Octanner no Monogatari: A Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion Fan-Fiction by GeekyGamerZack

Scene 1: Cephalon HQ: Night

DJ Octavio: Hachi...? But...why?!

Hachi looks at DJ Octavio.

Hachi: Watashi wa okiniiri janaikara! (Because I'm not the favourite!)

Hachi pulls off her sunglasses, throws them to the ground, then crushes them with the heel of her boot.

Hachi: And now, I'm leaving with these two gaijin!

Hachi grabs "Squigley" and Squilma's hands and leads them through the hatch. She stops and turns to look at DJ Octavio.

Hachi: And my name's NOT Hachi, mmkay? It's-

The hatch suddenly slams shut.

Hachi: Oh, just as I was about to have my big moment...

Squilma: I...why did you save us...?

Hachi: Because I'm NOT under his control! That scum deserves to be splatted for good!

"Squigley": Whoa...my head...

"Squigley" leans against a wall and slowly slinks to the ground, before changing to octopus form.

Squilma: Squiggles!

Squilma squats next to Squigley.

Squilma: Are you okay?

"Squigley" nods.

"Squigley": Yeah, just a little tired...

Hachi: Understandable, considering what you went through.

Squilma looks at Hachi.

Squilma: Well, why didn't you stop him?

Hachi: It's...hard to explain.

Squilma: What, you thought it'd be funny to see him turn into one of...of...you?!

Hachi: I couldn't because...he said not to.

Squilma: Who? Octavio?

Hachi shakes her head.

Hachi: I can't explain right now. Please, just trust me.

Squilma: How do I know you're not leading us into a trap?

Hachi: You need proof? Very well...

Hachi pulls an octophone seemingly from nowhere.

Squilma: I didn't know those uniforms hadd pockets...

Hachi: They don't.

Squilma: Then how-

Hachi taps on her phone's screen. The Calamari Inkantation begins to play. Hachi headbangs to the beat and begins to sing.

Hachi: ♫Ya weni marei mirekyarahire
Juri yu mirekerason

Kire hyari yoriherahe nyurahera
Nunnyura unera yurawera nyimerani

Hachi pauses the song. Squilma's eyes widen.

Squilma: You were touchd by the heavenly melody?

Hachi: Yes. You can thank the New Squidbeak Splatoon for freeing me, as well as countless other Octarians...well, FORMER Octarians.

Squilma's left eye squints.

Squilma: Then why let Squigley be transformed?

"Squigley" suddenly inks himself, though the ink puddle is green rather than aqua.

"Squigley": Sorry about that...

Squilma: It's fine. Save your strength. You'll need it for when we make our escape.

Hachi: Curious...his ink puddle is green.

Squilma stares at the puddle on the ground.

Squilma's thoughts: It must be residual ink from his Inkling form...maybe...?

Squilma: Hachi? Please carry Squigley out of this place.

Hachi: Of course, Agent 4-san.

Hachi lifts "Squigley" onto her shoulders.

Hachi: Ready, Octugley-kun?

"Squigley": Yeah.

Hachi begins to head for the exit.

Oh, but please don't call me that.

Hachi: Oh...um...Octugley-san?

"Squigley": No, I meant...uh, never mind.

Hachi: Are you following, Agent 4-san?

Squilma: Yeah, be right there!

Squilma snaps on a pair of yellow rubber gloves.

Squilma's thoughts: I can't believe I'm doing this...ew...

To be Continued...

Scene 2: Ate & Switch: Morning

Eight weeks later (give-or-take)...

Squilma sits at a table. She is picking at a plate of wakame. Squilma sighs.

Inklein's voice: What's wrong, Wilma?

Squilma looks up at Inklein.

Squilma: Oh, hey, Inklein. Wait...where's Inklinda?

Inklein: Who?

Squilma: You know...Lindie?

Inklein's eyes widen.

Inklein: Oh, she's just parking the pool.

Squilma: Parking the-

Squilma shakes her head.

Squilma: Never mind.

Squilma sighs again. Inklein sits down.

Inklein: What's wrong, Wilma?

Squilma looks at Inklein.

Squilma: I really miss Squigley...

Inklein: Aw, that's so sad. Was he your pet?

Squilma's left eye squints.

Squilma: What?

Inklein: Squigley sounds like a pet's name, right?

Squilma: Look, Inklein-

Inklein: Did he run away? Or was he taken to a farm upstate?

Inklein gasps.

Inklein: Oh no! Is he-

Squilma: WIGGLES! I'm talking about Wiggles!

Inklein: Oh...

Inklein giggles.

Inklein: Silly Wilma! Wiggles isn't a pet! Silly Wilma!

Squilma: For the love of-

Squilma sighs for a third time.

Squilma: Wiggles went on vacation a couple months ago. He said he'll be back "when he's ready", okay?

Inklinda's voice: Who the fresh is "Wiggles"...?

Squilma looks at Inklinda.

Squilma: Oh, hey, Inklinda. I was just trying to explain to Inklein that I miss Squigley.

Inklinda: I know what you mean. I can't stop thinking about him...

Squilma: Wait...do you...like-like Squigley?

Inklinda's left eye squints.

Inklinda: What? Why the fresh would you think THAT?

Squilma: Then...you're NOT interested in him?

Inklinda: Of COURSE not! You think I like-like him? Yeah right! More like HE like-likes ME or whatever.

Squilma laughs.

Squilma: What? That's ridiculous! The Great Za-

Squilma pauses.

Squilma: Sorry, force of habit. But seriously, Squigley isn't interested in you!

Inklinda: Oh? Are you SURE about that?

Squilma: Of COURSE I am! Besides, it wouldn't work out, would it?

Inklinda: I know what you mean. ME dating an OCTOLING? Daddy would cut my allowance if I did THAT!

Squilma rolls her eyes.

Squilma: It's nice to know that you care about things other than yourself, Lindie...besides, he's still the same Squigley!

Inklein: Yeah. You're so smart, Wilma...

Squilma grins.

Squilma: That's what people keep telling me!

Inklinda: And even if I DID like-like him, I can't, because I, like, already HAVE a boyfriend or whatever.

Squilma: You do?

Squilma slowly looks at Inklein.

Squilma's thoughts: No freshing WAY...

Voice: Um...hello? Agent 4?

Squilma turns to look at Hachi. She is wearing casual clothing, and her tentacles are yellow. Squilma stands.

Squilma: Hachi? Is that you?

Hachi smiles and nods.

Hachi: Yes. It is good to see you again.

Squilma: Likewise.

Hachi sees Inklinda and Inklein.

Hachi: Oh, are these your friends?

Inklinda: I wouldn't call us "friends", per se. We're more like close personal acquaintances or whatever.

Inklein: And I'm a fry cook!

Squilma: Oh, right! This is Inklinda Squatson and Inklein. I...don't know his last name.

Hachi smiles and bows.

Hachi: Hajimemashite. (Nice to meet you.)

Inklinda: Uh...hi?

Inklein: Hajimemashite. (Nice to meet you.)

Inklein bows.

Inklinda: You speak Octarian, honey?

Inklein: I do?

Inklinda sighs.

Hachi: My name is Takozonesu Octabigail.

Inklinda: Long name. Is there, like, something else we can call you?

"Hachi": Well...some people call me "Octabby".

Inklein: Tabby? You mean like Judd? Are you half-puss?

Squilma: Don't mind Inklein. He's a few shrimp short of a cocktail.

Octabby giggles.

Squilma: So where have you been? I haven't seen you since you were taken away by Ally-Squinn!

Octabby: It's a long story...say, where's Squigley?

Squilma: It's a long story...

Inklein looks at Inklinda.

Inklein: Hey, how come you made Wilma think I was your boyfriend...?

Inklinda: It's, like, a long story or whatever...

To be Continued...

Scene 3: Wahoo World: Morning

We see "Squigley" holding a weapon similar to a Splattershot in the middle of Wahoo World, a popular seaside amusement park. The scene flashes for a brief moment.

Voice: All done!

Seth walks into view and hands "Squigley" an octophone.

"Squigley": Thanks.

Seth: Hey, no problem. So you live in Inkopolis too?

"Squigley": Uh...yeah, I do.

Seth: So what do you think of it? I'm sure it's very different to where you USED to live, right?

"Squigley": I...wouldn't know, since I don't remember where I used to live.

Seth's eyes widen.

Seth: Seriously?

"Squigley": Yeah. It's fine, though. I've made a bunch of friends, and they're all so nice...well, Inklinda can be...actually, never mind.

Seth's left eye squints.

Seth: You're friends with Inklinda Squatson?

"Squigley": Yeah, I guess so.

Seth: And Inklein?

Squigley grins.

"Squigley": Yeah. He's awesome!

Seth: Then...do you know-

Seth pauses.

"Squigley": Who?

Seth: Do you know Ally-Squinn Maki?

"Squigley" thinks.

"Squigley": Hm...nope, doesn't ring a bell.

Seth: Oh, you'd LOVE her. She's AMAZING!

"Squigley": I'll take your word for it.

Seth: Yeah! Hey, we should TOTALLY hang out sometime. I'll introduce you!

"Squigley": I think I'd like that.

Seth: Cool. Say, what's your name?

"Squigley": It's Squi-

"Squigley" pauses.

"Squigley": Um...Octu-

"Squigley's" thoughts: Nope, "Octugley" isn't gonna work...stoopid Octavio...

"Squigley": Um...call me "Octanner".

Seth: Octanner, huh? That's an AMAZING name!

Octanner grins.

Octanner: Thanks.

Seth: Well...uh...d'you wanna head over to Ate & Switch?

Octanner: Yeah, I guess I do. I need to catch up with Squilma.

Seth: You know Squilma? Is there anyone you DON'T know?

Squika lands on Octanner's head.

Seth: SQUIKA! What are you doing?!

Squika: I wanted to surprise my dear friend Squigley!

Seth: Well, you can't! Squigley went back to his own time MONTHS ago!

Octanner's thoughts: Wait...what is Seth talking about...?

Squika: Don't be absurd, bruh! Squigley is RIGHT HERE!

Octanner's thoughts: Squika, what are you-

Seth: Well, all I see is my silly twin and my new Octoling friend. Oh, Octanner, this is my...uh...Squika.

Octanner: Oh, we've met.

Squika: Yes, but then you left me behind while you went on your vacation, just like Seth-Inkley here. But now you're both home! YAY!

Octanner giggles.

Octanner: I missed you too, Squika.

Squika begins to sob.

Squika: Aw, you're so nice, Squiggles...

Seth's left eye squints.

Seth's thoughts: Okay, HOW do you get "Squiggles" from a name like Octanner...?

To be Continued...

Scene 4: Ate & Switch: Afternoon

Ally, Squilma, Inklinda and Inklein sit at a table.

Squilma: So...any reason you invited us here, Ally-Squinn?

Ally: Yeah, there is.

Inklinda: Wait...why am I here? I have better things to do right now or whatever.

Ally: Well, Seth called and said he met a friend of yours at Wahoo World.

Squilma's eyes widen.

Squilma: Squigley?!

Ally shakes her head.

Ally: No, it's someone I haven't met. Some guy named Octanner.

Squilma's left eye squints.

Squilma: What? I don't know anyone named-

Inklein: Wiggles!

Squilma looks at Inklein.

Squilma: What are you talking about, Inkle-butt?

Inklein points at the door.

Inklein: Wiggles just walked in with Purple Squika!

Squilma's left eye squints even further.

Squilma: I think you've lost your Power Eggs...

Octanner's voice: Hey, everyone.

Squilma's eyes widen as she looks at Octanner.

Squilma: Squiggles! You're back!

Octanner smiles.

Octanner: Yep! I-

Squilma leaps off her chair and hugs Octanner.

Seth: Hey, what am I, chopped Leever?

Inklein giggles.

Inklein: Silly Purple Squika! That's not a SEA pun, it's a ZELDA pun! Silly Purple Squika.

Squilma lets go of Octanner and looks at Seth.

Squilma: Nice to see you, Seth-Inkley. Say...where's Squika? And how did you get here so fast?

Seth: Oh, he's parking the car. We took the carpool lane to get here.

Squilma: Nice.

Ally: Hold up...Seth, you said you were bringing a guy named Octanner, right?

Seth: Yeah?

Ally: Then why is Squigley here instead of him?

Seth laughs.

Seth: Don't be silly, Ally! Squigley returned to his own time!

Inklinda sighs.

Inklinda's thoughts: I think he's been spending too much time hanging out with Inkle-butt...

Ally: No, Seth. This is Squigley.

Ally gestures to Octanner.

Seth: No, it CAN'T be. Squigley's an Inkling. This? This is an Octoling.

Inklinda: Like, what's the difference?

Seth: Well, a different number of tentacles, for one. But that's not the point: this can't be Squigley because he's-

Octanner: Actually, I AM Squigley. Well...used to be, anyway...

Squilma: Used to be...?

Ally: Squigley...

Octanner: I figure that I'm a new person now. In a sense, I've been reborn...given a fresh start...so I renamed myself.

Octanner raises his hand.

Octanner: Hi! I'm Octanner, an Inkopolitan Octoling.

Inklinda: But...you're still...YOU, right?

Octanner: Oh, don't get me wrong. I may be different on the outside, but inside I'm still the same guy. I've just been given a new coat of ink.

Squilma and Ally smile. Inklinda makes a slight smile.

Ally: Well said...

Ally's thoughts: ...but it's only temporary, right...? I mean...your future self has been restored to Inkling form...we just need to figure out how to change you back...

Scene 5: Ammo Knights: Afternoon

We see a view of Ammo Knights. Multiple electric blue flashes are seen, each coupled with the sound of electrical zaps.

Sheldon's voice: I've...I've succeeded! This new device may be the answer we've been seeking! Uh-oh...

We see a brief zap, followed by a squishy plop sound. Callie walks through the front door and approaches the back room, a brown paper bag in her hand.

Callie: Shelly! I brought you a bag of freshly-cooked crabby-

Callie looks into the back room and drops the bag. She calls out.

Callie: Uh...Marie? I think Sheldon's been eaten by a Kraken...

To be Continued...

Scene 6: Ate & Switch: Evening

Octanner, Octabby, Ally, Seth, Squilma, Squika, Inklinda and Inklein sit at a table, a huge ice-cream sundae in front of each of them.

Inklein: Hey...I just realised something.

Inklinda: I find that hard to believe...

Squilma: What is it, Inklein?

Inklein: There are eight main characters in this scene! It's the largest group in a single scene to date!

Inklinda: Yeah? So?

Squika: Well, the writer IS trying to emphasise a theme of the number 8, right?

Octanner: Yeah, but I think it was just a happy coincidence in this case...

Squilma: But isn't it hard to write dialogue for more than a handful of characters at once?

Inklein giggles.

Inklein: Silly Wilma! You can't fit characters in a person's hand, they're too BIG! Silly Wilma!

Ally: Squilma's right. I mean, odds are that not everyone will be able to speak before this scene finishes.

Seth opens his mouth to speak.

Callie's voice: Squilma! Ally!

Callie and Marie run up to the table.

Squilma: What's wrong, Callie?

Callie: No time to speak! Hurry!

Marie: Callie, I think it's-

Callie: Not now, Marie! We need to-

Callie pauses for a ridiculously long time.

Octanner: Uh...Callie?

Callie: Not now, Squidley! You need to come NOW!

Octanner: Wait...didn't you say you needed-

Callie: Squidley, please! You and Squilma and Ally and the Veemo and maybe Squika need to come RIGHT NOW!

Octabby: M-Me...? Really?

Squika: Ooh, I'm being included? Goody!

Inklein giggles.

Inklein: Silly Squeaky! You're not a-

Callie: Come on! Hurry up, already!

Marie: (Overreacting as usual...)

Octanner: Uh...right.

Octanner, Octabby, Ally, Squilma and Squika follow Callie out of the store. Marie looks at Seth, Inklinda and Inklein.

Inklinda: Wait...why the fresh weren't WE included?

Marie: Honestly? No idea. I try to let my cousin do her own thing...

Marie's thoughts: ...which MAY have been a mistake that one time...

Inklein: Well, at least we all got to say something during this scene.

Squam's voice: Hey, Inklein! Your preordered copy of Squidkid 2: Return of the Kidsquid just came in!

Inklein: YAY! Even SQUAM got to say something! AND I have a new game to play on my Swimtendo Switch!

Inklinda: Well, I guess it IS important for characters to be able to say lines in scenes or whatever...

Seth opens his mouth to speak.

Scene 7: Ammo Knights: Evening

Octanner, Octabby, Ally and Squilma follow Callie inside Ammo Knights.

Callie: Okay, Agents, it's time to brief you on your mission!

Octanner: Uh...Octabby and I aren't agents...

Octabby: Um...

Callie: Oh, right...well then, I guess it's not a MISSION but more of a-

We see a blue flash from the back room, followed by the sound of an electrical zap.

Sheldon's voice: I...I did it!

Callie: Sheldon? Is that you? Are you okay?!

Sheldon's voice: Oh, Agent 1!

Sheldon walks from the back room and steps on the brown paper bag.

Sheldon: Oh...um...

Callie: Oh, sorry, Shelly! I left your dinner on the floor!

Sheldon: It's quite alright, Agent-

Sheldon sees Octanner and Octabby.

Sheldon: I mean..."Callie".

Callie: So what happened? Did you use a gadget to cut your way out of that Kraken's stomach?

Sheldon: Kraken?

Callie: Yeah! There was a huge, slimy monster in the back room, right?

Sheldon: Actually, that was me.

Callie: You were turned into a Kraken?! That must've been HORRIBLE!

Ally: That scenario seems familiar...

Sheldon: What? No, I accidentally electrocuted myself and fell to the ground. I knocked a sheet of tarp over me, which snagged on a bucket of green slime and caused the tarp to become covered with the substance.

Callie: But it had tentacles! And it was writhing around!

Sheldon: Ah, those would have been the convulsions.

Callie: So...this whole thing was just a big misunderstanding...?

Sheldon: Yes indeed, Callie. Anyway, I managed to build something truly wonderful indeed!

***
The group stares at a machine that resembles the one DJ Octavio used to transform Squigley into Octanner.

Ally: What is it, Sheldon?

Sheldon: It's a transmutation reversal unit. I built it by reverse-engineering the device Inklein used to accidentally switch the bodies of Inklinda and Squika.

Squilma: I remember that...wait...wasn't Squika with us?

Ally: Hey, yeah...where IS he?

Squilma: Eh, I'm sure he'll turn up.

Sheldon: I also received some of the leftover parts from the v.21072017 iteration of Donburi Podd's restoration machine after it was successfully converted into a taffy machine.

Ally giggles.

Ally: Gee, I wonder who did THAT?

Sheldon: Basically, it will work to restore any Inkling whose physiology was altered using the energy of the tidemoon.

Ally and Squilma's eyes widen.

Squilma: We could use it to restore-

Ally: -Octobel!

Squilma's left eye squints.

Squilma: Who the fresh is Octobel?

Ally: Did...I say "Octobel"...? I meant Octanner!

Octanner ponders Ally's words.

Squilma: Yep! Squiggles can return to being the Inkling he was meant to be!

Sheldon: I'm afraid it's not quite that simple, Squilma. Without a sample of the subject's untampered ink, the machine will not work.

Ally: Then...Squigley's stuck like this?

Ally's thoughts: No...it CAN'T be...there must be another way...there HAS to be...

Squilma: Then are YOU in luck, Shelster?

Sheldon: What do you mean...?

Squilma: Well, when Octabby and I escaped from Octavio's lair with Squigley, I happened to salvage a sample of his ink!

Sheldon: Oh, that's wonderful, Squilma!

Squilma: How much do you need?

Sheldon: Oh, even a droplet is enough to restore him!

The girls cheer.

Ally: Perfect! Now things can get back to normal!

Squilma: You said it, Ally-Squinn!

Octabby smiles at Octanner.

Octabby: This is excellent to hear, right, Octanner?

Octanner: Uh...yeah, I guess it is...

Callie: Ooh, let's throw a party at The Shoal to celebrate! Squidley LOVES that place!

Squilma: Yeah, and we can invite all our friends!

Ally: Oh, this is going to be so much fun!

Octanner: Yeah...great...

Octanner stares at his feet.

Octanner's thoughts: This is getting confusing...am I an Inkling or an Octoling...? It'd be easier if I were both...

Scene 8: Tentakeel Outpost: Night

Squika awakens outside Cuttlefish Cabin. He sits up slightly and looks around.

Squika: What happened...?

Suddenly, a pair of black boots lands in front of him. Squika slowly looks up, revealing an Octopus Amazon.

Squika: Hey, you're one of those Taco Zesties, are you not...?

The Octopus Amazon scowls.

Octopus Amazon: Baka! Watashi wa Tako! (Idiot! I am an Octoling!)

Squika: Oh...my apologies.

Octopus Amazon: Baka ika! Anata wa watashi no imōto to nani o shimashita ka? (Idiot Inkling! What have you done with my sister?)

Scene 1: Ammo Knights: Afternoon

We see a view of Sheldon's face.

Sheldon: I've done it!

Inklinda's voice: Like, done what or whatever?

The scene cuts to a view of Octanner, Squilma, Inklinda, Octabby and Ally-Squinn standing next to a machine labelled "OC-2-SQUID MACHINE".

Sheldon: I have constructed a machine that should reconstitute Squigley's molinkular structure back to his original Inkling form!

Squilma: Uh...didn't you build this contraption four months ago?

Sheldon: Well, yes, but someone converted it into a toffee machine, and it's taken this long to fix it...

Squilma: Darn it, Squika!

Inklinda: Actually, I think Inklein's the one to blame for this.

Ally: And why would you assume that?

Inklinda: Because he's good with machines.

Squilma: He is?

Inklinda: And toffee is his favourite food. Plus, he begged me to let him do it.

The scene wipes to a view of Inklinda on her knees near Inklein and the machine.

Inklinda: PLEEEEEEEASE do this for me, Inklein!

Inklein: But wouldn't that be a bad thing?

Inklinda: I'll let you be my friend if you do!

Inklein: Silly Lindie! I'm ALREADY your friend! Silly Lindie!

Inklinda: And I'll buy you a small drink at The Crust Bucket with your employee discount!

Inklein whips out a wrench from thin air.

Inklein: Let's do this.

The scene wipes back to the present.

Squilma: Ooh, that Inkle-butt! His sugar lust knows no bounds!

Ally: I guess we can't blame Inklinda this time, can we? I mean, she hates sugar, so she has no motive to do this.

Inklinda: You, like, know me so well, Andi.

Ally: "Ally".

Inklinda: Yeah, Ally.

Inklinda's thoughts: They must never know I'm attracted to the new Squigley...

Octabby: You have been most quiet, Octanner-kun. Is something on your mind?

Octanner looks at Octabby.

Octanner: Hm? Yeah, I've spent months trying to decide if I want to change back.

Ally: What?!

Ally's thoughts: But...he HAS to be restored! Otherwise...

Octanner: And I've decided to do it.

Ally: I KNEW you would! I mean...um...woohoo...

Squilma: So hurry up already!

Octanner: Uh-

Squilma shoves Octanner into the machine and slams the door.

Squilma: Shelster! How do you start this thing?

Sheldon: You wish to activate it, Agent 4?

Squilma: Yep! I got Squiggles into this mess, so I'm gonna fix-

Inklein's voice: Hi, peeps! What's everyone doing next to the machine that Inklinda begged me to turn into a toffee maker?

Ally: Inklinda!

Inklinda: What? That's, like, ridiculous or whatever! HAHAHAHAHAInkleinyouaresosplattedwhenwegethome.

Inklein: Ooh, a big blue button!

Squilma: Inklein, no!

Inklinda: Inklein, yes!

Inklein presses the button. A splat sound is heard.

Squilma: Squiggles!

Octabby: Octanner-kun!

Octanner's voice: Uh...could someone please open the door...?

Squilma: Sheldon!

Sheldon: Uh...right.

Sheldon punches in a code, and the door opens. Octanner runs out, seemingly in a panic.

Ally: Squigley, what's wrong?

Octanner: Th-There's a...a THING in there!

Squilma: A...thing?

Squilma looks in the chamber. A toffee statue of Octanner's original Inkling form is inside.

Squilma: Uh...it's a toffee you...

Octanner: Yeah, but it talks!

Squilma: Squigley, it's a piece of ca-

Toffee Squigley: Hello? Is someone there? I can't hear you too well 'cause my ears are blocked by sticky goop. Also, my eyes seem to be glued shut, so I can't see you. Hello?

Everyone except Inklein is shocked.

Inklein: Wow...talking candy! I must be a genie, yes!

To be Continued...

Scene 2: Inkopolis Square: Afternoon

Octanner, Squilma, Inklinda, Inklein, Ally and Octabby stand with the toffee Squigley near The Crust Bucket.

Inklinda: So...why are we, like, standing outside with this thing or whatever?

Inklein: Because the sun's rays will soften up the toffee-

Ally: -which will, in turn-

Inklinda: Uh...I was talking to INKLEIN, not you, Princess.

Ally: All I'm saying is that Inklein is a genius!

Inklinda: Oooookay, I think someone needs to rehydrate...

Squilma: Actually, Inklein's been saying a LOT of intelligent things lately...

Inklein: Heheheh, Jellyfish look like jelly noodles with a jelly dumpling on top!

Squilma: ...though he usually follows up with a very Inklein turn of phrase.

Toffee Squigley: Okay, I'm starting to freak out!

Octanner: YOU'RE freaking out?!

Toffee Squigley: I mean, how long is it gonna take you to turn me into one of you, Octavio?!

Squilma's left eye squints.

Squilma: Did...it just mention Octavio...?

Inklein: Hm...I have a hunch...

Inklein grabs onto the toffee Squigley's forearm and pulls, tearing away a chunk of candy and revealing pale skin underneath.

Squilma: Does anyone else see what I'm seeing?

Inklein shoves the toffee chunk into his mouth and begins to chew.

Inklinda: Yeah, and it's 88 flavours of disgusting!

Inklein: My hunch was right! This IS toffee!

Toffee Squigley: Why does my arm suddenly feel a pleasant breeze in one spot...?

Octanner: I think I've figured it out!

Ally: So have I.

Squilma: What? What is it?

Octanner: I think...

Octanner nervously latches onto the side of the toffee Squigley's face and pulls, revealing a real Squigley face underneath, complete with the familiar Painter's Mask.

Squilma: Squigley? But...how-

"Squigley": Squilma! What happened? He turned me into an octopus, didn't he? Oh...this is not good!

Octanner: He's...me.

"Squigley": Wait...are we in Inkopolis Square? And why are there Oct-

"Squigley" pauses.

Octanner: Okay, I know what you're thinking, but just hear us out. We-

"Squigley": AAAAAAAAHH!!

Inklinda: Um...well, this is happening or whatever.

Inklein points to the toffee in Octanner's hand.

Inklein: Are you gonna eat that, Wiggles?

Inklein takes the toffee and bites into it. Inklinda dry-heaves.

Inklinda: 88 flavours of disgusting...

Scene 3: Ammo Knights: Evening.

Sheldon examines a now de-toffeed "Squigley" closely.

Sheldon: Hm...

Sheldon plucks a tiny piece of leftover candy from "Squigley's" quiff and rubs his thumb and index finger in a clockwise motion, before pinching them together. Inklein pats his belly.

Inklein: That candy was so good...hey, let's make another toffee Wiggles!

Squilma: You can't!

Inklein: Aw, why not?

Squilma: Because Lindie just destroyed the machine.

Sheldon looks at Inklinda.

Inklinda: What? I knew Inkle-butt would try making another candy Squigley, and I can only tolerate so much from him.

Sheldon: Yes...in any case, this Inkling is most definitely Squigley.

Squilma: But how?

Sheldon: Well, it seems that the machine restored the original Squigley from the ink sample instead of changing back Octanner.

Squilma: Isn't there anything you can do?!

Sheldon: Well, I could reconstitute the duplicate back into his component material, but that would be a mean thing to do to him.

Squigley: Yes, please don't do that.

Squilma: So you have Squiggles' memories?

Squigley: Only up to the incident in Octo Canyon. It seems I have a LOT of catching up to do. Say, where's Squika?

Ally: He's-

Everyone pauses.

Ally: Now that you mention it...

Scene 4: Unknown Location: Evening

We cut to a view of Squika locked in a cage, a dog dish labelled "IKA" next to him.

Squika: Four months locked in a cage with nothing but caviar and truffles to eat...why hasn't anyone rescued me...?

To be Continued

Scene... uh... 5?: Ate & Switch: Afternoon

”Squigley”, Octanner, Octabby, Inklinda and Inklein sit at a table. Inklein looks around.

Inklein: Huh...?

Inklinda: What’s up, Inkle-butt?

Inklein: Something’s weird...

Inklinda looks at “Squigley” and Octanner.

Inklinda: Aside from Squiggles sitting next to... himself...? I mean-

Voice: I’m BA-AAAAAAACK!

Squilma walks up to the table.

Inklein: I missed you so much, Wilma!

Squilma: Uh... I was just in the Little Woomy’s Room...

Inklein: Really? You were gone for AGES...

Octabby: Oh, is this one of the famous Inkling “squiddicisms” of which I’ve heard?

Inklinda: Oh, please. Inklein is, like, ANYTHING but witty or whatever...

Squilma: So what are we supposed to call the other one?

Octanner: Uh, RUDE.

Squilma: Oh, I didn’t mean you,

Octanner: Yes, but it was personally insulting by proxy.

Inklein: Wait... Wilma’s real name is Roxie...? Can I play with your baby centipede cocoon?

Squilma: Okay, did he lose a few I.Q. points since I went to the toilet a few minutes ago?

Squigley: Okay, you were NOT this way two months ago during the Octoling incident.

Octanner: Yeah... I think Inklinda’s starting to rub off on her, heheh.

Squilma: WHAT?! Why would you even SUGGEST that, Squiggles?

Octanner: Well, at least I have a valid excuse for being different.

Squigley: Really? Because I’d swear we were identical.

Octanner: Well, technically you’re younger than me in terms of memory delay.

Squigley: True. Cats judging battles of the New Splatoon...

Octanner: ...Octoling blue by the light of the moon.

Inklein: Wait... is THAT Wiggles-es-es’ son?!

Inklinda: Like, sure or whatever...

Squigley: Uh... but I’m not-

Inklinda: Squigley? Remember: this is INKLEIN.

Squigley: Oh... right, heheh...

Inklein: Yes. My name is Inklein... uh... Stinkline.

Inklinda: “Schminklein”, honey.

Inklein: Right, “Inklein Schminklein Honey”. It’s nice to meet you, Wiggles Jr.

Inklinda: Yes, Wiggles Jr. It’s VERY nice to meet why the fresh are you staring at me like that?

Squigley: Oh... uh... I was staring...?

Squilma: Looks like you have a romantic rival, Inkle-butt!

”Squigley”’s eyes widen.

Squigley: Uh-

Inklein: Silly Wilma! Wiggles Jr. doesn’t love you, he loves LINDIE! Silly Wilma!

Squigley and Inklinda are dumbfounded.

Inklinda: Like... uh...

Squigley: ...uh.. or whatever...

Squilma: Thanks for spoiling the mood, Inklein...

Inklein grins.

Inklein: You’re welcome, Wilma!

Squilma: Honestly... what ELSE could ruin my-

Squilma is drenched by a spray of purple ink.

Squilma: DARN IT, SQUIKA!

Squika: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! HELP ME! SOMEONE... ANYONE... HELP MEEEEEEE! WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP!

Everyone but Inklein gasps. Inklein giggles.

Inklein: That’s our Squeaky, hahaha!

To be Continued...

Scene 6: Inkopolis Square: Afternoon

Octanner and Squilma sit near Deca Tower.

Octanner: I see they’re getting ready for another Splatfest...

Squilma: Yep! I can’t wait!

Octanner: Which means another Off the Hook concert...

Squilma’s left eye squints.

Squilma: Don’t tell me you’re still hung up on Marina being a former Octarian youth general...?

Octanner: Wait... you think that... no, that’s not what I-

Octanner’s eyes widen.

Octanner: There are KOTAKO* in the Octarian ranks?!

FUN FACT: Octoling children are called “kotako” in this fanfic, as the direct English counterpart to “squidling” would otherwise be either “octoling” or octopusling”, with both being needlessly convoluted and/or confusing for obvious reasons.

In fact, it is a similar case to the Squinda-Inklika controversy that led to Inklinda in my old body being dubbed “Inkid”.

Squilma: Thank you for that unnecessary exposé, Squeirdo.

Squika: Anytime, my dear Squilma.

Octanner: Wait... how long have you been... “standing” there...?

Squika: The entire time.

Octanner: But... the author only narrated Squilma and I as being in this scene’s introduction.

Squigley: Yeah. It’s like he’s gotten deliberately sloppy in the two-or-so spans of time that we’ve technically been absent for unique, yet not dissimilar, reasons.

Octanner: Agreed, although his variety of words has certainly-

Squilma: Wait... how long have YOU been standing there, Squiggles?

Octanner and Squigley: The entire time. The author DID narrate... hey, we’re speaking in perfect sync!

Squilma: Uh... I meant-

Octanner and Squigley: Endolphin Surge! Ink Me Up! Na-Na-Na-Na-Naaaaaaasty Majesty! Silly Lindie! Stoopid Octavio! ... ... ... RosetylermarthajonesdonnanobleTARDIS! I HAVE FURY! A dozen Plains Donuts! Angusteventhalliusimmonatticusius Ed! (Jynx’s cry from the Pokémon games)

Squilma: “Octanner and Squilma sit near Deca Tower.” THAT’S what was narrated, right?

Octanner: Yeah?

Squilma: And yet the other one’s here too, right?

Octanner: Uh... RUDE.

Squilma: Oh, you know what I mean...

Squigley: Well, we ARE still the same guy, right?

Squika: Not anyMO-ooooore...

Squilma: Then why are YOU here, Squeirdo?

Squika: Because I felt like it.

Squilma: So now you’re mastering the art of cosmic ad lib?

Squika: Nope, just hiding from the scary Taco Zesty in the next scene.

Squilma: Well, if she’s supposed to be chasing you in that scene, won’t your sudden absence cause some... temporal instability?

Squika: Nope. Squigley said he’d take care of it.

Squilma: Wait... which one?

Squika: The one who still goes by “Squigley”, obviously...

Squilma: Oh, that makes sense...

Squigley: Uh... I didn’t say anything of the sort...

Squika: Yes you did. You grabbed me and brought me here, and told me you’d account for my absence in the next scene.

Squigley: I’m telling you, Squika, that I didn’t tell you any of that.

Squika: Hm... this reminds me of that Salmon Run shift during which I saw you on the far side of the map, even though you were right beside me at the time.

Octanner: You WERE concussed at the time...

Squika: Yes? And?

Squigley: You declared war on “Random Extra”.

Squika: Only because-

Squigley suddenly vanishes in a pulse of green wobbles.

Squika: Welp, I guess there was a time limit on the duplicate’s existence...

Squilma: After Inklein tampered with the machine? I never would’ve guessed...

Octanner: But...

Squilma: What is it, Octanner?

Octanner: Sheldon stated that... “Squigley 2” isn’t just a clone.

Squika: The freshness is a “clone”?

Octanner: In terms of molinkular structure, he’s closer to being an aeon twin, meaning he has an entropically-stable-

Squigley suddenly wibbles back in the same way as he left.

Octanner: -mass...

Squilma: What happened, Squiggles?

Squigley: Uh... well...

Octanner: You’re squidding...

Squilma: What? What?

Squigley: Squika...

Octanner: ...wasn’t hallucinating...

Squilma: Huh? You mean-

Squika: I TOLD you he was there! See? I’m NOT a madsquid!

Scene 7: Inkopolis Streets: Afternoon

Squika is sliding through a busy street.

Squika: HELP! A dangerous Octopus Amazon is chasing me through the streets! And I was put back into this scene from a point in the not-too-distant future by a time-travelling Inkling duplicate, just so that I could maintain temporal STABILITY... I mean, how ridiculously selfish is THAT?!

Bystander: Oh, it’s ridiculous alright, Squeirdo...

Squika: WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP!

Bystander: Heh... what a madsquid...

To be Continued...

Scene 8: Inkopolis Square: Afternoon

Octanner, Squigley, Squilma and Squika stare at the clouds.

Squilma: Ooh, that one looks like a Shwaffle!

Squika: And that one looks like Inklinda’s navel!

Squilma: How can you POSSIBLY know what her bellybutton... oh yeah, the body swap fiasco. Never mind.

Octanner: And that one looks like the squantum formula needed for seamless transportation and transmutation of intelligent organisms from a different reality to this one through the use of Swimtendo Switch technology!

Squilma: Uh... what are you-

Squigley: Oh yeah... I should memorise this before it fades.

Squika: For what reason?

Octanner: Obviously so he can bring... uh... “us” through to this reality during the Ally-Squinn no Shinwa finale.

Squigley: Correct-a-Tidemoondo.

Squilma looks at Squika.

Squilma: Are you understanding any of this, Squeirdo?

Squika: Hm? Oh, yes indeedy. Basic Inkling Advanced Squantum Mechanics Level 50+... it’s Squidling’s play, really.

Squilma: Right... I keep forgetting your genius level I.Q..

Squika: Uh-uh-UH... “Ultra Deep Prodigy”, my dear Squilma, hohohoooooh.

Squilma sighs.

Squilma: I can’t believe I’m ACTUALLY sympathising with Inkle-butt...

Squika starts humming the Bridal Chorus.

Squilma: SQUIKA!

Squika: Sorry, sorry... I was just imaging... and then I was humming, and... never mind. You’d have to have been there.

Squigley: Not yet, Squika.

Squilma: Not yet? What are you-

Octanner: Seriously?

Squigley: M-hm...

Octanner: Whoa... heheh... Inklinda won’t like THAT!

Squilma: Okay, WHAT are you-

Squigley: Oh, she’ll, like, manage or whatever...

Squika: So she’s handling the catering?

Squilma: The catering of WHAT?!

Squigley: I like parties...

Octanner: Me too...

Squigley: Y-Yes... I know...

Octanner: Oh yeah... duh! Octo-brain... heheh...

Squika: Uh... RUDE!

Octanner: It’s just self-deprecating humour, Squika.

Squika: Oh, alright... say, when am I to be returned to the chase sequence?

Squigley: Scene 7? Basically as soon as you state the obvious.

Squika: Noted.

Squilma: Okay can SOMEONE please say something NORMAL for once?! Is that TOO much to ask?!

Inklein: Hi, Wilma!

Squilma: And of all people, INKLEIN comes to my rescue! My freshing HERO or whatever...

Squika: Actually, I was just testing my impressions... “Silly Squeaky! You can’t test impressions, you MAKE them! Silly Squeaky, hahaha!” See? I just did a flawless impression of Inklein.

Squilma: Gee, I NEVER would’ve guessed, Captain Obvious... Bra-freshing-vo or whatever...

Squika: Well, you could stand to compliment me more often, my dear-

A pair of hands suddenly snatches away Squika.

Squilma: See? I just did a lame impression of Inklinda, which makes it more authentic than your effort, and thus the superior-

Squilma looks around.

Squilma: Where did he go...?

Squigley: I just took him back to Scene 7 to keep the continuity stable.

Squilma: Stable...? You’ve been standing there the ENTIRE time!

Octanner: Yes. It was a future version of himself who grabbed Squika.

Squilma: So now HE’S gonna be duplicated?!

Squigley: No, it was me... from the not-too-distant future.

Octanner: And it’s only duplication if there’d be exactly two of us, which is already the case.

Squigley: “Replication” would be a far more accurate statement.

Octanner: Plus, two of us is more than enough.

Squigley: Heh... imagine the title of a multi-Squigley special: “The Polis with a Thousand Squigleys”.

Octanner: “The Tome of One Thousand and One Squigleys”.

Squigley: “Squigley: Mass Splattack!”

Octanner: Oh... that should’ve been the title of this episode...

Squigley: Agreed.

Squilma collapses to the ground.

Squilma: I hate science fantasy stories...

A jet of purple ink splats across Squilma’s face.

Squika: WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP!

Ichi: Baka Ika! (“Idiot Inkling!”)

Squigley: Ah, the immediate continuity’s sufficiently stabilised.

Octanner: Sweet! Let’s get Crusty Seanwiches to celebrate! You coming, Squilma?

Squilma: I’m living in The Twilink Zone...

Scene 1: Inkopolis Square: Morning

Octanner, Octabby, Squigley, Squilma and Squika are sitting at a table near The Crust Bucket, with Squika in the centre of the table.

Squika: So-

Squilma: Shut up, Squierdo! It's Inkopolis News time!

Squika: SOR-ry...

The scene cuts to the monitor.

Pearl: Yo, what's happening, Inkopolis?

Marina: It's Off the Hook, coming at you LIVE from Inkopolis Square!

Octabby's eyes widen.

Octabby: Oh... it's Ida-senpai!

Squilma glances at Octabby.

Squika: Ooh... they're announcing the new Splatfest theme!

Squilma: They already ANNOUNCED it, Squeirdo!

Squika: Whuuuuuuuh...?

Squigley: This is just a repeat for anyone who may have missed it the first time.

Octanner: Which is impossible for you, of course.

Squigley grins.

Squigley: Well... kind of, yeah...

Squilma: You are such a dork, Squiggles, heehee!

Squigley blushes from embarrassment.

Pearl: Ooh, here it comes!

Marina: I wonder what it will be...

The monitor displays two images against a half-pale yellowish green, half-pale reddish orange background. Both images display different types of sauce in a small dish.

Pearl: BOOYAH! Mayo vs. Ketchup! Wait... didn't we already do this one...?

Marina: Actually, Pearl, it says here the theme is "Tartare vs. Thousand Island".

Pearl: Oh... good. The last thing I need is a repeated Splatfest theme!

Marina: Well, I DOUBT they'd run out of fresh ideas so soon, Pearlie.

Pearl: Still... couldn't they have chosen a less familiar theme than condiments? Or at least choose sauces that look entirely different than mayo and the other one?

Marina: Ketchup?

Pearl: Tomayto, tomahto... STILL feels like they're short on ideas.

Marina: And you'd know ALL about shortness, right?

Pearl: Oh, HA-HA! At least I'm not a freakishly tall, Octechnopathic nerd!

Squika: Octechnopathic?

Octabby: Indeed, Squikkun. As Inklings can be Psyphalopods, so too can Octolings be Octechnopaths.

Squilma: Hey, yeah! Octanner's powers changed after he was transformed, right?

Octanner: Actually, it's just a theory...

Squigley: A GA-

Squigley suddenly blinks away.

Octabby: NANI?! ("WHAT?!")

Squilma: Oh, he's still getting used to his new Psy-pod power.

Squika: You're telling ME... I'm STILL having nightmares about being chased by that Taco Zesty!

Octabby: Oh, you mean my sister, Octopus Amazon Ichi!

Squika: Whuuuuuh...?

Octanner: I haven't actually tested my powers since the transformation. Uh... I think.

Squilma: Well, what's the harm?

Squika: Actually, I-

Octanner: You think I should... uh, I mean...?

Squilma: Yeah! Why not?

Squika: This could be-

Octabby: Octechnopathic powers are indeed amazing to behold!

Squilma: So what can Octechies do, exactly?

Squika: What I'm TRYING to-

Octabby: At its most basic, Octechnopaths have the ability to use the logical hemisphere of their minds to work with, construct and manipulate machinery.

Squika: This could be VERY-

Octabby: AND they can channel their logic magic into producing digital geometry and mathematical formulae into physical space in many, many ways.

Squilma: C'mon! Let's see what you can do, Octanner!

Octanner: Uh... okay, here goes...

Octanner places his middle and index fingers on each temple, before closing his eyes.

Octanner: Focussing...

Squika: I think that-

Squilma: SHUT UP, SQUEIRDO! OCTANNER'S TRYING TO-

Suddenly, an electromagnetic pulse bursts from Octanner's head, causing all technology within the immediate vicinity to suddenly shut down.

Squilma: -CONCENTRATE!

Octanner lowers his hands and looks around.

Octanner: Uh...?

Octabby: Sugoi... ("Amazing...")

Squilma glares at Squika.

Squilma: See? THIS is why you should've kept quiet!

Squika: Me...? YOU'RE the one who suddenly yelled out whilst Octanner was concentrating!

Squilma: Well, MAYBE if you'd SHUT UP for two seconds, I wouldn't HAVE to yell at-

Voice: AaaaaaAAAAAHHHHH!

Octanner's eyes flash once.

Octanner: Be right back!

Octanner stands up and runs away.

Squilma: NOW look what you did!

Squika: Oh, PLEASE! This is all YOUR F-

Squilma: My what? Go on: finish that sentence. I DARE you.

Squilma's eyes narrow.

Squika: Uh... well... thing is, uh...

Squilma: Yes...?

Squika: Uh...

Squika suddenly Squid Jumps away, pelting Squilma's tee with purple ink.

Squilma: You'd BETTER run, Squeirdo! *Sigh*...

Octabby: Ai desu yo... ("True love...")

Squilma: Yeah... wait... WHAT?!

Scene 2: Abandoned Subway Gate: Morning

Octanner walks into a pitch-dark alleyway.

Octanner: Hello? Is anyone-

Octanner looks at a stack of boxes.

Octanner: Oh... are you okay?

Voice: Mm... y-yes, I'm fine. Please leave.

Octanner: I can't do that.

Voice: I-I prefer to be alone.

Octanner: In a dark alleyway, without electricity?

Voice: It's fine.

Octanner slowly approaches the boxes. He sees a Vemo with emerald green tentacles tied into a ponytail. She is sitting in an alcove. She is playing on her Swimtendo Switch, which has a left Neon Green Oy-Con and a right Neon Cyan Oy-Con attached.

Octanner: Oh... I guess you ARE fine.

The Vemo doesn't look up from her game.

Vemo: Mm... yep! I'm playing The Legend of Pearlda: Fresh and Wild.

Octanner sits on a nearby box.

Octanner: It's one of my favourites, too.

Vemo: I just found and tamed a seahorse with perfect attributes. I named her "Amaimizu", which means "Sweet Water" in the Inkling language.

Octanner smiles.

Octanner: That's quite a creative name.

The Vemo smiles, though continues to focus on her game.

Vemo: Arigato Gozaimasu!

Octanner: My name is Octanner. What's yours?

Vemo: Mm... Octazura.

Octanner smiles.

Octanner: That's a nice name, too.

Octazura smiles with delight.

Octazura: You're nice. I like that.

Octanner: It's nice to be nice.

Octazura: Agreed.

Octanner: You don't mind sitting here, in the dark?

Octazura: Mm... I'm sure the power will be restored soon.

Octanner: Agreed. I... think I'll play something too.

Octanner whips out his Swimtendo Switch, which has a Neon Cyan Oy-Con on the left and a Neon Orange Oy-Con on the right, and begins playing. Squika suddenly splats into a nearby cafe window just as the power is restored, startling Spyke. He speaks with a muffled voice.

Squika: Oh, hey! The power's back on! Oh... sorry, dude! Wait... aren't you that urchin I met in Inkopolis Plaza? Funny how we keep meeting in back alleys like-

Squika slowly slides down the window, leaving a smear of purple ink.

Squika: Well, it was nice to see you again, Quyll! I'm just gonna-

Squika suddenly plops to the ground out of view. Spyke sighs and shakes his head.

Spyke: Ov AW the Squids to spla' on dat winda...

Spyke chuckles.

Spyke: "Dat's ah Squika!"

To be Continued...

Scene 3: Inkopolis Square: Afternoon

Octabby, Squigley and Squilma are still sitting outside The Crust Bucket.

Squilma: Ugh... where IS he, already?

Squigley: Who?

Squilma: You!

Octabby giggles.

Octabby: Don’t be silly, Squilma-yon! Squigley-ni is right there!

Squilma groans.

Squilma: And now INKLEIN is here, which means INKLINDA is here, too...

Squigley: That... wasn’t Inklein, Squilma.

Squilma: Oh yeah... well, whenever I hear anyone refer to me as “silly”-

Inklein’s voice: Silly Wilma! You’re not silly, Wilma! Silly Wilma, hahaha!

Squilma headdesks as Inklein and an unfamiliar Ngyes with pale pink tentacles approach.

Squilma (muffled): I blame myself for this jinx.

Inklein: Silly Wilma! You can’t catch Jynx in the Inkopolis Region! Silly Wilma, hahaha!

Squilma lifts her head with an expression of torture.

Squilma: Okay, just get your insult out of the way now, “Lindie”... ugh...

Ngyes: BOOYAH!

Squilma’s left eye squints.

Squilma: What kind of insult is that...?

Ngyes: The kind that’s NOT an insult, duh! You know me better than THAT, Nēchan!

Squilma: “Nēchan...?” Only ONE Inkling calls me that...

Squilma’s eyes widen as she realises the identity of the Ngyes standing next to Inklein.

Squilma: SQUENTIN?!

The Ngyes grins.

Squentin: Hi, Squil! What’s happening?

Octabby: Who is this, Squilma-yon?

Squilma: He’s... my squid brother.

Squigley: Like sands ‘neath flowing seagrass... so, too, are the Crays of Our Chives.

Inklein: Hey, you made a callback to my first ever appearance in the saga! It’s almost like you’re a time-centipede.

Squigley: You mean, “time-sensitive”, right?

Inklein: Hahaha! “Time-sensitive”... that’s a good one, Wiggles Jr.!

Squilma headdesks again.

Squilma (muffled): Don’t hang around this one too much, Squent, or you may develop Inkleinitis dumdumiphora... *sigh*...

Scene 4: Abandoned Subway Gate: Afternoon

Octanner and Octazura are still playing their games.

Octanner: Oh, look out!

Octazura concentrates, before making a big cheer.

Octazura: YATTA! (“WOOHOO!”)

Octanner: Wow, you’re amazing at this game!

Octazura: Mm... thank you, Octanner-tomo! I play Hare n’ Tear 2 every day, to make sure my skills are kept at optimal sufficiency.

Octanner: So do I, but you are definitely superior in skill level.

Octazura makes a small smile.

Octazura: You are very nice... not too many people are nice to me since I arrived in Inkopolis.

Octanner: I find that difficult to beli-

Octanner’s left eye squints.

Octanner: See? Not so good at this game...

Octazura: Mm... well, everyone is good at different things. If we weren’t, we would all be good at the same things and less so at other things.

Octanner: Wise words, to be sure.

Octazura smiles.

Octanner: Thank you, Octanner-tomo. I imagine all your friends are as nice as you.

Octanner: Well... heheh...

Octazura looks in Octanner’s direction.

Octazura: May you please introduce me to them?

Octanner: Of course... uh... if that’s what you’d like. I don’t want to force you if-

Octazura: Mm... yep! I haven’t met anyone since moving here, and I tend to be shy. You are quite brave in making new friends, so I’d like to be as brave as you in that regard, Octanner-tomo.

Octanner smiles.

Octanner: Sure. Let’s go.

Octazura: Mm... okay.

Octanner and Octazura leave the alleyway, carrying their consoles as they go. Squika regains consciousness as Octanner steps past him.

Squika: Uh... I feel like I’m missing an opportunity... oh, of course! Duh!

Squika slaps the back of his head... body... thing, knocking himself out in the process.

Scene 5: Inkopolis Square: Afternoon

Octotroopers Alpha, Beta and Gamma, in their Inkling disguises, observe from afar as Octanner introduces Octazura to his friends.

Gamma: There they are... you both know the plan, right?

Alpha: Yeah! Hijack The Crust Bucket and give away all supplies of Shwaffles, Seanwiches and smoothies for free, thus beginning the slow, arduous and ultimately inconsequential process of putting that overgrown tempura out of business!

Gamma: Seriously...? You think THAT’S the plan?!

Beta: Oh, I think he’s developed a case of Inkleinitis dumdumiphora.

Gamma: A fair theory. At least YOU know the plan, right?

Beta: Sure. We integrate into their little gang, masquerading as members of their society, in an effort to extract information necessary for Tako-sama’s plans to “conquer Inkompopulous for the gory of the Octarian Umpire”.

Gamma facepalms.

Gamma: I think YOU’VE developed Inkleinitis dumdumiphora, too...

Beta: Actually, that was Tako-sama’s exact choice of words...

Gamma: Oh... that makes even MORE sense.

Alpha walks up to Beta and Gamma.

Alpha: Okay, I planted the fartnacles inside the truck.

Gamma: You WHAT?!

Alpha: Uh... because to drive away the overgrown tempura out of the truck so we can seize it!

Beta: And the idea of food hygiene DIDN’T cross your mind...?

Alpha: Nope. Only Tako-sama has cross-sections on his head.

Gamma shakes her head.

Gamma: You... are... ridiculous. Come on, let’s begin.

Beta and Gamma approach the group as casually as possible. Alpha pumps his fists.

Alpha: YES! The fast food liberation begins!

Alpha sniffs the air.

Alpha: Hm... smells like someone ate Tako-sama’s seaweed stew surprise for lunch.

Alpha races in his allies’ direction.

To be Continued...