Hm?

KARL: You're right... I'm sorry.

JACK: Me too. Bring it in...

JACK and KARL give each other a hug.

GARETH's voice: What?! No! I picked the wrong POKéMON! Darn you, AZUL!

KARL: I think those two have issues...

JACK: Ha!

Scene 1: ROUTE 1

AZUL and ROUGE travel along ROUTE 1.

ROUGE: I can’t believe Gareth stormed off like that just because he lost his first battle.

AZUL: I know… I mean, how did he not know CHARMANDER have no FIRE-type moves at Lv. 5?

ROUGE: Well…

***
OAK: Now remember, Whatever-your-name-is-

GARETH: GARETH OAK.

OAK: What a coincidence! We share a surname!

GARETH: Well, duh! I’m your grandson!

OAK: Really? I could swear I only have a granddaughter…

GARETH: Ugh…

OAK: Anyway, remember that HITOKAGE don’t learn their first HONŌ-type MOVE, HINONI, until Level GO. It could mean the difference between KATSU and KASUKANA in KAISEN with a KUSA-type KYAPPUMON.

GARETH: Whatever you say, OJĪSAN…

ROUGE: I think he’s a little overworked.

OAK: Hm… you may be right, DAISY.

ROUGE: I was talking to Gareth, actually. And Daisy’s your other granddaughter!

OAK: No, that’s SUSAN, silly! Or is it AMY… ROSE… DONNA NOBLE… has been saved… to BOX 10… in CAL’s PC!

GARETH: And 3… 2… 1…

OAK: Haha!

GARETH: There we go.

***
AZUL: Wow…

ROUGE: Yup.

AZUL: Why is the PROF. so determined to educate GARETH all about POKéMON, anyway?

ROUGE: Something about wanting him to be his successor in the family business.

AZUL: A successor to the PROFESSOR?

ROUGE: Yessir!

AZUL: Wow, I never woulda guessur.

ROUGE: But Gareth has no patience for that kind of tedium. I mean, his attention span is shorter than y-

ROUGE’s eyes bulge as AZUL looks at her.

AZUL: Yeah… pretty sure he has a better chance of becoming a GYM LEADER three years from now.

ROUGE: That idea’s even more absurd.

AZUL and ROUGE laugh.

AZUL: Could you imagine it? Him, a GYM LEADER?

ROUGE: Yeah, he’d probably throw a tantrum so huge every time he loses that he’d flat-out refuse to give the Gym Challenger their Badge for being a big meanie!

AZUL: Naw, he’d totally accuse the CHALLENGER of cheating and send them on a weird fetch quest to prove their strength, and then he’d still refuse to give them the BADGE!

ROUGE: Nonono, wait, I’ve got it…

AZUL: Oh, yeah?

ROUGE: He’ll probably be in the most remote location, with no-one having any idea where he is, prompting the Challenger to go and find him…

AZUL: …and he’ll refuse to challenge anyone who doesn’t have all but one BADGE, on the grounds of making it a “fair” battle.

ROUGE: Exactly! That’s my Lit-

Scene 2: VIRIDIAN CITY

ROUGE: -tle Bro through and through!

AZUL: What the heck just happened with the music and everything turning a slightly yet still noticeably different shade of green?

ROUGE: Oh, we just entered Viridian City.

AZUL: Really? We were so busy chatting that it felt like only a minute or two to get here.

ROUGE: You’re not wrong…

AZUL: Hey, there’s a pond over there. Let’s relax with our POKéMON.

ROUGE: Good idea, Azul. ZENI, come on out, Sweetie!

ROUGE tosses a Gachapon-style POKé BALL with a red lid into the air. It pops, and a SQUIRTLE appears.

ZENI: ”Gurr-GYOO!”

AZUL: Aight, SAUR! It’s playtime!

AZUL tosses his POKé BALL into the air, and a BULBASAUR appears.

SAUR: ”Gwr-BWA-gwr!”

SAUR and ZENI notice each other and begin playing.

ROUGE: Why not go for a swim, you two?

SAUR and ZENI look at the pond, and an expression of joy spreads across their faces.

AZUL: Try to stay close to shore, in case there are GOLDEEN. Their horns are sharp on the ol’ buttocks!

ZENI jumps into the water, whereas SAUR tests it by gently dipping its foot.

ROUGE: You sound as though you know from personal experience, Azul.

AZUL: I said I don’t wanna talk about it!

ZENI splashes SAUR, who shakes off the water like a dog.

ROUGE: Actually, you didn’t, but okay.

AZUL: Thank you. This is a long journey, so I’d like to reserve at least a little dignity before-

SAUR spots a NIDORAN♂ and begins chasing it.

AZUL: SAUR, no! Come back!

AZUL begins pursuing SAUR. ROUGE calls out.

ROUGE: Let’s meet up at the Pokémon Center later, okay? Azul…?

AZUL: No, SAUR, stop! That’s POISON OAK!

ROUGE sighs as she sits at a bench.

ROUGE: This is gonna be fun…

ZENI leaps into ROUGE’s lap and wags its tail. ROUGE gently pets the top of its head, and it smiles.

AZUL’s voice: Who the HAIL left a perfectly good POTION in this bush?!

To be Continued…

Scene 3: ROUTE 22

AZUL chases SAUR into a patch of tall grass.

AZUL: Did you find him?

SAUR: ”Gwr-BWA-gwr!”

AZUL: But if you lost sight of him… then why did you run all the way into this confusingly-numbered ROUTE?

SAUR: ”Gwr-BWA-gwr!”

AZUL: What?! Who doesn’t like going for a swim?!

SAUR: ”Gwr-BWA-gwr!”

AZUL: Okay, you make a valid point. We’ll friend a TEN’ACOOL or somethin’ along the way.

SAUR nods smugly.

AZUL: And there’s no need for that kinda language, Smug… s… Smugseed!

SAUR holds its right vine-bud behind its head with a blushed “Oops…” expression.

AZUL: Now while we’re here, let’s look for that NIDO-

PIDGEY’s Voice: ”Chirp!”

AZUL: Well, that’s weird, considering there are no wild PIDGEY on this route…

SPEAROW’s voice: “Gehwrwrwr-GWAWAWA!”

AZUL: That makes much more sense.

Scene 4: POKéMON MART: VIRIDIAN CITY

ROUGE: Wow… we don’t have shops like this in Pallet Town! Actually, we don’t have any shops in Pallet Town… how exactly is our economy supported anyway?

***
We cut to a view of AMANDA with five MEOWTH and one PIKACHU.

AMANDA: Alright, everyone… use PAY DAY!

The MEOWTH and PIKACHU cause money to rain from the sky.

AMANDA: Ah… it’s a good thing I had that TM16… and that my sweet lil’ PIKACHU happened to wander into town far from her native habitat.

PIKACHU: “Pikapika!”

AMANDA: You’re all doing great! Okay, two more PAY DAYs and then we can have some yummy treats!

MEOWTH #1: “WHEE-yah!”

MEOWTH #2: “WHEE-yah!”

PIKACHU appears confused.

PIKACHU: “Chu…?”

MEOWTH #3: “WHEE-yah!”

PIKACHU frowns, as though offended.

PIKACHU: “…pika.”

PIKACHU zaps the MEOWTH’s tail, causing it to miss its PAY DAY, and one of its own coins to knock it out. PIKACHU boldly folds her arms.

PIKACHU: “Pika… pikachu!”

***
ROUGE: Now, if I could just find a few extra Poké Ba-

CLERK: You came from PALLET TOWN?!

ROUGE: Uh… kinda?

CLERK: You know PROF. OAK, right?

ROUGE smiles.

ROUGE: He’s my grandfather.

CLERK: Perfect! His order came in! Will you give it to him?

ROUGE: Uh… I-I’m kinda in the middle of someth-

The CLERK shoves OAK’S PARCEL into ROUGE’s hands. The “Item Get!” jingle plays.

ROUGE: Fine, I guess… oh, may I pl-

CLERK: Okay, say “Hi!” to PROF. OAK for me!

ROUGE sighs.

ROUGE: Never mind… hm… it’s from someone named “Kurt”… well, maybe I can obtain some Poké Balls another way.

Scene 5: ROUTE 22

AZUL is holding two blue-topped POKé BALLs.

AZUL: Well, it was a long and gruelling less-than-a-minute, but we finally did it, SAUR! We made a new friend!

The POKé BALLs shake violently.

AZUL: Hey, hey, hey! Break it up, you two! Be nice!

The POKé BALL in AZUL’s right hand wobbles.

AZUL: SAUR, what did I say about using that word?!

The POKé BALL stills.

AZUL: Thank you.

GARETH’s voice: Listen! Is that a RIVAL I hear?

AZUL: Hm? Did either of you just hear an obnoxious, ego-driven voice?

GARETH’s voice: What…?

The POKé BALLs shake.

AZUL: Oh, good… it isn’t just me, then. But what kind of creature even makes such an irritatingly frustrating cry…?

GARETH’s voice: Irritating?! Frustrating?! I’m not a freakin’ JYNX, AZUL!

AZUL: Wait… I think I figured it out! It’s not a POKéMON!

GARETH: No spit, LOOKER…

AZUL: Well, whoever they are, I sure wouldn’t want to meet them on a relaxing sea cruise…

GARETH pops into view like a ninja.

GARETH: That’s it! You! Me! Battle! NOW!

AZUL: Oh, hey, GARETH! My friends and I were just trying to figure out who’s making that awfully overbearing and self-obsessed monologue nearby…

GARETH suddenly calms down and smirks.

GARETH: I’m gonna enjoy this… PIDGEY, come on out!

PIDGEY pops out of the POKé BALL.

PIDGEY: ”Chirp!”

AZUL: PIDGEY?! Good to see you again, buddy!

GARETH: Wait… have you met?

AZUL: Yeah, just before I went on that dangerous and unnecessary solo quest without any allies to defend me in any way.

PIDGEY: ”Chirp!”

AZUL: Oh… so you were sent to SOMEONE’s PC!

PIDGEY: ”Chirp!”

GARETH: Yeah, yeah, and then I found it in BOX 1 and stupidly thought it was a going away present from GRAMPS. Now are you sending out a POKéMON, already?!

AZUL: Fine… but which one… hm…

AZUL stares at each of his POKé BALLs in turn.

No sooner does our Hero make a new POKéMON friend than he is immediately thrust into a BATTLE of WILLs with an overbearing, overstated, overly confident RIVAL whose hubris may be his undoing. Who will AZUL choose to send into ba-

GARETH stares at AZUL as his gaze shifts between both POKé BALLs.

GARETH: I seem to have made a tactical error…

PIDGEY: ”Chirp!”

GARETH: I dunno! It’s some kinda soup!

To be Continued…

Scene 6: POKéMON CENTER: VIRIDIAN CITY

ROUGE enters the POKéMON CENTER as the NURSE hands AZUL his POKéMON.

NURSE: Thank you. Your POKéMON are fighting fit!

AZUL: Oh, thank you, MA'AM.

AZUL bows.

NURSE: We hope to see you again!

AZUL turns to face ROUGE, who smiles.

ROUGE: Oh, Azul! Nice to see you in one piece!

AZUL: Well, that was insensitive...

ROUGE's eyebrow raises.

ROUGE: How so?

AZUL: Well, I can't be sure, and I'd rather not judge others I barely know, but...

ROUGE: What could possibly-

AZUL: I think that NURSE is a masochist.

ROUGE: Wait... how do you know what a masochist is?

AZUL: I looked it up in the dictionary while waiting for my POKéMON to heal for the 96th time in a row.

ROUGE: Um... why the-

AZUL: Something about mashing A too many times or something...

ROUGE: O... kay then...?

AZUL: And she said she hopes my POKéMON are in-

NURSE: Okay! We'll need your POKéMON.

The NURSE takes SAUR and NIDO, and loads them into a HEALING MCHN.

AZUL: No, not again! Now we need to wait for the Healing Mickhen to finish again!

ROUGE smiles with delight.

ROUGE: Congratulations, Azul!

AZUL: Hey, I know I messed up, but there's no need for sarca-

ROGUE: No, silly! I mean about catching your newest POKéMON friend!

NURSE: -ee you again!

AZUL holds up NIDO's POKé BALL.

AZUL: Oh yeah... heheh... thanks, ROUGE.

ROUGE: You're welcome. Oh, I have something for you!

AZUL: Really?

ROUGE hands AZUL a POKéDEX. The "Item Get!" jingle plays.

AZUL: Whoa, a POKéDEX?!

ROUGE: It's called a... how the Hail do you know what a Pokédex is?!

AZUL: It... just said in that box right there, "AZUL got POKéDEX from ROUGE."

ROUGE sighs.

ROUGE: Of course it did... anyway, let's get going.

AZUL: Ooh, to VIRIDIAN FOREST?

ROUGE: Yeah, we... okay, now you're just showing off!

AZUL: I am?

ROUGE: How can you possibly know about Viridian Forest?!

AZUL: It’s on this useful TOWN MAP right here!

ROUGE: Oh… that makes sense.

AZUL: GARETH said he’d tell DAISY not to lend me one, so she gave it to me instead!

ROUGE grins.

ROUGE: Oh, that Gar-

AZUL: Haha!

ROUGE: …anyway, shall we head to “TOKIWA MORI” now?

AZUL: Yeah! I wanna find a WEEDLE!

ROGUE: Alright! Let’s Go, Azul!

AZUL: Evo! Vui!

AZUL and ROUGE head for the door.

AZUL: By the way, where’d you go?

ROUGE: Oh… heheh… funny story…

***
We see PROF. OAK pick up a piece of tofu with chopsticks from a bowl. As he takes a bite, he looks forward… and is so startled he drops everything.

OAK: WAAAAAAAAAH!

OAK calms down.

OAK: Hm…? Why are you here? How long have you been standing there?!

ROUGE: Uh… about eight minutes, give-or-take a few hours.

OAK: Oh… I thought you were GHOST GIRL!

ROUGE: I’m… gonna pretend I know exactly what you’re talking about and answer your first question. Here you go, Grandpa!

ROUGE hands OAK the OAK’S PARCEL. The “Item Get!” jingle plays.

OAK: Ah, this is the custom POKé BALL I ordered! Thank you!

ROUGE’s left eye squints.

ROUGE’s thoughts: The custom whatnow?!

OAK: Oh, if we’re exchanging gifts, I have something for you!

ROUGE: Would it happen to be a set of Poké Balls, Grandpa?

OAK: Don’t be silly, AKAKO! KYAPPU MARU don’t exactly grow on TREEs!

ROUGE: Well… at least this couldn’t get any more awkward…

GARETH suddenly bursts in.

GARETH: GRAMPS! My POKéMON’s so awesome that it just lost to stupid AZUL’s stupid BULBASAUR! Again!

ROUGE facepalms.

***
AZUL: Wow…

ROUGE: You should see our place on Game Night… and Pizza Night… and Karaoke Night… actually, let’s never speak of this again.

AZUL: But POKé BALLs do grow on trees! There’s this guy named KURT who makes ‘em out of APRICORNs!

ROUGE: Heehee… maybe you should be Grandpa’s apprentice.

AZUL: Speaking of trees, where did all this greenery suddenly come from?!

ROUGE: Uh… this is Viridian Forest.

AZUL: But-

ROUGE: We arrived while we were chatting, like back on Route 1.

AZUL: Huh… looks like I missed the bit where it said…

“Scene 7: VIRIDIAN FOREST”

…didn’t I?

ROUGE: Looks like. Also, the Hail are you-

The “Trainer’s Eyes Meet: Male!” jingle plays.

BUG CATCHER: Yo! You can’t jam out if you’re a POKéMON TRAINER!

A BUG CATCHER readies a POKé BALL.

AZUL: Hm? Hm?

BUG CATCHER: The name’s RICK. I’m an expert when it comes to BUG-type POKéMON!

AZUL: Really?! Do you know about WEEDLE?!

RICK: Sure do! In fact…

RICK throws a POKé BALL, and a WEEDLE pops out.

WEEDLE: “Ggg-GWRWRG-wrrwwr!”

AZUL: Wow!

RICK: And I’ll tell ya where you can find one of your own… if you beat me in a POKéMON BATTLE!

AZUL: You’re on! Let’s Go, NIDO!

AZUL tosses a POKé BALL, and NIDO pops out.

NIDO: ”GWAAA-bwr!”

RICK grins.

RICK: This is gonna be a cinch.

Scene 8: ROUTE 2

AZUL and ROUGE step onto the northern stretch of ROUTE 2.

AZUL: Well, that was one long ordeal of disappointment…

ROUGE: What are you talking about? You bested three Trainers with your Pokémon friends, found a bunch of useful items along the way, and helped me make a new friend of my own!

A CATERPIE crawls up ROUGE’s back and rests on her head!

CATERPIE: ”GEEEEEEE-gaaaaaaa!”

AZUL: WAAAAAAAH!

AZUL starts trembling as ROUGE giggles.

ROGUE: Don’t be silly, Azul! It’s just my… I mean “our” new friend, FREE!

ROUGE points to the CATERPIE, who seems to smile with delight.

AZUL: Oh, heheh… I thought we were near a gang of GOLDEEN.

ROUGE: You mean a “school” of Goldeen.

AZUL: And now you’ve gone and made ‘em more intimidating!

AZUL groans as ROUGE giggles.

AZUL: And as for RICK… all he said was, “You’ll find ‘em everywhere in this forest!” I battled him for information I already knew!

ROUGE: It’s too bad you didn’t find a single one…

AZUL: Well, they’re rare in this version of the game, so it makes sense.

ROUGE’s eyebrow raises.

AZUL: And besides, we still made one new friend in there!

ROUGE looks up, smiles, and gently nuzzles FREE’s chin with a fingertip. FREE squeals with delight.

ROUGE: Thanks for the Poké Balls, by the way.

AZUL: You’re welcome. I bought a bunch, so there’s plenty for everyone.

ROUGE: Speaking of which… where did Gareth go?

***
GARETH is trying to sneak past the OLD MAN in VIRIDIAN CITY.

OLD MAN: Ah… I’ve had my coffee now, and I feel great! Sure, you can go through!

GARETH: Th-

OLD MAN: Are you in a hurry?

GARETH: Y-

OLD MAN: I see you’re working on a POKéDEX.

GARETH: N-

OLD MAN: Let me show you how to catch POKéMON as my apology for being so grumpy earlier.

GARETH: B-

The OLD MAN releases a pheromone that attracts a number of WEEDLE, blocking all access in either direction.

OLD MAN: Ya better take note, kid.

GARETH: F-

***
AZUL: Eh, he isn’t missing much.

ROUGE: True…

We see ROUGE’s foot as it steps past the tall grass. A WEEDLE pokes its head out, before disappearing inside.

Part 1: POKéMON CENTER: PEWTER CITY

AZUL and ROUGE enter the POKéMON CENTER. ROUGE is carrying a METAPOD.

AZUL: Wow, I can't believe FREE just changed like that. I'm so shocked!

ROUGE: Well, you wouldn't have stepped on that Pikachu's tail if you hadn't decided to run back into the forest on your wild crusade to find a Weedle.

AZUL: True... thanks for saving me, buddy!

ROUGE: You're w-

FREE: "ZZZ-zhzhzh-ZZZ-gwgwgwrrr!"

ROUGE: Oh, right... heheh...

AZUL: "ME... TAP... OD," huh? Neat!

ROUGE: Wait... Azul, are y-

AZUL: Ooh, who's that POKéMON?!

AZUL runs to the counter as ROUGE sighs.

ROUGE: Anything to say, FREE?

FREE: "ZZZ-zhzhzh-ZZZ-gwgwgwrrr!"

ROUGE: Ooo-ooo-EEE-

FREE: "ZZZ-zhzhzh-ZZZ-gwgwgwrrr!"

ROUGE: -eh-ooh-

FREE: "ZZZ-zhzhzh-ZZZ-gwgwgwrrr!"

ROUGE: OOOOOH... I'm never gonna get it, heheh...

ROUGE and FREE sweat awkwardly.

***
AZUL speaks with a JIGGLYPUFF.

AZUL: Your name is PUDDING?

The JIGGLYPUFF nods.

AZUL: Is it because you look like pudding?

PUDDING: "PYA!"

AZUL: Well, I think your name is very nice.

PUDDING blushes.

PUDDING: "PYA!"

AZUL: A song? Well, sure! I'd love that!

PUDDING smiles as ROUGE gasps.

ROUGE: N-

PUDDING: Puuuuu... PY-AAA puuuuu... PY-AAA puuuuu... puuu-PUUU-puuuuuuu...

Scene 2: PEWTER CITY

GARETH approaches the path to ROUTE 3.

GARETH's thoughts: Phew... almost to the FAIRY SANCTUM... I swear, if I see one more BUG, I'm gonna-

Voice: Hey, kid! Think you're a hotshot TRAINER?

GARETH looks over at the BUG CATCHER who dares address him.

GARETH: You know it! In fact, I was just on my way to-

BUG CATCHER: Perfect! BROCK's looking for new CHALLENGERs! Come wi' me!

GARETH: Look, I'd love to meet this... GROCK person, but I have better things to-

GARETH is suddenly lifted by a PINSIR.

PINSIR: "Goyaaaaa-GEEEEEK!"

GARETH: Did it just call me a-

BUG CATCHER: To the GYM!

GARETH cries as the PINSIR carries him into the city.

GARETH: NOOOOOOOOO! I don't wanna go to the GYM! WAAA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAH!

Scene 3: PEWTER MUSEUM OF SCIENCE: PEWTER CITY

AZUL and ROUGE enter a MUSEUM. AZUL's face is covered in comical drawings.

AZUL: Wow... this place is amazing!

ROUGE: I figured you were a science geek, Azul. Teehee!

AZUL: Don't diss the majesty of science, my dear ROUGE, even in a world filled with MAGICAL CREATURES and HUMANs with supernatural powers.

An OLD AMBER levitates past AZUL and ROUGE to the rear, with a SCIENTIST scrambling to catch it in a sprint of sheer panic.

AZUL: Does it feel staticky in the air to you?

ROUGE: A little...

AZUL: Oh, okay... I thought I was having another EXTRASENSORY experience, but I guess not.

ROUGE: Uh... what are you ta-

AZUL: Two tickets, please, Mr. CURATOR, sir!

AZUL approaches the service counter.

ROUGE: That kid is full of surprises.

AZUL's voice: 50 POKé DOLLARS each?!

ROUGE's eyes bulge.

AZUL's voice: Wow, that's way less than I expected! I am genuinely filled with surprise right now! Wow... what a welcome and generous price point for the wonder of learning.

ROUGE giggles.

ROUGE: I've never met someone so excited about learning before...

Scene 4: PEWTER GYM: PEWTER CITY

GARETH heads for the exit. We see CLYDE, the GYM GUIDE, chisel into a statue nearby.

GARETH: Well... it was tough, but I somehow managed to earn a BOULDERBADGE.

Scene 5: PEWTER CITY

GARETH: And now that this unwanted-yet-slightly-ego-stoking detour is adieu, I can finally move onto the FAIRY SA-

Voice: Excuse me, Monsieur?

GARETH looks at the LASS speaking to him, and is immediately smitten.

GARETH: Oh... h-hey... uh... heheh...

LASS: Did you visit the MUSEUM?

GARETH: MUSEUM...? Y-

GARETH snaps out of his infatuation.

GARETH: Do I look like a science geek?!

The LASS tilts her head in curiosity.

GARETH: No! I didn't go to the MUSEUM!

The LASS beams with delight.

LASS: Really?! You absolutely have to go!

GARETH: No, I-

A BEEDRILL zooms toward GARETH. He screams and races in the direction of the MUSEUM. The LASS smiles sweetly.

LASS: Aw... my lil' RILLY has a new friend! Teehee!

To be Continued...

Scene 1: POKéMON CENTER: ROUTE 3

ROUGE sits on a couch next to the door, with ZENI sitting next to her. A BUTTERFREE flaps its wings nearby.

ROUGE: Now that FREE is fully evolved, there’s no challenge we won’t be able to overcome!

ZENI: ”Gurrr-GYOO!”

FREE: ”KEE-kaa!”

ROUGE: Although, given the run of bonkers occurrences at the hands of Azul, that may be too much of a str-

AZUL’s voice: Looks like you’re not the only one of us with a WATER-type anymore, ROUGE!

ROUGE: Hm? Hm?

AZUL walks up to ROUGE, tossing a blue-topped POKé BALL into the air and catching it with skill.

ROUGE: What are you talking a-

Voice #1: Hey! Come one, come all, and feast your eyes! I’ve got a swell POKéMON - a MAGIKARP - for only 500 POKé DOLLARS!

ROUGE: Hoo boy…

Voice #1: An’ there’s enough o’ these babies to go ‘round! Don’t be shy, TRAINERs!

Voice #2: Ooh, I’ll take one!

Voice #1: Then here ya go, SPORT! That’ll be a cold, hard 500 kippers.

ROUGE sighs.

ROUGE: Of all the reckless… what were you thinking, Azul?!

AZUL: About…?

ROUGE: Do I have to retrace everything you did today?

AZUL: Don’t you mean “everything we did,” teammate?

ZENI smiles happily.

ZENI: ”Gurrr-GYOO!”

AZUL: You said it, ZENI!

ROUGE: Okay, let’s start with that freebie at PEWTER GYM…

The scene ripples into a flashback.

AZUL: Freebie…?

***
Scene -3: PEWTER GYM: PEWTER CITY

AZUL and ROUGE enter PEWTER CITY GYM.

AZUL: Wow, that BUG CATCHER was pushy...

ROUGE: Okay, do you have a problem with Bug Catchers or something?

AZUL: Of course not. Why would you even ask me that, ROUGE?

ROUGE: Well, you haven't exactly had anything nice to say about any of the ones we've met.

AZUL: Explain.

ROUGE: Let's see... you accused Rick of providing "information you already knew"-

AZUL: Well... yeah, I did. Doesn't mean he's a bad person, though.

ROUGE: Hm? Hm?

AZUL: His BATTLE technique is amazing. Plus, the way he comforts his POKéMON after FAINTing is sweet...

ROUGE: Okay, well... what about Pinsir Guy?

AZUL: What about him?

ROUGE: You just called him "pushy"!

AZUL: Of course I did. His PINSIR used STRENGTH. That's literally used to push things.

ROUGE: Well-

AZUL: And he has a name, you know. It's SAMURAI.

ROUGE: ...and the one in that garden?

AZUL: BEXTER?

ROUGE: ...y-yes?

BROCK greets AZUL and ROUGE.

BROCK: Welcome to PEWTER GYM! I'm-

AZUL waves his hand in BROCK's direction.

AZUL: Just a sec, please.

BROCK: Uh... okay...?

BROCK looks at a CLOCK on a nearby ROCK.

AZUL: What's wrong with spraying your garden with REPELs to keep BUG POKéMON out?

ROUGE: You said it was cruel!

AZUL: No, I said it was "cool," and you "agreed wholeheartedly" with me!

ROUGE: Oh... heheh, my ba-

ROUGE flips out.

ROUGE: Why would you think it cool?! You love all Pokémon!

AZUL: Of course! Better to keep POKéMON away from your garden than be forced to make 'em faint just because they're laying into your GARDENIAs, right?

BROCK: I'm just gonna wait at the back of th-

ROUGE: Well, you didn't say much to the others!

AZUL: I didn't want to take up their valuable whatever-passes-for-time-in-KANTO!

ROUGE: Azul, they stand around all day in the middle of a forest catching bugs!

AZUL: And it brings them JOY! Who are we to criticise their pastimes?

BROCK's voice: Wait... you two know JOY?!

ROUGE: Well-

AZUL: And watch what you say around FREE, otherwise you may hurt his feelings!

ROUGE: Fair enough... wait... how do you know FREE's gender?! This is Kanto!

AZUL shrugs.

AZUL: He told me.

ROUGE sighs.

ROUGE: Of course he did...

BROCK's voice: Hey, CLYDE! Let’s snack on some PEWTER CRUNCHIES and TEA while these two finish sorting their issues!

ROUGE's eyes bulge.

ROUGE: Did... he just-

***
Scene 2: ROUTE 3

AZUL: ...and then things kinda snowballed from there.

ROUGE: Uh... I thought I was telling the story.

AZUL: Then why did you use "let's" when going into that flashback if it was meant to be a monologue?

ROUGE: Um...?

AZUL: Also, what did you mean by "freebie"?

ROUGE: Are you kidding? The battle was over in a few minutes! That Geodude and Onix didn't even make a dent in SAUR's HP bar!

AZUL: Well, she outsped GEODUDE, and ONIX used BIDE. VINE WHIP is mighty strong against ROCK/GROUND POKéMON.

ROUGE: I stand corrected. Alright, then what about that disagreement in the POKéMON CENTER?

The scene ripples into another flashback.

AZUL: But that OLD MAN was mean!

***
Scene -2: POKéMON CENTER: PEWTER CITY

AZUL is using the PC.

OAK: -and so I said to them, "Sure, I'd love to come and visit you, Lorelei!"

AZUL: Wow, they sound strong!

OAK: Oh, you'd better believe it! They're no slouches, so you'll need to bring your A-Game, my boy! Haha!

AZUL: What do you recommend?

OAK: Well, I-

GARETH's voice: Hey, is that AZUL?

OAK: Why, yes it is, POOPERPOTION!

GARETH: Tell him he's totally pathetic!

OAK: Alright, I'll tell him!

OAK grins.

OAK: GARETH says you have the potential to be as mighty as a GYARADOS!

GARETH: What?! That's not what I-

AZUL: Wow... thanks, GARETH! I'll do my best to keep up with you as your RIVAL!

GARETH: I swear, AZUL... if my new ABRA hadn't accidentally teleported me all the way back to VIRIDIAN CITY, I'd be-

OAK: Yes, yes... very good, POOPERPOTION. Now, AZUL, I recommend going to PEWTER GYM and challenging BROCK for the-

AZUL: -BOULDERBADGE? Already did.

GARETH: You what?!

AZUL: SAUR jumped all the way to Lv. 14. Two more levels and she's ready to evolve!

GARETH: Unbelievable!

OAK: Now, before you go, would you like your POKéDEX evaluated, my boy?

AZUL: Ooh... yes please, PROFE-

Voice #-1: Hm-hm!

AZUL notices a GENTLEMAN frowning and tapping his foot impatiently.

GENTLEMAN: Other people need this PC too, y'know! And by "other people", I mean "me"! Scram!

AZUL: Uh... sorry, I gotta go, PROF.

OAK: But y-

***
Scene 3: MT. MOON

AZUL: ...and then things kinda snowballed from there.

ROUGE: I know. I was there. That Gentleman's language was quite undignified.

AZUL: Yeah, if it weren't for PUDDING floating in and sticking up for me... well, let's just say he's the nicest JIGGLYPUFF I've ever met.

ROUGE: He's the only Jigglypuff you've ever met.

AZUL: Not anymore, technically, since he accidentally bumped the GENTLEMAN's only MOON STONE.

ROUGE: Oh... okay, what about that incident with the YOUNGSTER?

AZUL: Oh yeah... good old BEN...

The scene ripples into another flashback.

ROUGE: Old...?

***
Scene -1: ROUTE 3

AZUL and ROUGE walk along a mountain path.

AZUL: I sure hope we meet someone with an interesting perspective on a particular type of garment in the next few seconds...

ROUGE: What an oddly specific thing to-

The "TRAINER's Eyes Meet!" jingle plays as a YOUNGSTER approaches AZUL.

YOUNGSTER: Hi! I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!

AZUL: No way! I like fingerless gloves for the same reason!

The YOUNGSTER grins.

YOUNGSTER: No way! Dude, that's awesome! What's your name?

AZUL: AZUL! What's yours?

YOUNGSTER: I'm BEN!

AZUL: Nice to meet you, "I'M BEN"!

BEN cracks up laughing.

BEN: If I were drinking MOOMOO MILK right now, I would've squirted it outta my nose!

AZUL: No way! I love MOOMOO MILK and squirting stuff!

BEN: Seriously?! We should totally be BFFs!

AZUL: Yeah! We sh-

ROUGE: Are you two gonna battle already? I'd like to get to Mount Moon before dark.

BEN: Is... she aware there's no NITE in KANTO? Or DARK-type, for that matter?

AZUL: Yeah, she's one of PROF. OAK's grandkids.

BEN: Dude, no way!

AZUL: Way! We even got our first partners as gifts from him!

BEN: Sweet! Whatcha ROCKin', AZUL?

AZUL: A BULBASAUR and a NIDORAN♂!

BEN: You have a reptile and a rodent in your crew? I have a reptile and a rodent in my crew!

AZUL: Whoa, for realsies?!

BEN: Yeah, EKANS and RATTATA!

AZUL: Wow, this is like fate, bro!

BEN: I know, bro!

AZUL: Dude!

BEN: Dude! Yeah!

AZUL: Yeah! Woo!

BEN: Woo!

ROUGE sighs.

***
Scene 4: MT. MOON

ROUGE: ...and then things kinda snowballed from there.

AZUL: How so?

ROUGE: That battle took three hours and eleven minutes... only eight minutes of which was spent actually battling.

AZUL: Why didn't you spend it battling the other TRAINERs on that ROUTE?

ROUGE: I did... and I caught another POKéMON while you and Ben were comparing your lunches.

AZUL: Oh yeah... can you believe we both had RICE BALLs with the exact same filling?

ROUGE: Yes... yes I can. Speaking of which, we both have the same number of Pokémon now.

AZUL: Wait... you didn't release FREE, did you?!

ROUGE: What...? No! Why would you even think I had?!

AZUL: After the rant you made about BUG CATCHERs-

ROUGE: Oh... sorry, I'm just used to always being around an obnoxious egotist who frowns upon anyone with a penchant for "inferior" types.

AZUL: Ah... GARETH?

ROUGE: GARETH.

AZUL relaxes.

AZUL: That's a relief. But... then why did you assume we-

ROUGE: Because you bought that Magikarp, remember?

AZUL: Why would I do that? I can FISH up as many MAGIKARP as I like for free when we get to VERMILION CITY.

ROUGE: True... but... then why were you tossing that POKé BALL back in the POKé CENTER?

AZUL: It helps NIDO relax after a gruelling trek.

ROUGE: Fine, but... then what did you mean when you said I'm "not the only one of us with a Water-type Pokémon anymore"...?

Scene 0: POKéMON CENTER: ROUTE 3

We see GARETH staring at a gold-topped Gacha-style POKé BALL.

GARETH: Wow, my very own MAGIKARP! According to that crusty old book in GRAMPS' library, this thing is "powerful enough to leap over a whole mountain range"... well, time to meet me, MAGIKARP!

We cut to a close-up of GARETH's face as he tosses MAGIKARP's POKé BALL into the air. His eyes widen as a flopping sound is heard.

GARETH: Oh, no...

To be Continued...

Scene 1: MT. MOON

AZUL, SAUR, and ROUGE wander through MT. MOON.

AZUL: Wow, this place is amazing!

ROUGE: I’ll say…

The scene cuts to ROUGE’s face.

ROUGE: Still, we should stick together-

AZUL’s voice: Whoa!

ROUGE: -otherwise we may get separated.

ROUGE pauses.

ROUGE: Thoughts? Azul…?

The scene cuts to a full view. AZUL is absent. SAUR smiles happily.

SAUR: ”Gwr-BWAAAAA-gwr!”

ROUGE giggles sweetly.

ROUGE: I figured he was lost in the “amazing” scenery, SAUR.

***
We cut to a view of a tunnel. AZUL stands and rubs his bottom.

AZUL: Who the HAIL put that hole right there for people to blunder into?

AZUL’s attention draws to a black-and-yellow striped tape and a broken sign that reads: “CAUTION! Ladder under repairs!”

AZUL: Oh. Well, thanks for breaking my fall, SAUR.

AZUL looks in SAUR’s direction. His eyes widen when the POKéMON staring at him is, in fact, a wild PARAS.

AZUL: Hey, you’re not my-

PARAS: “GwrwrwrwrwrWRWRWR-WAAAAAYA!”

AZUL: Look, I swear it was an acci-

AZUL is surrounded by wild PARAS.

AZUL: Well… sh-

The PARAS use SPORE on AZUL.

AZUL: -oo… t…

AZUL falls asleep. One of the PARAS pokes his face, with no response. Another PARAS rummages in his backpack and swipes his lunchbox, before the whole SWARM flees with their loot.

***
ROUGE and SAUR continue wandering through the cave.

ROUGE: Ooh, look! A Clefairy in their native habitat!

We cut to a view of a CLEFAIRY skipping and dancing around a MOON STONE.

CLEFAIRY: “PIP-pi!”

SAUR: “Gwr-BWA-gwr!”

ROUGE: Shh! We’ll need to speak very softly while we observe, otherwise we may scare it aw-

GARETH’s voice: Oh, hi, SIS!

Startled, the CLEFAIRY skips away, along with a flock of ZUBAT. ROUGE sighs as GARETH approaches.

ROUGE: Ugh… hi, Little Bro.

GARETH: Oh, come on, ROUGE! You’re only a couple hours older than me. Can ya drop the “LITTLE” already?

ROUGE: I dunno… your Big Boy voice clearly hasn’t dropped yet, seeing as you just scared away that Clefairy.

GARETH: What CLEFAIRY…? Ooh, MOON STONE! Dibs!

GARETH picks up the MOON STONE. The “Found Item!” sound effect plays.

ROUGE: The one that’s not here, teehee!

GARETH: Well, you know who else isn’t here? My stupid RIVAL. So why the heck is his stupid BULBASAUR here?

SAUR frowns.

GARETH: No offense, DOTTY.

SAUR whips GARETH’s ankle.

GARETH: Ow! Hey, quit it!

SAUR: ”Gwr-BWA-gwr!”

ROUGE: What are you talking about, GARETH?

GARETH: She just whacked me in th-

ROUGE: Not about that… what do you mean your stu- … “rival” isn’t here?

GARETH: Well, unless he’s turned invisible or learned TELEPORT… much like a certain PSI POKéMON who shall remain nameless-

ROUGE: Azul’s standing right over th-

ROUGE looks around as the scene zooms to a full view of the cavern. SAUR immediately panics.

SAUR: ”Gwr-BWA-gwr!”

ROUGE: Oh no… now what do we do?

GARETH: Press on and hope for the best?

ROUGE: We can’t just leave him behind!

GARETH grins.

GARETH: Sure we can!

ROUGE frowns.

ROUGE: By which I mean, “We shouldn’t just leave him behind,” genius.

GARETH grins more enthusiastically.

GARETH: Sure we should!

ROUGE sighs.

ROUGE: The way you speak is like a SANDSHREW running in a big wheel, you know…

GARETH: Well, I don’t know much about running in sandshoes-

ROUGE facepalms.

GARETH: -but if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that my rival may be stupid, but he’s also smart. Like, really smart… don’t ever tell him I made a compliment about him behind his backside.

ROUGE: You talked about butts one too many times in that line of dialogue, Pooperpotion-

GARETH: My wit is a major part of my charm.

ROUGE: -but you’re right. He probably went on ahead of us.

GARETH: Hey… you just said “butt,” ya freakin’ hippogriff!

ROUGE sighs.

ROUGE: Let’s just go.

ROUGE, GARETH, and SAUR proceed.

GARETH: And he can’t sit still for two seconds. I mean… when have you ever known him to laze about and snooze all afternoon?

***
AZUL leans against a wall, still sleeping off the effects of the SPORE.

AZUL: Hm… all your SPAGHETTI are belong to BIMMY…

AZUL suddenly wakes with a start.

AZUL: MMAAAMMA-

AZUL looks around.

AZUL: Oh… it was all just a crazy dream.

AZUL stands to his feet.

AZUL: As if I’d be swarmed by a flock of angry PARAS who accuse me of having a slightly above average BMI for my height.

AZUL looks ahead.

AZUL: Well, I guess now’s as good a time as any to find a way out of this tunnel.

AZUL treks away from the broken ladder. We see a brief blue twinkle next to the cave wall as a CLEFAIRY skips along.

CLEFAIRY: “PIP-pi?”

The CLEFAIRY picks up the ITEM and smiles with delight, before skipping away happily.

***
ROUGE, GARETH, and SAUR continue their trek through the cavern.

GARETH: Be honest, SIS… you like AZUL, don’t you?

ROUGE: As a friend, yes.

GARETH: Shyeah right! Then why are you suddenly all, “Oh, I hope Azuuuuul is alright,” and “Gee, I hope Azuuuuul isn’t hurt,” and “My, I suuuuure hope Azuuuuul finds his way back saaaaafely!”

ROUGE: A little thing called compassion, Bro. Look it up.

GARETH: ”COMPASHEON,” huh? What’s that, an EEVEELUTION or somethin’?

ROUGE sighs.

ROUGE: Besides, Azul being in a relationship with a girl would never work out.

GARETH: Oh, don’t be so melosomatic, SIS! Sure, he’s kind of a dweeb, and he may have thought he was still eleven years old until you set him straight a week ago, but I just know the perfect girl is out there for AZUL. Ever hear of “true love”?

ROUGE: What if it they aren’t the perfect girl, hm? Hm?

GARETH: Wait… so… AZUL’s into robots?

ROUGE facepalms.

ROUGE: Never mind.

GARETH: Actually, now that you mention it, I’m starting to get a little worried about him…

ROUGE: Relax, Gareth. He may not have Saur to help him-

SAUR: ”Gwr-BWA-gwr!”

ROUGE: -but he still has at least one Pokémon as backup.

GARETH: What, you mean the scrawny purple thing that totally didn’t beat my CHARMANDER on ROUTE 22, no matter what AZUL says?

ROUGE: His name is NIDO.

GARETH: And my name’s GARETH. Everyone has names, ROUGE, including POKéMON.

ROUGE: Says the guy with a Magikarp named Magikarp.

GARETH’s eyes widen.

GARETH: How the HAIL do you know about my MA-

GARETH calms down.

GARETH: Whatever. My point is that AZUL stands a much better chance of survival without Bucky McPoisonrat as his only wingmon!

The CLEFAIRY skips past, before tripping over a rock. As the ITEM flings into the air, NIDO suddenly pops out, causing the CLEFAIRY to flee in a panic.

NIDO: ”BWAAAAA-brr!”

GARETH: Huh… what are the odds?

ROUGE’s eyes widen.

ROUGE: Gareth… do you realise what this means?!

GARETH: Sure do, SIS. I’ve gained the power to invoke sudden poetic irony at the worst possible moment… this is awesome!

GARETH grins as ROUGE facepalms.

***

AZUL enters another cavern.

AZUL: Wow… this cavern is amazi-

VOICE: Oi! You there!

The “Trainer’s Eyes Meet: Sinister” tune starts playing.

AZUL: Hm? Hm?

AZUL sees a ROCKET GRUNT approach him.

AZUL: Oh, hi, Mister!

GRUNT: ”Mister?!” How old d’ya think I look, ya punk?!

AZUL: Uh… like, 34? Maybe?

The GRUNT mumbles under his breath.

GRUNT: Lucky guess…

AZUL: Well, you look similar in age to me, so it was easy to infer. I will say this, though: finding out you stopped being eleven over 22 years ago really makes you start to consider the downsides of MUNCHLAXen Syndrome by DEOXYS…

GRUNT: Uh-huh… anyway, whatcha doin’ here, dude? Spyin’ on my radical assignment for my all dat criminal organisation?

AZUL: Oh… nah, I’m just a little lost in trying to find my way out. All these tunnels look the same… it’s like I’m in an episode of Professor Qui or something!

GRUNT: Yeah? You’re totally lost, and no-one knows where you’re jammin’?

AZUL: Pretty much.

The GRUNT laughs menacingly, prompting AZUL to laugh innocently.

GRUNT: This is gonna be, like, so easy!

AZUL: Oh, you wanna have a POKéMON BATTLE? Sure, I’m game!

The song “Battle! (Rocket)” from Pokémon Gold & Silver starts playing.

AZUL: Wait a minute… isn’t this playing a few years early?

GRUNT: Uh… dude, Gen II came out, like, over 20 years ago an’ junk.

AZUL stares vacantly at the GRUNT.

GRUNT: Uh… dude?

AZUL: Hm? Hm? Oh… sorry, I just got lost in your eyes. What’s “coming out”…?

GRUNT: Ugh… why are the cute ones always so naïve? Send out your POKéMON, or you, like, forfeit and stuff!

AZUL: Alright then… Come on out, NI-

AZUL realises NIDO’s POKé BALL is missing.

AZUL: Uh… Ni! Ni! Ni! (etc.)

GRUNT: What are you-

AZUL: Just a pre-BATTLE warmup! Don’t wanna get SLEEPy in pre-BATTLE, right?

GRUNT: Uh-huh… while you do that… MONTY, let’s GO!

The GRUNT sends out an EKANS.

MONTY: ”GGGGGGGGG-wwwwwwwww”!

AZUL: In that case, I must find… a shrubbery!

AZUL grabs SAUR’s POKé BALL.

AZUL: Aha! SAUR, let’s do the thing!

AZUL throws SAUR’s POKé BALL. A text box appears that reads “Nothing happened!”

AZUL: Oh, KARP…

GRUNT: Well, looks like I’m the victor. Get ready, bud…

AZUL: Ready for wh-

The GRUNT pulls a gas mask and a small orb vaguely resembling a KOFFING from his pocket. A MEOWTH gachapon toy, a GOLDEN BOTTLE CAP, and a BEAUTY CONTEST RIBBON fall out of the same pocket.

AZUL: Ah, I love references to-

GRUNT: Think fast!

AZUL: My I.Q. i-

The GRUNT slams the orb to the ground, kicking up a cloud of gas that overwhelms AZUL.

AZUL: -szzzzzzzzz…

AZUL slinks to the ground, unconscious. A text box appears that reads “AZUL blacked out!”

GRUNT: Looks like we got a new recruit… yeeesssss…

Scene 2: ROUTE 4

ROUGE, SAUR, NIDO, and GARETH walk along ROUTE 4.

ROUGE: I just don’t see how he could’ve-

A truck zooms past the party, flipping SAUR onto her back and enraging GARETH.

GARETH: Hey, watch it! You coulda TACKLEd into m-

ROUGE looks at GARETH.

GARETH: -us! You okay, SIS?

ROUGE nods.

GARETH: Good. Sheesh… what the HAIL kinda cargo does that maniac have in their truck, anyway?

We cut to a view inside the truck, where we see AZUL bound and gagged. As he wakes up, a PARASECT approaches, causing him to freak out. The PARASECT shakes its body, creating a faint jingling sound as it releases a mass of SPOREs that fills the whole truck, overwhelming AZUL as he slips back into a deep sleep. The view pans to the driver, the ROCKET GRUNT from before, wearing the gas mask, as he makes a short, sharp chuckle. The scene then zooms to the outer wall of the van, where we see a logo that reads “CLIFF’S HANGARS”.

Scene 1: CERULEAN CITY

ROUGE and GARETH arrive in CERULEAN CITY.

GARETH: We made it out of that GAME FREAKin’ cave… now what’s the fastest way home? Back through the cave?

ROUGE: Gareth, don’t be obtuse!

GARETH: How many times have I told you not to use math words as insults?!

ROUGE: We have bigger things at stake than running home like yellow-bellied cowards, Hypotenuse!

AZUL’s voice: Did someone say “Yellow”…?

GARETH: There ya go, Chromosome, AZUL’s fine.

BARRY’s voice: Did someone say “Fine”…?!

DAWN’s voice: Wrong chapter, Bareth!

BARRY’s voice: My bad!

ROUGE: Um… Gareth?

GARETH: Yo! We’re over here!

GARETH waves at AZUL, who approaches.

ROUGE: Gareth…

GARETH: Wait… is that a PIKACHU on his shoulder?

ROUGE: Gareth, for the love of-

GARETH: YES! I knew he’d abandon his foolish PURSUIT to specialise in POISON-type Po-

AZUL: C’mon, RANI!

GARETH: Aaand he has a NIDORAN♀… never mind.

AZUL: Actually, I’m a “they,” not a “he,” but I’ll let it slide this one time.

GARETH: You mean you’ve turned into a non-BINACLE?

AZUL: “Non-binary.”

GARETH: Since when?

AZUL: Since LGBTQIA+ Club at VIRIDIAN ACADEMY.

GARETH: You mean I was using male pronouns all that time like a huge jerk? Why didn’t you tell me, dude?! I-I mean… what’s the gender-neutral word for-

AZUL: It’s fine, haha!

BARRY’s voice: Okay, I definitely heard someone say it that time!

DAWN’s voice: For the last time, Barold, this is the wrong chapter!

BARRY’s voice: Eh, whatever, let’s just head for the PORT. It’s a P10,000,000 fine for you if we’re late! Now Let’s Go, Go, Go, Lady Berlitz!

DAWN’s voice: Stop calling me that!

GARETH: Wow, those two must have issues…

ROUGE: They’re not the only ones… I’m sorry about my brother here.

AZUL: No sweat, haha! Right, PIKA?

PIKA: Pi-KA-chu!

ROUGE: Anyway, I’m Rouge.

GARETH: Uh… why are you introducin’ yourself to… them?

ROUGE: Because this is how you meet people, Gareth.

GARETH: “Meet?” ROUGE, we already know who they are!

AZUL: Wait… do we know each other?

GARETH: Oh no… you must have bonked your head in that CAVE and given yourself AMNESIA!

AZUL: Cave…? I’ve been in CERULEAN for the past two days.

GARETH: No, we were in PEWTER two days ago! Don’t you remember?

AZUL: Oooookay… starting to think you have me confused with someone else.

GARETH: Someone else…? I think I’d recognise my best friend-SLASH-rival, don’t you, AZUL?

AZUL: “AZUL?” No, no… my name’s CASEY.

GARETH: You mean you changed your name, too? Why?!

ROUGE: Nice to meet you, CASEY.

CASEY: Likewise, ROUGE.

GARETH: Okay, could someone please explain to me why AZUL’s name, pronouns, and dialogue colour have changed to completely different ohh…

ROUGE: Took ya long enough, heehee!

GARETH: Well, why didn’tcha tell me?!

ROUGE: I can’t hold your hand all the way, Gareth. What do I look like, our big sister Daisy or something?

GARETH: Eh, whatevs. I’m gonna head up to the CAPE. Apparently there’s some weirdo who’s trying to build a TELEPORTER like the one in that movie The FLYGON. ROUGE! CASEY! Smell ya later!

GARETH heads up north.

CASEY: “Smell ya later”?

ROUGE: He’s stuck in the ‘90s.

CASEY: Isn’t everyone in the Generation I KANTOverse stuck in the ‘90s?

ROUGE: True… I don’t think I’ve met anyone in other dimensions.

CASEY: My friend Mikey is a Generation 7 KANTOversal.

ROUGE: Wait… you’re friends with Mikael Chase? The Bug-type Gym Leader in the Minors Division?

CASEY: Only our whole lives!

ROUGE: Eeeeek! This is exciting! Is it true what they say about his… y’know…?

CASEY: Well… it-

ROUGE: Wait… where did SAUR go?

Scene 2: ROUTE 4

SAUR is happily eating from a BERRY bush.

SAUR: “Grr-BWA-brr!”

Suddenly, a HUMANSHAPE shadow slowly approaches SAUR from behind.

To be Continued…

Scene 3: ROUTE 24

GARETH cheers after winning the fifth battle in the NUGGET BRIDGE CHALLENGE.

GARETH: Heh! I win! Still, that was a good effort on your part, KEVIN.

“KEVIN”: My name is ETHAN.

GARETH: I’ll never forget the expert skill you used together with your GROWLITHE.

ETHAN: MANKEY.

GARETH: A true clash of the FIRE-types!

ETHAN: FIGHTING-type.

GARETH: Silly KEVIN! GROWLITHE are FIRE-type… and sometimes ROCK-type, according to my grandfather, PROFESSOR SAMUEL OAK.

ETHAN: Wait… you’re OAK’s grandson?!

GARETH: Yeah!

ETHAN: I s’pose his genius doesn’t run in the family, does it?

GARETH: Hey! I’ll have you know my twin sister is way smarter than him! Plus, I inherited his prowess for POKéMON FIGHTS!

ETHAN: So she got the brains, and you got the brawn?

GARETH: Yeah!

ETHAN: Is she gonna do this challenge, too?

GARETH shrugs.

GARETH: I ‘unno… it’s a free country.

ETHAN: Region.

GARETH: Heheheh… you said “region.”

ETHAN: Aaand I’m bored… go talk to that guy and collect your prize before I puke.

GARETH: Whatever… KEVIN! Smell ya later!

GARETH walks toward “that guy.”

ETHAN: You’re the one who stinks!

GARETH’s thoughts: What a nice kid… I can’t wait to see his progress as a TRAINER!

GARETH reaches “that guy.”

GARETH: Okay, make wit’ da goods a’ready!

THAT GUY: Conglaturation! A winner is you!

GARETH gasps.

GARETH: I don’t believe it…

Scene 4: CERULEAN CITY

ROUGE and CASEY stand near NUGGET BRIDGE.

CASEY: Well, if we see him, we’ll let you know, right, Fam?

PIKA: Pika-pika!

RANI’s voice: “Prw-AAA-prw!”

NIDO’s voice: “Gr-AAAAA-gr!”

RANI’s voice: “Prw-AAA-prw!”

NIDO’s voice: “Gr-AAAAA-gr!”

RANI’s voice: “Prw-AAA-prw!”

RANI and NIDO continue to chitter in the background.

CASEY: What are you gonna do?

ROUGE: I think I’ll give the Nugget Bridge Challenge a go…

CASEY: Ace! Okay, time to head to the TRAINER cruise in VERMILION CITY!

PIKA: “Pi-Pikachu!”

NIDO’s voice: “Gr-AAAAA-gr!”

RANI’s voice: “Prw-AAA-prw!”

NIDO’s voice: “Gr-AAAAA-gr!”

CASEY and PIKA walk out of frame.

CASEY: Let’s Go, RANI!

RANI quickly bounds toward CASEY.

CASEY’s voice: Ooh, whatcha got there, girl?

RANI’s voice: “Prw-AAA-prw!”

The “EGG get!” jingle suddenly plays.

CASEY’s voice: Huh… I wonder where this came from…?

ROUGE: Aight, now for th-

GARETH dashes toward ROUGE.

ROUGE: Darn it, Gareth! We were supposed to try the challenge as a tag team!

GARETH: No time for that now, Sis! You’ll never guess in a million light-years who I just found!

ROUGE: Darn it, POOPERPOTION! Light-years aren’t DIALGA, they measure PALKIA!

GARETH: I said there’s no time! Now do you wanna know who I found or not?!

ROUGE: Unless it’s Azul and/or SAUR, I really couldn’t care less right now, Bro…

GARETH: SAUR’s missing?!

ROUGE: Apparently… I’m sure she’s fine, though. She probably went Berry-picking on Route 4 or something.

GARETH: Dammit, ROGUE ONE! You had one job!

ROUGE: Well, come on then, Gareth. Tell me who you found.

GARETH: Oh, I’ll tell you… if you can beat me in a POKéMON FIGHT! I choose you, PIDGEY!

GARETH sends out PIDGEY.

“PIDGEY”: “Kweh-chirrrrrp-CHEEP!”

ROUGE: Uh… Gareth? PIDGEY evolved into PIDGEOTTO!

GARETH: Oh, I wondered why it’s POKé BALL was glowing and SPARKling after beating that KEVIN kid and his GROWLITHE…

ROUGE: Well, this should be a cinch… CLEF! It’s time to dance, sweetie!

ROUGE sends out a CLEFAIRY.

CLEF: “PIP-piiiii!”

GARETH: Whaaaaat?! No fair! I scoured the whole of MT. MOON for the FAIRY’s Secret Sanctum so I could catch one of those CLEFAIRYs!

ROUGE: Then why didn’t you catch the one that dropped NIDO’s Poké Ball?

GARETH: Because… shut up! That’s why! PIDGEY… OTTO, use GUST!

ROUGE’s thoughts: Classic Gareth, teehee…

To be Continued…

Scene 5: CERULEAN CITY GYM

ROUGE and GARETH enter the local GYM.

GARETH: All I’m sayin’ is I would’ve won if that PIPSQUEAK were on my team!

ROUGE: For the last time, Gareth, CLEF is a Clefairy, not a “Pippi.”

GARETH: But… Gramps told me-

ROUGE: He also told you his Nidorino was a Nidorina, and that every Tauros is named Ken.

GARETH: Then… every MILTANK isn’t named BARBELLA?

ROUGE: Besides, CLEF wasn’t the only one of my Pokéfriends in that battle.

GARETH: No, but that frickin’ SING attack put all my Pokémon to sleep!

ROUGE: I know… his vocal skill is impressive, teehee!

GARETH: That thing’s a guy?!

MISTY: Hi, you’re a new f-

LEADER MISTY’s eyes bulge.

MISTY: Oh… my… ARKOOS…

GARETH: Uh-oh…

MISTY: GARETH DARWINIUS OAK?!

GARETH: Gotta go!

GARETH races out of the GYM.

MISTY: Come back here! You still owe me a BIKE VOUCHER after what you did to my f-

ROUGE sighs.

ROUGE: That moron…

MISTY: Oh… you two know each other?

ROUGE: You could say that… I’m his fraternal twin sister, Rouge.

MISTY: ROUGE, huh?

ROUGE: Eh, close enough.

MISTY: Wow, I feel sorry for you… are the two of you close?

ROUGE: Well, he’s probably halfway to Saffron City by now, so technically no…

MISTY: Still, I guess I got off easy. At least I don’t have to live with him…

ROUGE: Believe it or not, he wasn’t this obnoxious growing up.

MISTY: I find that hard to believe…

ROUGE laughs.

ROUGE: Pretty sure it’s a phase.

MISTY: For the past decade-and-a-half?

ROUGE: Fair… so what’d he do to you?

MISTY sighs.

MISTY: That boy broke my heart… and my fence.

ROUGE: When?

MISTY: My heart? A decade-and-a-half ago, when we were students at EARL’S ACADEMY.

ROUGE: Wait… you’re thirty… something?!

MISTY smirks.

MISTY: I look good for my age, right? Plus, d’you really think the LEAGUE’d let a kid run a POKéMON GYM?

ROUGE: A kid? Sure. A Gareth? Well…

MISTY laughs.

MISTY: My fence? A few hours ago, give-or-take whatever passes for time in KANTO.

ROUGE: Uh… he and I were halfway between Mt. Moon and Cerulean then.

MISTY: Really? Then… who the f-

Scene 6: CERULEAN CITY

We see the ROCKET GRUNT who kidnapped AZUL hidden in a backyard in CERULEAN.

ROCKET: Heheheh… first that TWERP, an’ now a totes rad TM 28… errythin’s comin’ up BILLY!

Scene 1: FUCHSIA CITY

ROUGE and CASEY enter the SAFARI ZONE.

ROUGE: Wow, I can’t believe those weirdoes Billy and Kid stole three whole episodes of this series…

CASEY: You think they’re bonkers, just wait’ll you hear about these two other morons and their talking MEOWTH who keep trying to steal PIKA…

ROUGE: I’m… sorry, I must’ve misheard. Did you say they-

CASEY: -keep trying to steal PIKA? Yup, I sure did.

PIKA: “Pikaka…”

PIKA’s cheeks crackle with electricity.

CASEY: He doesn’t like it when I say the word.

ROUGE: Right… see, that’s not what baffles me.

CASEY: Well, surely you can’t mean you’re confused about the fact that their… “”… can talk.

ROUGE: I’d say any Pokémon that can speak a HUMAN language is a pretty big deal!

CASEY: Didn’t you say your still mysteriously absent friend ABDUL can translate POKéSPEAK?

ROUGE: His name’s Azul. And yes, I did, but he’s who-knows-where at this point in whatever passes for time in Kanto…

AZUL’s voice: At last… we’ve arrived in FUTURE CITY, fam!

FLAREON’s voice: “BRWAH-pfft!”

ROUGE: I… don’t… believe it…

CASEY: I’m serious! He really can speak like a-

ROUGE: Azul!

ROUGE runs in the direction of AZUL.

CASEY: Well… that was rude.

PIKA: “CHUCHA pipika…?”

CASEY: That way, I think. Shall we follow her?

PIKA smiles.

PIKA: “Pi!”

CASEY: Alright! Hey, Rouge, wait up!

PIKA clings tightly to CASEY as they race offscreen.

PIKA: “CHUCHA!”

***
AZUL is chatting with someone near a CHANSEY enclosure.

AZUL: We’ll let her know if we see her, ERIK.

ERIK: ‘preesh.

AZUL and ERIK fist bump as he walks away.

AZUL: Wow, I’ve always wanted to dab with a mysterious guy named ERIK in front of an egg-shaped lucksack…

ROUGE’s voice: Azuuuuul!

AZUL: Hm? Hm?!

AZUL sees ROUGE approach.

AZUL: I don’t believe it…

ROUGE laughs as she approaches AZUL. Suddenly, a FLAREON TACKLEs and pins her to the ground, growling.

AZUL: Wait, PYRO! This is the one for whom we’ve searched!

The FLAREON sniffs ROUGE. He smiles and licks her cheek.

ROUGE: Uh… I’m a little confused right now…

“PYRO” looks at AZUL.

PYRO: “BORWAH-pfft?”

AZUL: No, that’s her brother GARETH. This one’s nice.

PYRO leaps off and bows in apology.

ROUGE: So… this is your Flareon friend?

AZUL: Yep! SAUR and I met him in CELADON CITY when he was still an EEVEE. I asked him what he wanted to evolve into, and FLAREON was his third choice, so I bought him a FIRE STONE from WISEA** GIFTS.

ROUGE: Isn’t it Wiseman Gifts…?

AZUL: Oh… I thought GARETH was wrong.

ROUGE: Waitwaitwait… you’ve seen Gareth?! And you reunited with SAUR?! What the Haxorus?!

AZUL: Yes, yes, and not ‘til the UNOVA Arc.

ROUGE: Tell me everything! Oh, but try to keep it short.

AZUL: Well, firstly, BEN’s fine, thanks for asking. He’s getting married next SUMMER in NIMBASA CITY. And we’re both invited!

ROUGE: Ooh, I love weddings!

AZUL: As for the tl;dr: SAUR was rescued by the POKéMON SHELTER in CERULEAN; I got her back once I proved I was her TRAINER; we crossed a BRIDGE when we came to it; we befriended a WEEDLE and named him BEED; we befriended a POLIWHIRL and named her POLI; then we crossed another BRIDGE when we came to it, and now we’re here. You?

ROUGE: Oh… not as eventful, believe me…

ROUGE’s thoughts: Now’s not the time to tell him that NIDO was stolen by a pair of degenerate Team Rocket Grunts…

AZUL: Oh, and I got NIDO back from a pair of degenerate TEAM ROCKET GRUNTs! Can you believe it?

ROUGE: Oh, thank goodness… I-I mean… thank goodness!

AZUL: Wanna see?

AZUL tosses his other POKéMONs’ POKé BALLs into the air. SAUR has evolved into an IVYSAUR, NIDO is now a fully-evolved NIDOKING, BEED is apparently a BEEDRILL, and POLI looks nothing like a POLIWHIRL.

SAUR: “GBWAH-bububuh!”

NIDO: “Ggggghaaaaa-GGGGGHKEEEEE!”

BEED: “BbbbbggggghhhhHHHHGGGGGBBBBB!”

POLI: (Incomprehensible dialogue)

ROUGE: Uh… that’s one… interesting Poliwhirl, Azul.

AZUL: Oh, I traded POLI to SAUR’s rescuer’s grandfather. Can you believe she evolved into a POLITOED? They don’t even exist yet!

ROUGE: Then… who’s this?

AZUL: ROUGE, meet LOLA the JYNX, the first POKéMON I’ve ever met whose speech I can’t understand even a little bit.

LOLA: (Incomprehensible dialogue)

AZUL: Fascinating…

ROUGE: I thought you said you can’t understand her…

AZUL: That’s what’s so fascinating!

SAUR: “GBWAH-bububuh!”

AZUL: Neither can they.

ROUGE: Wow, talk about a language barrier…

AZUL: Actually, that’s MR. MIME. Totally different species.

LOLA: (Incomprehensible dialogue)

NIDO: “Ggggghaaaaa-GGGGGHKEEEEE!”

AZUL: Wait… really?

NIDO nods.

AZUL: NIDO says you have his daughter in your team…?

ROUGE: Oh yeah! Casey traded her to me!

AZUL: Who’s CASEY?

ROUGE: Long story… actually, where is Casey…?

Scene 2: SAFARI GAME

CASEY is inside a REST HOUSE in the SAFARI GAME.

SARA: I’ll let her know if I see her, CASEY.

CASEY: ‘preesh.

PIKA: “Cha chuuuuu!”

To be Continued…