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Octanner no Monogatari: A Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion Fan-Fiction by GeekyGamerZack
July 11th 2018, 6:54 pm
Hi, all, and welcome to Octanner no Monogatari, the much-hyped sequel to Squigley no Densetsu! ("Much-hyped"...? Are you freshing serious?!)
In this chapter, we meet Octanner, an Octoling whose origins are not going to be mentioned in this paragraph as it would spoil the ending for those of you who have yet to finish reading Squigley no Densetsu, so consider this your first SPOILER WARNING. (Okay, how many of these warnings are you going to post? There better not be eight of 'em, 'cause that'd be, like, repetitive or whatever...)
In this chapter, we catch up with many old friends such as Squilma, Squika, Inklinda, Inklein and Agent 3, as well as new ones like...um...Whatsisname, and...uh...that girl. (What's the matter? Having trouble writing about this chapter without spoiling the plot of the original?)
As was mentioned before, this series has a LOT of spoilers for both Squigley no Densetsu and Ally-Squinn no Shinwa, so I advise you to read those first. Consider this your second SPOILER WARNING. (Okay, that's, like, getting annoying or whatever...)
So if you're ready to continue the tale, then get ready to start the first episode of Octanner's chapter, Octo Ex-splat-sion. I hope you enjoy! ("Octo Ex-splat-sion"...? The writer's puns are getting worse or whatever...)
***
Oh, and those snide comments at the start of every chapter? Yeah, you can thank (blame) Inklinda for those. Girl doesn't have a nice bone in her body... (Um...I'm made of INK. I don't HAVE bones. Ugh, you're so awesome at writing, writer. Wait...I didn't say how much I care about Inklein! What?! I...okay, okay, I'll stop!)
***
Episode 1: Octo Ex-splat-sion!
AKA "The Octoling Episode"
In this chapter, we meet Octanner, an Octoling whose origins are not going to be mentioned in this paragraph as it would spoil the ending for those of you who have yet to finish reading Squigley no Densetsu, so consider this your first SPOILER WARNING. (Okay, how many of these warnings are you going to post? There better not be eight of 'em, 'cause that'd be, like, repetitive or whatever...)
In this chapter, we catch up with many old friends such as Squilma, Squika, Inklinda, Inklein and Agent 3, as well as new ones like...um...Whatsisname, and...uh...that girl. (What's the matter? Having trouble writing about this chapter without spoiling the plot of the original?)
As was mentioned before, this series has a LOT of spoilers for both Squigley no Densetsu and Ally-Squinn no Shinwa, so I advise you to read those first. Consider this your second SPOILER WARNING. (Okay, that's, like, getting annoying or whatever...)
So if you're ready to continue the tale, then get ready to start the first episode of Octanner's chapter, Octo Ex-splat-sion. I hope you enjoy! ("Octo Ex-splat-sion"...? The writer's puns are getting worse or whatever...)
***
Oh, and those snide comments at the start of every chapter? Yeah, you can thank (blame) Inklinda for those. Girl doesn't have a nice bone in her body... (Um...I'm made of INK. I don't HAVE bones. Ugh, you're so awesome at writing, writer. Wait...I didn't say how much I care about Inklein! What?! I...okay, okay, I'll stop!)
***
Episode 1: Octo Ex-splat-sion!
AKA "The Octoling Episode"
- Part 1:
- Scene 1: Cephalon HQ: Night
DJ Octavio: Hachi...? But...why?!
Hachi looks at DJ Octavio.
Hachi: Watashi wa okiniiri janaikara! (Because I'm not the favourite!)
Hachi pulls off her sunglasses, throws them to the ground, then crushes them with the heel of her boot.
Hachi: And now, I'm leaving with these two gaijin!
Hachi grabs "Squigley" and Squilma's hands and leads them through the hatch. She stops and turns to look at DJ Octavio.
Hachi: And my name's NOT Hachi, mmkay? It's-
The hatch suddenly slams shut.
Hachi: Oh, just as I was about to have my big moment...
Squilma: I...why did you save us...?
Hachi: Because I'm NOT under his control! That scum deserves to be splatted for good!
"Squigley": Whoa...my head...
"Squigley" leans against a wall and slowly slinks to the ground, before changing to octopus form.
Squilma: Squiggles!
Squilma squats next to Squigley.
Squilma: Are you okay?
"Squigley" nods.
"Squigley": Yeah, just a little tired...
Hachi: Understandable, considering what you went through.
Squilma looks at Hachi.
Squilma: Well, why didn't you stop him?
Hachi: It's...hard to explain.
Squilma: What, you thought it'd be funny to see him turn into one of...of...you?!
Hachi: I couldn't because...he said not to.
Squilma: Who? Octavio?
Hachi shakes her head.
Hachi: I can't explain right now. Please, just trust me.
Squilma: How do I know you're not leading us into a trap?
Hachi: You need proof? Very well...
Hachi pulls an octophone seemingly from nowhere.
Squilma: I didn't know those uniforms hadd pockets...
Hachi: They don't.
Squilma: Then how-
Hachi taps on her phone's screen. The Calamari Inkantation begins to play. Hachi headbangs to the beat and begins to sing.
Hachi: ♫Ya weni marei mirekyarahire
Juri yu mirekerason
Kire hyari yoriherahe nyurahera
Nunnyura unera yurawera nyimerani
Hachi pauses the song. Squilma's eyes widen.
Squilma: You were touchd by the heavenly melody?
Hachi: Yes. You can thank the New Squidbeak Splatoon for freeing me, as well as countless other Octarians...well, FORMER Octarians.
Squilma's left eye squints.
Squilma: Then why let Squigley be transformed?
"Squigley" suddenly inks himself, though the ink puddle is green rather than aqua.
"Squigley": Sorry about that...
Squilma: It's fine. Save your strength. You'll need it for when we make our escape.
Hachi: Curious...his ink puddle is green.
Squilma stares at the puddle on the ground.
Squilma's thoughts: It must be residual ink from his Inkling form...maybe...?
Squilma: Hachi? Please carry Squigley out of this place.
Hachi: Of course, Agent 4-san.
Hachi lifts "Squigley" onto her shoulders.
Hachi: Ready, Octugley-kun?
"Squigley": Yeah.
Hachi begins to head for the exit.
Oh, but please don't call me that.
Hachi: Oh...um...Octugley-san?
"Squigley": No, I meant...uh, never mind.
Hachi: Are you following, Agent 4-san?
Squilma: Yeah, be right there!
Squilma snaps on a pair of yellow rubber gloves.
Squilma's thoughts: I can't believe I'm doing this...ew...
To be Continued...
- Part 2:
- Scene 2: Ate & Switch: Morning
Eight weeks later (give-or-take)...
Squilma sits at a table. She is picking at a plate of wakame. Squilma sighs.
Inklein's voice: What's wrong, Wilma?
Squilma looks up at Inklein.
Squilma: Oh, hey, Inklein. Wait...where's Inklinda?
Inklein: Who?
Squilma: You know...Lindie?
Inklein's eyes widen.
Inklein: Oh, she's just parking the pool.
Squilma: Parking the-
Squilma shakes her head.
Squilma: Never mind.
Squilma sighs again. Inklein sits down.
Inklein: What's wrong, Wilma?
Squilma looks at Inklein.
Squilma: I really miss Squigley...
Inklein: Aw, that's so sad. Was he your pet?
Squilma's left eye squints.
Squilma: What?
Inklein: Squigley sounds like a pet's name, right?
Squilma: Look, Inklein-
Inklein: Did he run away? Or was he taken to a farm upstate?
Inklein gasps.
Inklein: Oh no! Is he-
Squilma: WIGGLES! I'm talking about Wiggles!
Inklein: Oh...
Inklein giggles.
Inklein: Silly Wilma! Wiggles isn't a pet! Silly Wilma!
Squilma: For the love of-
Squilma sighs for a third time.
Squilma: Wiggles went on vacation a couple months ago. He said he'll be back "when he's ready", okay?
Inklinda's voice: Who the fresh is "Wiggles"...?
Squilma looks at Inklinda.
Squilma: Oh, hey, Inklinda. I was just trying to explain to Inklein that I miss Squigley.
Inklinda: I know what you mean. I can't stop thinking about him...
Squilma: Wait...do you...like-like Squigley?
Inklinda's left eye squints.
Inklinda: What? Why the fresh would you think THAT?
Squilma: Then...you're NOT interested in him?
Inklinda: Of COURSE not! You think I like-like him? Yeah right! More like HE like-likes ME or whatever.
Squilma laughs.
Squilma: What? That's ridiculous! The Great Za-
Squilma pauses.
Squilma: Sorry, force of habit. But seriously, Squigley isn't interested in you!
Inklinda: Oh? Are you SURE about that?
Squilma: Of COURSE I am! Besides, it wouldn't work out, would it?
Inklinda: I know what you mean. ME dating an OCTOLING? Daddy would cut my allowance if I did THAT!
Squilma rolls her eyes.
Squilma: It's nice to know that you care about things other than yourself, Lindie...besides, he's still the same Squigley!
Inklein: Yeah. You're so smart, Wilma...
Squilma grins.
Squilma: That's what people keep telling me!
Inklinda: And even if I DID like-like him, I can't, because I, like, already HAVE a boyfriend or whatever.
Squilma: You do?
Squilma slowly looks at Inklein.
Squilma's thoughts: No freshing WAY...
Voice: Um...hello? Agent 4?
Squilma turns to look at Hachi. She is wearing casual clothing, and her tentacles are yellow. Squilma stands.
Squilma: Hachi? Is that you?
Hachi smiles and nods.
Hachi: Yes. It is good to see you again.
Squilma: Likewise.
Hachi sees Inklinda and Inklein.
Hachi: Oh, are these your friends?
Inklinda: I wouldn't call us "friends", per se. We're more like close personal acquaintances or whatever.
Inklein: And I'm a fry cook!
Squilma: Oh, right! This is Inklinda Squatson and Inklein. I...don't know his last name.
Hachi smiles and bows.
Hachi: Hajimemashite. (Nice to meet you.)
Inklinda: Uh...hi?
Inklein: Hajimemashite. (Nice to meet you.)
Inklein bows.
Inklinda: You speak Octarian, honey?
Inklein: I do?
Inklinda sighs.
Hachi: My name is Takozonesu Octabigail.
Inklinda: Long name. Is there, like, something else we can call you?
"Hachi": Well...some people call me "Octabby".
Inklein: Tabby? You mean like Judd? Are you half-puss?
Squilma: Don't mind Inklein. He's a few shrimp short of a cocktail.
Octabby giggles.
Squilma: So where have you been? I haven't seen you since you were taken away by Ally-Squinn!
Octabby: It's a long story...say, where's Squigley?
Squilma: It's a long story...
Inklein looks at Inklinda.
Inklein: Hey, how come you made Wilma think I was your boyfriend...?
Inklinda: It's, like, a long story or whatever...
To be Continued...
- Part 3:
- Scene 3: Wahoo World: Morning
We see "Squigley" holding a weapon similar to a Splattershot in the middle of Wahoo World, a popular seaside amusement park. The scene flashes for a brief moment.
Voice: All done!
Seth walks into view and hands "Squigley" an octophone.
"Squigley": Thanks.
Seth: Hey, no problem. So you live in Inkopolis too?
"Squigley": Uh...yeah, I do.
Seth: So what do you think of it? I'm sure it's very different to where you USED to live, right?
"Squigley": I...wouldn't know, since I don't remember where I used to live.
Seth's eyes widen.
Seth: Seriously?
"Squigley": Yeah. It's fine, though. I've made a bunch of friends, and they're all so nice...well, Inklinda can be...actually, never mind.
Seth's left eye squints.
Seth: You're friends with Inklinda Squatson?
"Squigley": Yeah, I guess so.
Seth: And Inklein?
Squigley grins.
"Squigley": Yeah. He's awesome!
Seth: Then...do you know-
Seth pauses.
"Squigley": Who?
Seth: Do you know Ally-Squinn Maki?
"Squigley" thinks.
"Squigley": Hm...nope, doesn't ring a bell.
Seth: Oh, you'd LOVE her. She's AMAZING!
"Squigley": I'll take your word for it.
Seth: Yeah! Hey, we should TOTALLY hang out sometime. I'll introduce you!
"Squigley": I think I'd like that.
Seth: Cool. Say, what's your name?
"Squigley": It's Squi-
"Squigley" pauses.
"Squigley": Um...Octu-
"Squigley's" thoughts: Nope, "Octugley" isn't gonna work...stoopid Octavio...
"Squigley": Um...call me "Octanner".
Seth: Octanner, huh? That's an AMAZING name!
Octanner grins.
Octanner: Thanks.
Seth: Well...uh...d'you wanna head over to Ate & Switch?
Octanner: Yeah, I guess I do. I need to catch up with Squilma.
Seth: You know Squilma? Is there anyone you DON'T know?
Squika lands on Octanner's head.
Seth: SQUIKA! What are you doing?!
Squika: I wanted to surprise my dear friend Squigley!
Seth: Well, you can't! Squigley went back to his own time MONTHS ago!
Octanner's thoughts: Wait...what is Seth talking about...?
Squika: Don't be absurd, bruh! Squigley is RIGHT HERE!
Octanner's thoughts: Squika, what are you-
Seth: Well, all I see is my silly twin and my new Octoling friend. Oh, Octanner, this is my...uh...Squika.
Octanner: Oh, we've met.
Squika: Yes, but then you left me behind while you went on your vacation, just like Seth-Inkley here. But now you're both home! YAY!
Octanner giggles.
Octanner: I missed you too, Squika.
Squika begins to sob.
Squika: Aw, you're so nice, Squiggles...
Seth's left eye squints.
Seth's thoughts: Okay, HOW do you get "Squiggles" from a name like Octanner...?
To be Continued...
- Part 4:
- Scene 4: Ate & Switch: Afternoon
Ally, Squilma, Inklinda and Inklein sit at a table.
Squilma: So...any reason you invited us here, Ally-Squinn?
Ally: Yeah, there is.
Inklinda: Wait...why am I here? I have better things to do right now or whatever.
Ally: Well, Seth called and said he met a friend of yours at Wahoo World.
Squilma's eyes widen.
Squilma: Squigley?!
Ally shakes her head.
Ally: No, it's someone I haven't met. Some guy named Octanner.
Squilma's left eye squints.
Squilma: What? I don't know anyone named-
Inklein: Wiggles!
Squilma looks at Inklein.
Squilma: What are you talking about, Inkle-butt?
Inklein points at the door.
Inklein: Wiggles just walked in with Purple Squika!
Squilma's left eye squints even further.
Squilma: I think you've lost your Power Eggs...
Octanner's voice: Hey, everyone.
Squilma's eyes widen as she looks at Octanner.
Squilma: Squiggles! You're back!
Octanner smiles.
Octanner: Yep! I-
Squilma leaps off her chair and hugs Octanner.
Seth: Hey, what am I, chopped Leever?
Inklein giggles.
Inklein: Silly Purple Squika! That's not a SEA pun, it's a ZELDA pun! Silly Purple Squika.
Squilma lets go of Octanner and looks at Seth.
Squilma: Nice to see you, Seth-Inkley. Say...where's Squika? And how did you get here so fast?
Seth: Oh, he's parking the car. We took the carpool lane to get here.
Squilma: Nice.
Ally: Hold up...Seth, you said you were bringing a guy named Octanner, right?
Seth: Yeah?
Ally: Then why is Squigley here instead of him?
Seth laughs.
Seth: Don't be silly, Ally! Squigley returned to his own time!
Inklinda sighs.
Inklinda's thoughts: I think he's been spending too much time hanging out with Inkle-butt...
Ally: No, Seth. This is Squigley.
Ally gestures to Octanner.
Seth: No, it CAN'T be. Squigley's an Inkling. This? This is an Octoling.
Inklinda: Like, what's the difference?
Seth: Well, a different number of tentacles, for one. But that's not the point: this can't be Squigley because he's-
Octanner: Actually, I AM Squigley. Well...used to be, anyway...
Squilma: Used to be...?
Ally: Squigley...
Octanner: I figure that I'm a new person now. In a sense, I've been reborn...given a fresh start...so I renamed myself.
Octanner raises his hand.
Octanner: Hi! I'm Octanner, an Inkopolitan Octoling.
Inklinda: But...you're still...YOU, right?
Octanner: Oh, don't get me wrong. I may be different on the outside, but inside I'm still the same guy. I've just been given a new coat of ink.
Squilma and Ally smile. Inklinda makes a slight smile.
Ally: Well said...
Ally's thoughts: ...but it's only temporary, right...? I mean...your future self has been restored to Inkling form...we just need to figure out how to change you back...
Scene 5: Ammo Knights: Afternoon
We see a view of Ammo Knights. Multiple electric blue flashes are seen, each coupled with the sound of electrical zaps.
Sheldon's voice: I've...I've succeeded! This new device may be the answer we've been seeking! Uh-oh...
We see a brief zap, followed by a squishy plop sound. Callie walks through the front door and approaches the back room, a brown paper bag in her hand.
Callie: Shelly! I brought you a bag of freshly-cooked crabby-
Callie looks into the back room and drops the bag. She calls out.
Callie: Uh...Marie? I think Sheldon's been eaten by a Kraken...
To be Continued...
- Part 5:
- Scene 6: Ate & Switch: Evening
Octanner, Octabby, Ally, Seth, Squilma, Squika, Inklinda and Inklein sit at a table, a huge ice-cream sundae in front of each of them.
Inklein: Hey...I just realised something.
Inklinda: I find that hard to believe...
Squilma: What is it, Inklein?
Inklein: There are eight main characters in this scene! It's the largest group in a single scene to date!
Inklinda: Yeah? So?
Squika: Well, the writer IS trying to emphasise a theme of the number 8, right?
Octanner: Yeah, but I think it was just a happy coincidence in this case...
Squilma: But isn't it hard to write dialogue for more than a handful of characters at once?
Inklein giggles.
Inklein: Silly Wilma! You can't fit characters in a person's hand, they're too BIG! Silly Wilma!
Ally: Squilma's right. I mean, odds are that not everyone will be able to speak before this scene finishes.
Seth opens his mouth to speak.
Callie's voice: Squilma! Ally!
Callie and Marie run up to the table.
Squilma: What's wrong, Callie?
Callie: No time to speak! Hurry!
Marie: Callie, I think it's-
Callie: Not now, Marie! We need to-
Callie pauses for a ridiculously long time.
Octanner: Uh...Callie?
Callie: Not now, Squidley! You need to come NOW!
Octanner: Wait...didn't you say you needed-
Callie: Squidley, please! You and Squilma and Ally and the Veemo and maybe Squika need to come RIGHT NOW!
Octabby: M-Me...? Really?
Squika: Ooh, I'm being included? Goody!
Inklein giggles.
Inklein: Silly Squeaky! You're not a-
Callie: Come on! Hurry up, already!
Marie: (Overreacting as usual...)
Octanner: Uh...right.
Octanner, Octabby, Ally, Squilma and Squika follow Callie out of the store. Marie looks at Seth, Inklinda and Inklein.
Inklinda: Wait...why the fresh weren't WE included?
Marie: Honestly? No idea. I try to let my cousin do her own thing...
Marie's thoughts: ...which MAY have been a mistake that one time...
Inklein: Well, at least we all got to say something during this scene.
Squam's voice: Hey, Inklein! Your preordered copy of Squidkid 2: Return of the Kidsquid just came in!
Inklein: YAY! Even SQUAM got to say something! AND I have a new game to play on my Swimtendo Switch!
Inklinda: Well, I guess it IS important for characters to be able to say lines in scenes or whatever...
Seth opens his mouth to speak.
Scene 7: Ammo Knights: Evening
Octanner, Octabby, Ally and Squilma follow Callie inside Ammo Knights.
Callie: Okay, Agents, it's time to brief you on your mission!
Octanner: Uh...Octabby and I aren't agents...
Octabby: Um...
Callie: Oh, right...well then, I guess it's not a MISSION but more of a-
We see a blue flash from the back room, followed by the sound of an electrical zap.
Sheldon's voice: I...I did it!
Callie: Sheldon? Is that you? Are you okay?!
Sheldon's voice: Oh, Agent 1!
Sheldon walks from the back room and steps on the brown paper bag.
Sheldon: Oh...um...
Callie: Oh, sorry, Shelly! I left your dinner on the floor!
Sheldon: It's quite alright, Agent-
Sheldon sees Octanner and Octabby.
Sheldon: I mean..."Callie".
Callie: So what happened? Did you use a gadget to cut your way out of that Kraken's stomach?
Sheldon: Kraken?
Callie: Yeah! There was a huge, slimy monster in the back room, right?
Sheldon: Actually, that was me.
Callie: You were turned into a Kraken?! That must've been HORRIBLE!
Ally: That scenario seems familiar...
Sheldon: What? No, I accidentally electrocuted myself and fell to the ground. I knocked a sheet of tarp over me, which snagged on a bucket of green slime and caused the tarp to become covered with the substance.
Callie: But it had tentacles! And it was writhing around!
Sheldon: Ah, those would have been the convulsions.
Callie: So...this whole thing was just a big misunderstanding...?
Sheldon: Yes indeed, Callie. Anyway, I managed to build something truly wonderful indeed!
***
The group stares at a machine that resembles the one DJ Octavio used to transform Squigley into Octanner.
Ally: What is it, Sheldon?
Sheldon: It's a transmutation reversal unit. I built it by reverse-engineering the device Inklein used to accidentally switch the bodies of Inklinda and Squika.
Squilma: I remember that...wait...wasn't Squika with us?
Ally: Hey, yeah...where IS he?
Squilma: Eh, I'm sure he'll turn up.
Sheldon: I also received some of the leftover parts from the v.21072017 iteration of Donburi Podd's restoration machine after it was successfully converted into a taffy machine.
Ally giggles.
Ally: Gee, I wonder who did THAT?
Sheldon: Basically, it will work to restore any Inkling whose physiology was altered using the energy of the tidemoon.
Ally and Squilma's eyes widen.
Squilma: We could use it to restore-
Ally: -Octobel!
Squilma's left eye squints.
Squilma: Who the fresh is Octobel?
Ally: Did...I say "Octobel"...? I meant Octanner!
Octanner ponders Ally's words.
Squilma: Yep! Squiggles can return to being the Inkling he was meant to be!
Sheldon: I'm afraid it's not quite that simple, Squilma. Without a sample of the subject's untampered ink, the machine will not work.
Ally: Then...Squigley's stuck like this?
Ally's thoughts: No...it CAN'T be...there must be another way...there HAS to be...
Squilma: Then are YOU in luck, Shelster?
Sheldon: What do you mean...?
Squilma: Well, when Octabby and I escaped from Octavio's lair with Squigley, I happened to salvage a sample of his ink!
Sheldon: Oh, that's wonderful, Squilma!
Squilma: How much do you need?
Sheldon: Oh, even a droplet is enough to restore him!
The girls cheer.
Ally: Perfect! Now things can get back to normal!
Squilma: You said it, Ally-Squinn!
Octabby smiles at Octanner.
Octabby: This is excellent to hear, right, Octanner?
Octanner: Uh...yeah, I guess it is...
Callie: Ooh, let's throw a party at The Shoal to celebrate! Squidley LOVES that place!
Squilma: Yeah, and we can invite all our friends!
Ally: Oh, this is going to be so much fun!
Octanner: Yeah...great...
Octanner stares at his feet.
Octanner's thoughts: This is getting confusing...am I an Inkling or an Octoling...? It'd be easier if I were both...
Scene 8: Tentakeel Outpost: Night
Squika awakens outside Cuttlefish Cabin. He sits up slightly and looks around.
Squika: What happened...?
Suddenly, a pair of black boots lands in front of him. Squika slowly looks up, revealing an Octopus Amazon.
Squika: Hey, you're one of those Taco Zesties, are you not...?
The Octopus Amazon scowls.
Octopus Amazon: Baka! Watashi wa Tako! (Idiot! I am an Octoling!)
Squika: Oh...my apologies.
Octopus Amazon: Baka ika! Anata wa watashi no imōto to nani o shimashita ka? (Idiot Inkling! What have you done with my sister?)
- Octanner's Holiday Snaps - Week 1:
- Hi all! I'm
SquigleyOctanner, and I've decided to keep a log of the travels I did while coming to terms with my transition from Inkling to Octoling.
My first stop was a ship called the S.S. Hime-chan, which is a replica of the famous Manta Maria. Apparently, Off the Hook heard about my story, and so Marina organised for me to take a week-long cruise aboard Pearl's very own replica sea vessel!
I didn't get to meet either member during the voyage, but I DID get to meet another Octoling who took my photo while on-board:
Affix photo here
When printed
He even gave me a sweet weapon called an Octo Shot, a traditional Octoling shooter, and I'm seriously considering it as my main weapon for Turf War. 'Til next time!
-SquigleyOctanner
____________________________
“Doughemian Rhapsody”
Recording attempt no. 314,159,265
(“Over three-hundred-million takes, and this was the best one… uggghhhhh… let’s make it a Ten Second Weird and call it a wrap!”)
Jar of mayo!
Jar of mayo…
Jar of mayo! Jar-
Jar of may-
-f Mayo! Ja-
Jar of Mayo, nomnomnom!
Buh buh buh BA-Aaa-aaa-ooo-…
Oh… you were off-key the whole time!
I was NOT!
—
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Re: Octanner no Monogatari: A Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion Fan-Fiction by GeekyGamerZack
November 11th 2018, 11:33 pm
Episode 2: Splatroid: Return of Squiggles!
AKA "The Döppelganger Episode"
AKA "The Döppelganger Episode"
- Part 1:
- Scene 1: Ammo Knights: Afternoon
We see a view of Sheldon's face.
Sheldon: I've done it!
Inklinda's voice: Like, done what or whatever?
The scene cuts to a view of Octanner, Squilma, Inklinda, Octabby and Ally-Squinn standing next to a machine labelled "OC-2-SQUID MACHINE".
Sheldon: I have constructed a machine that should reconstitute Squigley's molinkular structure back to his original Inkling form!
Squilma: Uh...didn't you build this contraption four months ago?
Sheldon: Well, yes, but someone converted it into a toffee machine, and it's taken this long to fix it...
Squilma: Darn it, Squika!
Inklinda: Actually, I think Inklein's the one to blame for this.
Ally: And why would you assume that?
Inklinda: Because he's good with machines.
Squilma: He is?
Inklinda: And toffee is his favourite food. Plus, he begged me to let him do it.
The scene wipes to a view of Inklinda on her knees near Inklein and the machine.
Inklinda: PLEEEEEEEASE do this for me, Inklein!
Inklein: But wouldn't that be a bad thing?
Inklinda: I'll let you be my friend if you do!
Inklein: Silly Lindie! I'm ALREADY your friend! Silly Lindie!
Inklinda: And I'll buy you a small drink at The Crust Bucket with your employee discount!
Inklein whips out a wrench from thin air.
Inklein: Let's do this.
The scene wipes back to the present.
Squilma: Ooh, that Inkle-butt! His sugar lust knows no bounds!
Ally: I guess we can't blame Inklinda this time, can we? I mean, she hates sugar, so she has no motive to do this.
Inklinda: You, like, know me so well, Andi.
Ally: "Ally".
Inklinda: Yeah, Ally.
Inklinda's thoughts: They must never know I'm attracted to the new Squigley...
Octabby: You have been most quiet, Octanner-kun. Is something on your mind?
Octanner looks at Octabby.
Octanner: Hm? Yeah, I've spent months trying to decide if I want to change back.
Ally: What?!
Ally's thoughts: But...he HAS to be restored! Otherwise...
Octanner: And I've decided to do it.
Ally: I KNEW you would! I mean...um...woohoo...
Squilma: So hurry up already!
Octanner: Uh-
Squilma shoves Octanner into the machine and slams the door.
Squilma: Shelster! How do you start this thing?
Sheldon: You wish to activate it, Agent 4?
Squilma: Yep! I got Squiggles into this mess, so I'm gonna fix-
Inklein's voice: Hi, peeps! What's everyone doing next to the machine that Inklinda begged me to turn into a toffee maker?
Ally: Inklinda!
Inklinda: What? That's, like, ridiculous or whatever! HAHAHAHAHAInkleinyouaresosplattedwhenwegethome.
Inklein: Ooh, a big blue button!
Squilma: Inklein, no!
Inklinda: Inklein, yes!
Inklein presses the button. A splat sound is heard.
Squilma: Squiggles!
Octabby: Octanner-kun!
Octanner's voice: Uh...could someone please open the door...?
Squilma: Sheldon!
Sheldon: Uh...right.
Sheldon punches in a code, and the door opens. Octanner runs out, seemingly in a panic.
Ally: Squigley, what's wrong?
Octanner: Th-There's a...a THING in there!
Squilma: A...thing?
Squilma looks in the chamber. A toffee statue of Octanner's original Inkling form is inside.
Squilma: Uh...it's a toffee you...
Octanner: Yeah, but it talks!
Squilma: Squigley, it's a piece of ca-
Toffee Squigley: Hello? Is someone there? I can't hear you too well 'cause my ears are blocked by sticky goop. Also, my eyes seem to be glued shut, so I can't see you. Hello?
Everyone except Inklein is shocked.
Inklein: Wow...talking candy! I must be a genie, yes!
To be Continued...
- Part 2:
- Scene 2: Inkopolis Square: Afternoon
Octanner, Squilma, Inklinda, Inklein, Ally and Octabby stand with the toffee Squigley near The Crust Bucket.
Inklinda: So...why are we, like, standing outside with this thing or whatever?
Inklein: Because the sun's rays will soften up the toffee-
Ally: -which will, in turn-
Inklinda: Uh...I was talking to INKLEIN, not you, Princess.
Ally: All I'm saying is that Inklein is a genius!
Inklinda: Oooookay, I think someone needs to rehydrate...
Squilma: Actually, Inklein's been saying a LOT of intelligent things lately...
Inklein: Heheheh, Jellyfish look like jelly noodles with a jelly dumpling on top!
Squilma: ...though he usually follows up with a very Inklein turn of phrase.
Toffee Squigley: Okay, I'm starting to freak out!
Octanner: YOU'RE freaking out?!
Toffee Squigley: I mean, how long is it gonna take you to turn me into one of you, Octavio?!
Squilma's left eye squints.
Squilma: Did...it just mention Octavio...?
Inklein: Hm...I have a hunch...
Inklein grabs onto the toffee Squigley's forearm and pulls, tearing away a chunk of candy and revealing pale skin underneath.
Squilma: Does anyone else see what I'm seeing?
Inklein shoves the toffee chunk into his mouth and begins to chew.
Inklinda: Yeah, and it's 88 flavours of disgusting!
Inklein: My hunch was right! This IS toffee!
Toffee Squigley: Why does my arm suddenly feel a pleasant breeze in one spot...?
Octanner: I think I've figured it out!
Ally: So have I.
Squilma: What? What is it?
Octanner: I think...
Octanner nervously latches onto the side of the toffee Squigley's face and pulls, revealing a real Squigley face underneath, complete with the familiar Painter's Mask.
Squilma: Squigley? But...how-
"Squigley": Squilma! What happened? He turned me into an octopus, didn't he? Oh...this is not good!
Octanner: He's...me.
"Squigley": Wait...are we in Inkopolis Square? And why are there Oct-
"Squigley" pauses.
Octanner: Okay, I know what you're thinking, but just hear us out. We-
"Squigley": AAAAAAAAHH!!
Inklinda: Um...well, this is happening or whatever.
Inklein points to the toffee in Octanner's hand.
Inklein: Are you gonna eat that, Wiggles?
Inklein takes the toffee and bites into it. Inklinda dry-heaves.
Inklinda: 88 flavours of disgusting...
Scene 3: Ammo Knights: Evening.
Sheldon examines a now de-toffeed "Squigley" closely.
Sheldon: Hm...
Sheldon plucks a tiny piece of leftover candy from "Squigley's" quiff and rubs his thumb and index finger in a clockwise motion, before pinching them together. Inklein pats his belly.
Inklein: That candy was so good...hey, let's make another toffee Wiggles!
Squilma: You can't!
Inklein: Aw, why not?
Squilma: Because Lindie just destroyed the machine.
Sheldon looks at Inklinda.
Inklinda: What? I knew Inkle-butt would try making another candy Squigley, and I can only tolerate so much from him.
Sheldon: Yes...in any case, this Inkling is most definitely Squigley.
Squilma: But how?
Sheldon: Well, it seems that the machine restored the original Squigley from the ink sample instead of changing back Octanner.
Squilma: Isn't there anything you can do?!
Sheldon: Well, I could reconstitute the duplicate back into his component material, but that would be a mean thing to do to him.
Squigley: Yes, please don't do that.
Squilma: So you have Squiggles' memories?
Squigley: Only up to the incident in Octo Canyon. It seems I have a LOT of catching up to do. Say, where's Squika?
Ally: He's-
Everyone pauses.
Ally: Now that you mention it...
Scene 4: Unknown Location: Evening
We cut to a view of Squika locked in a cage, a dog dish labelled "IKA" next to him.
Squika: Four months locked in a cage with nothing but caviar and truffles to eat...why hasn't anyone rescued me...?
To be Continued
- Part 3:
- Scene... uh... 5?: Ate & Switch: Afternoon
”Squigley”, Octanner, Octabby, Inklinda and Inklein sit at a table. Inklein looks around.
Inklein: Huh...?
Inklinda: What’s up, Inkle-butt?
Inklein: Something’s weird...
Inklinda looks at “Squigley” and Octanner.
Inklinda: Aside from Squiggles sitting next to... himself...? I mean-
Voice: I’m BA-AAAAAAACK!
Squilma walks up to the table.
Inklein: I missed you so much, Wilma!
Squilma: Uh... I was just in the Little Woomy’s Room...
Inklein: Really? You were gone for AGES...
Octabby: Oh, is this one of the famous Inkling “squiddicisms” of which I’ve heard?
Inklinda: Oh, please. Inklein is, like, ANYTHING but witty or whatever...
Squilma: So what are we supposed to call the other one?
Octanner: Uh, RUDE.
Squilma: Oh, I didn’t mean you,
Octanner: Yes, but it was personally insulting by proxy.
Inklein: Wait... Wilma’s real name is Roxie...? Can I play with your baby centipede cocoon?
Squilma: Okay, did he lose a few I.Q. points since I went to the toilet a few minutes ago?
Squigley: Okay, you were NOT this way two months ago during the Octoling incident.
Octanner: Yeah... I think Inklinda’s starting to rub off on her, heheh.
Squilma: WHAT?! Why would you even SUGGEST that, Squiggles?
Octanner: Well, at least I have a valid excuse for being different.
Squigley: Really? Because I’d swear we were identical.
Octanner: Well, technically you’re younger than me in terms of memory delay.
Squigley: True. Cats judging battles of the New Splatoon...
Octanner: ...Octoling blue by the light of the moon.
Inklein: Wait... is THAT Wiggles-es-es’ son?!
Inklinda: Like, sure or whatever...
Squigley: Uh... but I’m not-
Inklinda: Squigley? Remember: this is INKLEIN.
Squigley: Oh... right, heheh...
Inklein: Yes. My name is Inklein... uh... Stinkline.
Inklinda: “Schminklein”, honey.
Inklein: Right, “Inklein Schminklein Honey”. It’s nice to meet you, Wiggles Jr.
Inklinda: Yes, Wiggles Jr. It’s VERY nice to meet why the fresh are you staring at me like that?
Squigley: Oh... uh... I was staring...?
Squilma: Looks like you have a romantic rival, Inkle-butt!
”Squigley”’s eyes widen.
Squigley: Uh-
Inklein: Silly Wilma! Wiggles Jr. doesn’t love you, he loves LINDIE! Silly Wilma!
Squigley and Inklinda are dumbfounded.
Inklinda: Like... uh...
Squigley: ...uh.. or whatever...
Squilma: Thanks for spoiling the mood, Inklein...
Inklein grins.
Inklein: You’re welcome, Wilma!
Squilma: Honestly... what ELSE could ruin my-
Squilma is drenched by a spray of purple ink.
Squilma: DARN IT, SQUIKA!
Squika: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! HELP ME! SOMEONE... ANYONE... HELP MEEEEEEE! WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP!
Everyone but Inklein gasps. Inklein giggles.
Inklein: That’s our Squeaky, hahaha!
To be Continued...
- Part 4:
- Scene 6: Inkopolis Square: Afternoon
Octanner and Squilma sit near Deca Tower.
Octanner: I see they’re getting ready for another Splatfest...
Squilma: Yep! I can’t wait!
Octanner: Which means another Off the Hook concert...
Squilma’s left eye squints.
Squilma: Don’t tell me you’re still hung up on Marina being a former Octarian youth general...?
Octanner: Wait... you think that... no, that’s not what I-
Octanner’s eyes widen.
Octanner: There are KOTAKO* in the Octarian ranks?!
FUN FACT: Octoling children are called “kotako” in this fanfic, as the direct English counterpart to “squidling” would otherwise be either “octoling” or octopusling”, with both being needlessly convoluted and/or confusing for obvious reasons.
In fact, it is a similar case to the Squinda-Inklika controversy that led to Inklinda in my old body being dubbed “Inkid”.
Squilma: Thank you for that unnecessary exposé, Squeirdo.
Squika: Anytime, my dear Squilma.
Octanner: Wait... how long have you been... “standing” there...?
Squika: The entire time.
Octanner: But... the author only narrated Squilma and I as being in this scene’s introduction.
Squigley: Yeah. It’s like he’s gotten deliberately sloppy in the two-or-so spans of time that we’ve technically been absent for unique, yet not dissimilar, reasons.
Octanner: Agreed, although his variety of words has certainly-
Squilma: Wait... how long have YOU been standing there, Squiggles?
Octanner and Squigley: The entire time. The author DID narrate... hey, we’re speaking in perfect sync!
Squilma: Uh... I meant-
Octanner and Squigley: Endolphin Surge! Ink Me Up! Na-Na-Na-Na-Naaaaaaasty Majesty! Silly Lindie! Stoopid Octavio! ... ... ... RosetylermarthajonesdonnanobleTARDIS! I HAVE FURY! A dozen Plains Donuts! Angusteventhalliusimmonatticusius Ed! (Jynx’s cry from the Pokémon games)
Squilma: “Octanner and Squilma sit near Deca Tower.” THAT’S what was narrated, right?
Octanner: Yeah?
Squilma: And yet the other one’s here too, right?
Octanner: Uh... RUDE.
Squilma: Oh, you know what I mean...
Squigley: Well, we ARE still the same guy, right?
Squika: Not anyMO-ooooore...
Squilma: Then why are YOU here, Squeirdo?
Squika: Because I felt like it.
Squilma: So now you’re mastering the art of cosmic ad lib?
Squika: Nope, just hiding from the scary Taco Zesty in the next scene.
Squilma: Well, if she’s supposed to be chasing you in that scene, won’t your sudden absence cause some... temporal instability?
Squika: Nope. Squigley said he’d take care of it.
Squilma: Wait... which one?
Squika: The one who still goes by “Squigley”, obviously...
Squilma: Oh, that makes sense...
Squigley: Uh... I didn’t say anything of the sort...
Squika: Yes you did. You grabbed me and brought me here, and told me you’d account for my absence in the next scene.
Squigley: I’m telling you, Squika, that I didn’t tell you any of that.
Squika: Hm... this reminds me of that Salmon Run shift during which I saw you on the far side of the map, even though you were right beside me at the time.
Octanner: You WERE concussed at the time...
Squika: Yes? And?
Squigley: You declared war on “Random Extra”.
Squika: Only because-
Squigley suddenly vanishes in a pulse of green wobbles.
Squika: Welp, I guess there was a time limit on the duplicate’s existence...
Squilma: After Inklein tampered with the machine? I never would’ve guessed...
Octanner: But...
Squilma: What is it, Octanner?
Octanner: Sheldon stated that... “Squigley 2” isn’t just a clone.
Squika: The freshness is a “clone”?
Octanner: In terms of molinkular structure, he’s closer to being an aeon twin, meaning he has an entropically-stable-
Squigley suddenly wibbles back in the same way as he left.
Octanner: -mass...
Squilma: What happened, Squiggles?
Squigley: Uh... well...
Octanner: You’re squidding...
Squilma: What? What?
Squigley: Squika...
Octanner: ...wasn’t hallucinating...
Squilma: Huh? You mean-
Squika: I TOLD you he was there! See? I’m NOT a madsquid!
Scene 7: Inkopolis Streets: Afternoon
Squika is sliding through a busy street.
Squika: HELP! A dangerous Octopus Amazon is chasing me through the streets! And I was put back into this scene from a point in the not-too-distant future by a time-travelling Inkling duplicate, just so that I could maintain temporal STABILITY... I mean, how ridiculously selfish is THAT?!
Bystander: Oh, it’s ridiculous alright, Squeirdo...
Squika: WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP!
Bystander: Heh... what a madsquid...
To be Continued...
- Part 5:
- Scene 8: Inkopolis Square: Afternoon
Octanner, Squigley, Squilma and Squika stare at the clouds.
Squilma: Ooh, that one looks like a Shwaffle!
Squika: And that one looks like Inklinda’s navel!
Squilma: How can you POSSIBLY know what her bellybutton... oh yeah, the body swap fiasco. Never mind.
Octanner: And that one looks like the squantum formula needed for seamless transportation and transmutation of intelligent organisms from a different reality to this one through the use of Swimtendo Switch technology!
Squilma: Uh... what are you-
Squigley: Oh yeah... I should memorise this before it fades.
Squika: For what reason?
Octanner: Obviously so he can bring... uh... “us” through to this reality during the Ally-Squinn no Shinwa finale.
Squigley: Correct-a-Tidemoondo.
Squilma looks at Squika.
Squilma: Are you understanding any of this, Squeirdo?
Squika: Hm? Oh, yes indeedy. Basic Inkling Advanced Squantum Mechanics Level 50+... it’s Squidling’s play, really.
Squilma: Right... I keep forgetting your genius level I.Q..
Squika: Uh-uh-UH... “Ultra Deep Prodigy”, my dear Squilma, hohohoooooh.
Squilma sighs.
Squilma: I can’t believe I’m ACTUALLY sympathising with Inkle-butt...
Squika starts humming the Bridal Chorus.
Squilma: SQUIKA!
Squika: Sorry, sorry... I was just imaging... and then I was humming, and... never mind. You’d have to have been there.
Squigley: Not yet, Squika.
Squilma: Not yet? What are you-
Octanner: Seriously?
Squigley: M-hm...
Octanner: Whoa... heheh... Inklinda won’t like THAT!
Squilma: Okay, WHAT are you-
Squigley: Oh, she’ll, like, manage or whatever...
Squika: So she’s handling the catering?
Squilma: The catering of WHAT?!
Squigley: I like parties...
Octanner: Me too...
Squigley: Y-Yes... I know...
Octanner: Oh yeah... duh! Octo-brain... heheh...
Squika: Uh... RUDE!
Octanner: It’s just self-deprecating humour, Squika.
Squika: Oh, alright... say, when am I to be returned to the chase sequence?
Squigley: Scene 7? Basically as soon as you state the obvious.
Squika: Noted.
Squilma: Okay can SOMEONE please say something NORMAL for once?! Is that TOO much to ask?!
Inklein: Hi, Wilma!
Squilma: And of all people, INKLEIN comes to my rescue! My freshing HERO or whatever...
Squika: Actually, I was just testing my impressions... “Silly Squeaky! You can’t test impressions, you MAKE them! Silly Squeaky, hahaha!” See? I just did a flawless impression of Inklein.
Squilma: Gee, I NEVER would’ve guessed, Captain Obvious... Bra-freshing-vo or whatever...
Squika: Well, you could stand to compliment me more often, my dear-
A pair of hands suddenly snatches away Squika.
Squilma: See? I just did a lame impression of Inklinda, which makes it more authentic than your effort, and thus the superior-
Squilma looks around.
Squilma: Where did he go...?
Squigley: I just took him back to Scene 7 to keep the continuity stable.
Squilma: Stable...? You’ve been standing there the ENTIRE time!
Octanner: Yes. It was a future version of himself who grabbed Squika.
Squilma: So now HE’S gonna be duplicated?!
Squigley: No, it was me... from the not-too-distant future.
Octanner: And it’s only duplication if there’d be exactly two of us, which is already the case.
Squigley: “Replication” would be a far more accurate statement.
Octanner: Plus, two of us is more than enough.
Squigley: Heh... imagine the title of a multi-Squigley special: “The Polis with a Thousand Squigleys”.
Octanner: “The Tome of One Thousand and One Squigleys”.
Squigley: “Squigley: Mass Splattack!”
Octanner: Oh... that should’ve been the title of this episode...
Squigley: Agreed.
Squilma collapses to the ground.
Squilma: I hate science fantasy stories...
A jet of purple ink splats across Squilma’s face.
Squika: WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP!
Ichi: Baka Ika! (“Idiot Inkling!”)
Squigley: Ah, the immediate continuity’s sufficiently stabilised.
Octanner: Sweet! Let’s get Crusty Seanwiches to celebrate! You coming, Squilma?
Squilma: I’m living in The Twilink Zone...
- Octanner’s Holiday Snaps - Week 2:
It feels like forever since my previous entry... I guess I’ve been hanging around my timey-wimey replicate for too long, haha!
So this new pic is set within... Kelp Dome. Oh, I remember this day... a bunch of Veemos were throwing an impromptu Squid Party... or “Octo Party”, I suppose... and they let me join in! Oh, it was so much fun, you’d have to have been there.
Affix Photo Here
When Developed
It’s funny... I forgot all about this until just now... I guess it WAS a wild party, heheh... anyway, ‘til next time!
—Octanner
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Re: Octanner no Monogatari: A Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion Fan-Fiction by GeekyGamerZack
December 5th 2020, 9:55 pm
Squidkid Saga is BACK! WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP! 
Who else is pumped for the continued adventures of Squigley and thedoppelganger? 
Who else is pumped for the continued adventures of Squigley and the
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Re: Octanner no Monogatari: A Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion Fan-Fiction by GeekyGamerZack
January 8th 2021, 5:27 pm
Episode 3: Octanner's First Splatfest! (Technically)
AKA "The Sequel Splatfest Episode"
AKA "The Sequel Splatfest Episode"
- Part 1:
- Scene 1: Inkopolis Square: Morning
Octanner, Octabby, Squigley, Squilma and Squika are sitting at a table near The Crust Bucket, with Squika in the centre of the table.
Squika: So-
Squilma: Shut up, Squierdo! It's Inkopolis News time!
Squika: SOR-ry...
The scene cuts to the monitor.
Pearl: Yo, what's happening, Inkopolis?
Marina: It's Off the Hook, coming at you LIVE from Inkopolis Square!
Octabby's eyes widen.
Octabby: Oh... it's Ida-senpai!
Squilma glances at Octabby.
Squika: Ooh... they're announcing the new Splatfest theme!
Squilma: They already ANNOUNCED it, Squeirdo!
Squika: Whuuuuuuuh...?
Squigley: This is just a repeat for anyone who may have missed it the first time.
Octanner: Which is impossible for you, of course.
Squigley grins.
Squigley: Well... kind of, yeah...
Squilma: You are such a dork, Squiggles, heehee!
Squigley blushes from embarrassment.
Pearl: Ooh, here it comes!
Marina: I wonder what it will be...
The monitor displays two images against a half-pale yellowish green, half-pale reddish orange background. Both images display different types of sauce in a small dish.
Pearl: BOOYAH! Mayo vs. Ketchup! Wait... didn't we already do this one...?
Marina: Actually, Pearl, it says here the theme is "Tartare vs. Thousand Island".
Pearl: Oh... good. The last thing I need is a repeated Splatfest theme!
Marina: Well, I DOUBT they'd run out of fresh ideas so soon, Pearlie.
Pearl: Still... couldn't they have chosen a less familiar theme than condiments? Or at least choose sauces that look entirely different than mayo and the other one?
Marina: Ketchup?
Pearl: Tomayto, tomahto... STILL feels like they're short on ideas.
Marina: And you'd know ALL about shortness, right?
Pearl: Oh, HA-HA! At least I'm not a freakishly tall, Octechnopathic nerd!
Squika: Octechnopathic?
Octabby: Indeed, Squikkun. As Inklings can be Psyphalopods, so too can Octolings be Octechnopaths.
Squilma: Hey, yeah! Octanner's powers changed after he was transformed, right?
Octanner: Actually, it's just a theory...
Squigley: A GA-
Squigley suddenly blinks away.
Octabby: NANI?! ("WHAT?!")
Squilma: Oh, he's still getting used to his new Psy-pod power.
Squika: You're telling ME... I'm STILL having nightmares about being chased by that Taco Zesty!
Octabby: Oh, you mean my sister, Octopus Amazon Ichi!
Squika: Whuuuuuh...?
Octanner: I haven't actually tested my powers since the transformation. Uh... I think.
Squilma: Well, what's the harm?
Squika: Actually, I-
Octanner: You think I should... uh, I mean...?
Squilma: Yeah! Why not?
Squika: This could be-
Octabby: Octechnopathic powers are indeed amazing to behold!
Squilma: So what can Octechies do, exactly?
Squika: What I'm TRYING to-
Octabby: At its most basic, Octechnopaths have the ability to use the logical hemisphere of their minds to work with, construct and manipulate machinery.
Squika: This could be VERY-
Octabby: AND they can channel their logic magic into producing digital geometry and mathematical formulae into physical space in many, many ways.
Squilma: C'mon! Let's see what you can do, Octanner!
Octanner: Uh... okay, here goes...
Octanner places his middle and index fingers on each temple, before closing his eyes.
Octanner: Focussing...
Squika: I think that-
Squilma: SHUT UP, SQUEIRDO! OCTANNER'S TRYING TO-
Suddenly, an electromagnetic pulse bursts from Octanner's head, causing all technology within the immediate vicinity to suddenly shut down.
Squilma: -CONCENTRATE!
Octanner lowers his hands and looks around.
Octanner: Uh...?
Octabby: Sugoi... ("Amazing...")
Squilma glares at Squika.
Squilma: See? THIS is why you should've kept quiet!
Squika: Me...? YOU'RE the one who suddenly yelled out whilst Octanner was concentrating!
Squilma: Well, MAYBE if you'd SHUT UP for two seconds, I wouldn't HAVE to yell at-
Voice: AaaaaaAAAAAHHHHH!
Octanner's eyes flash once.
Octanner: Be right back!
Octanner stands up and runs away.
Squilma: NOW look what you did!
Squika: Oh, PLEASE! This is all YOUR F-
Squilma: My what? Go on: finish that sentence. I DARE you.
Squilma's eyes narrow.
Squika: Uh... well... thing is, uh...
Squilma: Yes...?
Squika: Uh...
Squika suddenly Squid Jumps away, pelting Squilma's tee with purple ink.
Squilma: You'd BETTER run, Squeirdo! *Sigh*...
Octabby: Ai desu yo... ("True love...")
Squilma: Yeah... wait... WHAT?!
Scene 2: Abandoned Subway Gate: Morning
Octanner walks into a pitch-dark alleyway.
Octanner: Hello? Is anyone-
Octanner looks at a stack of boxes.
Octanner: Oh... are you okay?
Voice: Mm... y-yes, I'm fine. Please leave.
Octanner: I can't do that.
Voice: I-I prefer to be alone.
Octanner: In a dark alleyway, without electricity?
Voice: It's fine.
Octanner slowly approaches the boxes. He sees a Vemo with emerald green tentacles tied into a ponytail. She is sitting in an alcove. She is playing on her Swimtendo Switch, which has a left Neon Green Oy-Con and a right Neon Cyan Oy-Con attached.
Octanner: Oh... I guess you ARE fine.
The Vemo doesn't look up from her game.
Vemo: Mm... yep! I'm playing The Legend of Pearlda: Fresh and Wild.
Octanner sits on a nearby box.
Octanner: It's one of my favourites, too.
Vemo: I just found and tamed a seahorse with perfect attributes. I named her "Amaimizu", which means "Sweet Water" in the Inkling language.
Octanner smiles.
Octanner: That's quite a creative name.
The Vemo smiles, though continues to focus on her game.
Vemo: Arigato Gozaimasu!
Octanner: My name is Octanner. What's yours?
Vemo: Mm... Octazura.
Octanner smiles.
Octanner: That's a nice name, too.
Octazura smiles with delight.
Octazura: You're nice. I like that.
Octanner: It's nice to be nice.
Octazura: Agreed.
Octanner: You don't mind sitting here, in the dark?
Octazura: Mm... I'm sure the power will be restored soon.
Octanner: Agreed. I... think I'll play something too.
Octanner whips out his Swimtendo Switch, which has a Neon Cyan Oy-Con on the left and a Neon Orange Oy-Con on the right, and begins playing. Squika suddenly splats into a nearby cafe window just as the power is restored, startling Spyke. He speaks with a muffled voice.
Squika: Oh, hey! The power's back on! Oh... sorry, dude! Wait... aren't you that urchin I met in Inkopolis Plaza? Funny how we keep meeting in back alleys like-
Squika slowly slides down the window, leaving a smear of purple ink.
Squika: Well, it was nice to see you again, Quyll! I'm just gonna-
Squika suddenly plops to the ground out of view. Spyke sighs and shakes his head.
Spyke: Ov AW the Squids to spla' on dat winda...
Spyke chuckles.
Spyke: "Dat's ah Squika!"
To be Continued...
- Part 2:
- Scene 3: Inkopolis Square: Afternoon
Octabby, Squigley and Squilma are still sitting outside The Crust Bucket.
Squilma: Ugh... where IS he, already?
Squigley: Who?
Squilma: You!
Octabby giggles.
Octabby: Don’t be silly, Squilma-yon! Squigley-ni is right there!
Squilma groans.
Squilma: And now INKLEIN is here, which means INKLINDA is here, too...
Squigley: That... wasn’t Inklein, Squilma.
Squilma: Oh yeah... well, whenever I hear anyone refer to me as “silly”-
Inklein’s voice: Silly Wilma! You’re not silly, Wilma! Silly Wilma, hahaha!
Squilma headdesks as Inklein and an unfamiliar Ngyes with pale pink tentacles approach.
Squilma (muffled): I blame myself for this jinx.
Inklein: Silly Wilma! You can’t catch Jynx in the Inkopolis Region! Silly Wilma, hahaha!
Squilma lifts her head with an expression of torture.
Squilma: Okay, just get your insult out of the way now, “Lindie”... ugh...
Ngyes: BOOYAH!
Squilma’s left eye squints.
Squilma: What kind of insult is that...?
Ngyes: The kind that’s NOT an insult, duh! You know me better than THAT, Nēchan!
Squilma: “Nēchan...?” Only ONE Inkling calls me that...
Squilma’s eyes widen as she realises the identity of the Ngyes standing next to Inklein.
Squilma: SQUENTIN?!
The Ngyes grins.
Squentin: Hi, Squil! What’s happening?
Octabby: Who is this, Squilma-yon?
Squilma: He’s... my squid brother.
Squigley: Like sands ‘neath flowing seagrass... so, too, are the Crays of Our Chives.
Inklein: Hey, you made a callback to my first ever appearance in the saga! It’s almost like you’re a time-centipede.
Squigley: You mean, “time-sensitive”, right?
Inklein: Hahaha! “Time-sensitive”... that’s a good one, Wiggles Jr.!
Squilma headdesks again.
Squilma (muffled): Don’t hang around this one too much, Squent, or you may develop Inkleinitis dumdumiphora... *sigh*...
Scene 4: Abandoned Subway Gate: Afternoon
Octanner and Octazura are still playing their games.
Octanner: Oh, look out!
Octazura concentrates, before making a big cheer.
Octazura: YATTA! (“WOOHOO!”)
Octanner: Wow, you’re amazing at this game!
Octazura: Mm... thank you, Octanner-tomo! I play Hare n’ Tear 2 every day, to make sure my skills are kept at optimal sufficiency.
Octanner: So do I, but you are definitely superior in skill level.
Octazura makes a small smile.
Octazura: You are very nice... not too many people are nice to me since I arrived in Inkopolis.
Octanner: I find that difficult to beli-
Octanner’s left eye squints.
Octanner: See? Not so good at this game...
Octazura: Mm... well, everyone is good at different things. If we weren’t, we would all be good at the same things and less so at other things.
Octanner: Wise words, to be sure.
Octazura smiles.
Octanner: Thank you, Octanner-tomo. I imagine all your friends are as nice as you.
Octanner: Well... heheh...
Octazura looks in Octanner’s direction.
Octazura: May you please introduce me to them?
Octanner: Of course... uh... if that’s what you’d like. I don’t want to force you if-
Octazura: Mm... yep! I haven’t met anyone since moving here, and I tend to be shy. You are quite brave in making new friends, so I’d like to be as brave as you in that regard, Octanner-tomo.
Octanner smiles.
Octanner: Sure. Let’s go.
Octazura: Mm... okay.
Octanner and Octazura leave the alleyway, carrying their consoles as they go. Squika regains consciousness as Octanner steps past him.
Squika: Uh... I feel like I’m missing an opportunity... oh, of course! Duh!
Squika slaps the back of his head... body... thing, knocking himself out in the process.
To be Continued...
- Part 3:
- Scene 5: Inkopolis Square: Afternoon
Octotroopers Alpha, Beta and Gamma, in their Inkling disguises, observe from afar as Octanner introduces Octazura to his friends.
Gamma: There they are... you both know the plan, right?
Alpha: Yeah! Hijack The Crust Bucket and give away all supplies of Shwaffles, Seanwiches and smoothies for free, thus beginning the slow, arduous and ultimately inconsequential process of putting that overgrown tempura out of business!
Gamma: Seriously...? You think THAT’S the plan?!
Beta: Oh, I think he’s developed a case of Inkleinitis dumdumiphora.
Gamma: A fair theory. At least YOU know the plan, right?
Beta: Sure. We integrate into their little gang, masquerading as members of their society, in an effort to extract information necessary for Tako-sama’s plans to “conquer Inkompopulous for the gory of the Octarian Umpire”.
Gamma facepalms.
Gamma: I think YOU’VE developed Inkleinitis dumdumiphora, too...
Beta: Actually, that was Tako-sama’s exact choice of words...
Gamma: Oh... that makes even MORE sense.
Alpha walks up to Beta and Gamma.
Alpha: Okay, I planted the fartnacles inside the truck.
Gamma: You WHAT?!
Alpha: Uh... because to drive away the overgrown tempura out of the truck so we can seize it!
Beta: And the idea of food hygiene DIDN’T cross your mind...?
Alpha: Nope. Only Tako-sama has cross-sections on his head.
Gamma shakes her head.
Gamma: You... are... ridiculous. Come on, let’s begin.
Beta and Gamma approach the group as casually as possible. Alpha pumps his fists.
Alpha: YES! The fast food liberation begins!
Alpha sniffs the air.
Alpha: Hm... smells like someone ate Tako-sama’s seaweed stew surprise for lunch.
Alpha races in his allies’ direction.
Scene 6: Ate & Switch: Afternoon
Squigley, Squilma, Inklein, and Squentin are sitting at a table.
Squilma: And then he dry-heaved all over some guy in a DJ Octavio costume!
Squentin: SQUILLIE!
Squilma laughs as Squentin's cheeks turn pink.
Squika: Wait... how could he dry-heave on someone?
Squilma: The same way anyone with a mouth can, Squika.
Squika: But... it's called DRY-heaving! There isn't anything TO-
Inklein interrupt-laughs.
Inklein: Silly Squeaky! This story is a SPLATOON 2 fanfic, and Splatoon 2 IS a "Anything 2"! Silly Squeaky, hahaha!
Squilma: Ugh... is he EVER gonna say ANYTHING intelligent and/or intelligible...?
Inklein: Y'know... the food in this place, while affordable, is of surprisingly good quality.
Squilma's left eye squints.
Squilma: Wait... the FRESH did you just say, Inkle-butt?!
Inklein: To put it simply, Squilhelmina, it's cheap AND tasty, an almost paradoxical combination in the fast food industry.
Squilma's eyes widen.
Squigley: Problem?
Squilma: Inklein sounding SMARTER than me...? Yeah... there MIGHT be a problem, Squiggles...
Squika: Oh, wish-wash, Squilma. Like Inklein always says, "In another few hours, the Sun will rise."
Squilma facepalms.
Squilma: I think the Author's doing the whole body swap thing again.
Squigley: Nope.
Squigley: Oh? And you would know... HOW?
Squigley makes a TARDIS engine noise.
Squilma: Okay, is EVERY character in here out-of-character?!
Inklein laughs.
Inklein: Silly Wilma! Every in-of-character knows the Sun DID rise two hours ago! Silly Wilma, hahaha!
Squilma stress-splats.
Inklein: Oh... Wilma just did what Lindie always does when I talk too much... is that a "out-of-character" like Wilma was just talking about in-character...?
Squentin: O... kay then... I think I'll come back when the plot is a LITTLE less nonsensical...
Squika: When's that, bruh?
Squentin: Well, first episodes are USUALLY not totally bonkers, so... the Inklinda no Gaiden pilot?
Squigley: In that case, I suggest buying an apartment in Splatsville while the property market's golden.
Squentin: You mean live WAY out in the sticks? Oof... tough call, considering I just bought a place here in Squilma's building.
Squika: Well, things are less random there until Splatoon 3 is released, my dear Squentin.
Squentin: Good point. Later!
Squentin super jumps out of the restaurant. Inklein sniffs the air.
Inklein: Mmm... what smells like spoiler in here?
Voice: For the next two minutes, FREE SPOILER SOUP FOR EVERY CUSTOMER WITH BLUE TENTACLES!
Inklein frowns.
Inklein: Aw... I wanted a spoiler free soup...
Inklinda's voice: Ah, THERE'S my favourite blue-tentacled Ngyes!
Inklinda enters and opens her arms to give Inklein a big hug.
Inklein: Oh yeah... thanks, Lindie!
Inklein super jumps away from Inklinda.
Inklinda: Like... what did I, like, SAY or whatever...?
Squika: Relax, Inklinda. It's just Inklein being Inklein, as usual. Now, I'm off to vote in the Splatfest poll. Toodlepip!
Squika super jumps away from the table, pelting the soup chef in purple ink.
Chef: Dark it, Squika!
Inklinda: Wait... the fresh is Squilma's brother?
Squigley: Oh, he relocated to the next chapter of the saga.
Inklinda: Moving away from the randomness in this episode?
Squigley: Well, you know how nutty the Splatfest specials get, right?
Inklein's voice: Silly Wiggles Jr.!
Inklein lands in the soup saucepan, spilling enough soup to flood the store.
Inklein: "Splatfest special" is an OXYMORON! Silly Wiggles Jr.! Hahaha!
Inklinda: I know someone ELSE who's an oxymoron...
Squigley: TECHNICALLY, that'd be me and myself, right?
Inklinda's left eye squints.
Inklinda: You DO realise that Octoling You's gonna walk in for, like, making that pun, right?
Squigley: Yeah.
Inklinda: Good, then no-one's gonna be surprised by the interru-
Voice: Mind if we join you?
Squigley and Inklinda watch as Octotroopers Alpha, Beta, and Gamma reach the table.
Inklinda: Wait... YOU'RE not Octolings! What have you done with the Alpha Squigley or whatever?!
Alpha: Stoopid Ika! My name's "Alpha," not "Alpha Squigley." Stoopid Ika, huhuhuh!
Inklein: Hey, I got my OWN Inklein Jr., just like Wiggles has a Wiggles Jr.!
Squilma stress-splats.
Inklein: Silly Wilma! You're ALREADY stress-splatted!
Alpha: Yeah, stick to the fourth wall, Stoopid Wilma!
Inklein: Silly Wilma!
Alpha: Stoopid Wilma!
Inklein: Silly Wilma!
Alpha: Stoopid Wilma!
Inklinda gurgles as Inklein and Alpha continue in the background.
Inklinda: I'm surrounded by oxymorons... ugh... or whatever...
To be Continued...
- Part 4:
- Scene 7: Inkopolis Streets: Afternoon
Octanner and Octazura stand at a police guarded barricade.
Octanner: Wait... why can't we go through here, Officer Stinkline?
Officer: There's been a disruption at a local business.
Octanner: Oh... that was probably me.
Officer: Mm... no, the culprit has blue tentacles.
Octanner: Yeah, that's me. Well... sort of, anyway.
Officer: No, the culprit is apparently a friend of Inklinda Squatson's.
Octanner: Again, that would be me.
Officer: No, Inklinda Squatson only has two friends, and they're both at the scene.
Octanner: Well... there ARE two of me, y'know.
Officer: No kidding...?
Octanner: Yeah, one's a time-travelling Inkling duplicate of my original body.
Officer: Does he have green tentacles?
Octanner: Yeah... do you know him?
Officer: Not personally, but my twin cousin never shuts up about you.
Octanner: Aw, that's so sweet of him... no wonder Inklinda likes him so much!
Officer: Also, his girlfriend Wilma once filed a missing persons case to find you.
Octanner: Oh, that... it was all just a misunderstanding involving a secret menace that once threatened Inkopolis.
Officer: Oh yeah... the Octarian Empire.
Octanner: Um... you know about that?
Officer: Of COURSE I do! That Octavio fellow prank calls me EVERY lunchtime!
Octanner chuckles.
Octanner: Tell me about it...
Officer: Anyway, I know full well that you're not the one who caused this mess.
Octanner: Really?
Officer: Not unless my cousin has an Octoling doppelgänger of his own. Who also happens to be you.
Octanner: Nah, the plot's convoluted enough as it is.
Officer: Silly Wiggles Jr.! You can't loot a plot convo! Silly Wiggles Jr.! Hahaha!
Octanner sighs.
Octanner: Sorry, Octazura. Looks like Ate & Switch is out of the question right now.
Octazura: Mm... that's okay.
Octanner: We could go vote for a Splatfest theme instead, if you like?
Octazura: Mm... actually, I'm moving away to another city soon.
Octanner: Oh. When, exactly?
Octazura: Eight minutes from now.
Octanner: Oh... alright then. It was nice to meet you.
Octazura: Mm... likewise. See you in Inklinda no Gaiden!
Octazura super jumps away.
Octanner: Hm... I wonder what I should do until-
Officer: Okay, the road's open again.
Octanner: Really? That was quick.
Officer: Well, the cleaning doesn't take long when my cousin eats it all up. ESPECIALLY when it's all food.
Octanner: Alright. Take care, Officer Stinkline!
Octanner races in the direction of Ate & Switch.
Officer: What an oxymoron... heheh... my cousin is right, he IS a silly Wiggles Jr.! Hahaha!
Scene 8: Ate & Switch: Afternoon
Octanner reaches the table just as Squilma reconstitutes.
Inklein: Silly Author! Reconstitutes isn't a word! Silly Auth-
Inklein lets out a huge belch.
Inklein: Ooh... I'm SO full...
Inklinda: Well, you shouldn't have eaten every copy of Kirby and the Forgotten Land or whatever...
Octanner: Uh... I was expecting things to be upside down.
Squika's voice: No, that's just me.
Octanner looks up. Squika is stuck to the ceiling. He waves a tentacle.
Squika: Hellur.
Octanner: Did I miss anything?
Squika plops onto the table.
Squika: Well, we met the most interesting fellow mere minutes before moving to another chapter of the saga.
Octanner: What a coincidence... so did I!
Squigley: And someone called me an oxymoron.
Octanner: Me too!
Inklinda: And I bore witness to Squika splatting onto a hard surface before dropping to the ground!
Octanner: Well, I didn't see that... but I was in close proximity to a similar occurrence involving him!
Squika: Doesn't that seem a TAD coincidental, Octanner...?
Squilma: Yeah, and why are things suddenly happening in THREES all of a sudden?!
Everyone looks at Squilma.
Squilma: What? I hadn't spoken since I respawned, and it was the first thought that came to mind.
Inklinda: Hey, yeah... I mean, have there even BEEN any Number 8 references in this episode yet?
Inklein: Number 8... *BURP* ... Number 8... *BURP* ... Number 8... *BURP*
Squilma, Inklinda, and Gamma facepalm in unison.
Squigley: Wait... I know that third facepalm sound effect...
Squigley and Octanner's eyes widen.
Octanner: So do I...
Squika: ALRIGHT, Octanner! We GET the f-
Squigley & Octanner: OCTOBEL?!
Gamma: Wait... WHAT?!
Gamma's disguise device shatters, zapping her with electricity and knocking her out.
Alpha: Silly Wiggleseses!
Inklein: Yeah, Stoopid Wiggleseses... ses!
Alpha and Inklein start laughing like Beavis and Butt-Head.
Squilma: ...or whatever.
To be Continued...
- Part 5:
- Scene 9: Ammo Knights: Morning
Octotrooper Gamma wakes with a start.
Gamma: ICE-CREAM!
Inklein’s voice: Mmm… purple…
Gamma sits up and looks around. Ally, Squigley, Octanner, and Inklein are standing there.
Ally: Octobel…?
Gamma nods and smiles.
Octobel: Hai, Miss Ally!
Inklein: Silly Gumbell! Her name’s not Me Sally, it’s SCRUBBERELLA! Silly Gumbell, hahaha!
Octobel: Oh, hello, Inkleene!
Inklein grins and waves.
Inklein: Hi, Gumbell!
Octobel: And Squigley the Tidewatcher!
Squigley: Uh… Tidewhat?
Inklein laughs.
Inklein: “Cha”… that’s a good one, Gumbell and Wiggles Jr.!
Octanner: It seems to be your title.
Squigley: Since when?
Octobel: It’s what they called you when we met.
Squigley: When “we” met?
Octobel: You’re the one who suggested I attend Inkroy’s Octoling support group, remember?
Squigley ponders.
Squigley: Fascinating…
Ally: What’s she talking about, Squiggles?
Squigley: Remember when you told me I’d saved Seth after you’d accidentally flung him over a balcony?
Inklein: Silly Scrubberella! Purple Squika isn’t an ink balloon! Silly Scrubberella, hahaha!
Ally: Oh yeah… you zipped back in time to save him, right?
Squika’s voice: Lousy temporal stability… what’d it ever do for ME?!
Squika is suddenly there. He is sitting on Inklein’s head.
Octanner: How about prevent total event collapse of your life, thus keeping you from blinking out of existence?
Squika: (Grumbling) … I’ll blink YOU out of existence if you don’t … (More grumbling)
Octobel: What happened to Tako-dumdum? Why am I an Inkling? And when are we going for our victory ice-cream?
Ally’s left eye squints.
Ally: You really don’t remember anything?
Octobel points to her bottom lip as she ponders.
Octobel: Hm… I remember my car being scratched by a nincompoop… and that’s all.
Ally smiles.
Ally: Come on, then. We’ll fill you in on the way to the ice-cream parlour.
Ally, Squigley, and Octanner guide Octobel to the door.
Octanner: Where’s Sheldon?
Squigley: Oh, he said he had to find the Great Zapfish or something.
Squika laughs.
Squika: That’s preposterous! The Great Zapfish isn’t missing!
Squika laughs some more… until the power in the shop suddenly goes out.
Squika: Hm… déjà vu… whaddaya say we get outta here before a Kraken gobbles us up, Blue Schminklein?
Inklein: I’M WEARING A TALKING HAT!
Squika gurgles.
Inklein: Wow… that’s a AMAZING Cracker impressionation, Squeaky! Did Toffee Podd teach you how to do it?
Squika: I feel like I’m coming down with a case of rampant stupidity… oh, dear…
Squika faints.
Inklein: My hat’s vanished-ed… oh, well! I’m gonna go get some purple… mmm…
Inklein runs away as a smear of purple ink runs down his face.
Inklein: Ominous…
Scene 10: Inkopolis Square: Morning
Squilma walks over to Octanner, who stands staring at the Splatfest voting booth.
Squilma: Haven’t you voted yet?
Octanner: After what happened yesterday, I don’t think touching anything electrical is a good idea…
Squilma: But Octechie powers only affect technological things, Octannles!
Octanner looks at Squilma.
Octanner: “Octannles” is as bad as Octugley.
Squilma: Well, it’s your fault for choosing a name that’s impossible to nick, ya Goober!
Octanner: Uh, RUDE!
Squilma grins.
Squilma: Oh, you know what I mean…
Octanner snickers.
Octanner: I guess so…
Squilma: Aight, Ally’s taking everyone for ice-cream to celebrate Octobel being mostly restored-ish. Wanna come?
Octanner: Wait… Octobel’s back?
Squilma: Yep! Looking forward to meeting her properly. Now hurry up and vote, and let’s go, go, go!
Octanner: Okay, I’ll catchup in a sec.
Squilma: Righty-O, Goober!
Inklein’s distant voice: Silly Wilma! Octobel’s name isn’t Goober, it’s GUMBELL! Silly Squilhelmina Anomalocaris Cray, hahaha!
Octanner reaches for the booth.
Octanner: Aight, I’m voting for T-
ZZZZZZZZZAP!
The scene cuts to black.
Inklein’s voice: Silly Author! The Great Zapfish isn’t Wiggles! Silly Author, hahaha!
- Octanner’s Holiday Snaps - Week 3:
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Affix photo here
when developed
Creepy voice: (Test failed.)
- OrionJZedAdminSuper Poster!This member has made a splash by posting over 10,000 messages and comments in our community!Mega Coinage!This kind user has earned over 50,000 Coins! Happy posting!
Re: Octanner no Monogatari: A Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion Fan-Fiction by GeekyGamerZack
June 12th 2022, 3:06 pm
Octanner Shorts: Mint in Box!
AKA “The amiibo Mini-Episode”
AKA “The amiibo Mini-Episode”
- Spoiler:
- Scene 1: Inkopolis Square: Morning
Octanner and Squilma are standing at The Crust Bucket. Crusty Sean hands each of them a Crusty Seanwich.
Squilma: Thank you!
Crusty Sean: Peace, squiddos!
Octanner: Uh... RUDE!
Crusty Sean: Right... sorry, uh... oc...octododo...?
Squilma: We’ll work it out later.
Crusty Sean: Yo, sure thing, Four!
Octanner and Squilma start walking.
Octanner: Did... he just call you “Four”...?
Squilma’s eyes widen as she looks in the opposite direction from Deca Tower.
Octanner: How could he POSSIBLY-
Squilma suddenly drops her Seanwich.
Octanner: Wow... that much of a problem, then?
Squilma: Not as bad as the freshness in front of us... *sigh*...
Octanner: What are you-
Octanner’s left eye squints.
Octanner: How the fresh...?
Inklein’s voice: Silly Wiggles! It isn’t “How the fresh...?”, it’s “What the FRESH?!”! Silly Wiggles, hahaha!
Octanner: Someone should call for help...
Squilma: AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Octanner: I... kinda meant like this...?
Octanner whips out his phone and dials “9-8-3”.
Octanner: Hello? [...] Uh... whichever of those services can help someone trapped inside toy packaging...? [...] YES, I’m serious! [...] Hello? [...] Ugh... I think they hung up.
Squilma: Uh... RUDE!
We cut to a view of Inklein, who is inside an oversized amiibo case at the rear side of Inkopolis Square.
Inklein: Hahaha! “Rear side” sounds like “butt”! That’s a good one, Author, hahaha!
The Author sighs.
Squilma: Hey, that’s exactly what I was gonna say! Heehee!
Sheldon’s voice: So THAT’S where he went!
Sheldon runs up to the scene. Inklein waves excitedly.
Inklein: Hi, Shelmet! I did wondered where you goed!
Squilma: Okay, let’s just cut to the chase: how the fresh did Inkle-butt get trapped inside this prison of plastic and papier mâché?
Octanner: Uh... actually, it was kinda my and my fault.
Inklein: Silly Wiggles! Mother Maiamai lives in the HYRULE Region, not the INKOPOLIS Region! Silly Wiggles, hahaha!
Squilma: By which you mean-
Octanner: Both of me, yes...
Squilma: But... you’re both intelligent! How... actually, your intelligence could’ve diminished when Octavio-
Octanner: Uh... RUDE!
Sheldon: Actually, it was my fault.
Squilma: Now THAT I believe.
Octanner: But Sheldon’s smarter than the entire population combined.
Sheldon: Not... the ENTIRE population... anyway, I “borrowed” molinkular samples from Octanner and Squigley-
Squilma: By “borrowed”, do you mean “took against their will”?
Inklein’s eyes and mouth widen.
Inklein: Oh, that’s CRUDE, Shelmet!
Sheldon: -in an effort to use modified respawn panels to reverse-engi-
Squilma: Seriously, Shellendorf, don’t you have ANY sense of ethics...?
Sheldon: -neer a means of instan-
Octanner: Is... he pausing EVERY time someone interrupts him?
Squilma: Yes. It’s one of his character traits.
Sheldon: -taneous travel betw-
Octanner: Then why hasn’t it been used before now?
Squilma: You’re the author avatar!
Octanner: Uh... RUDE!
Squilma: Sorry... “AN” author avatar...
Octanner: Thank you. And I can’t explain inconsistencies in the dialogue, since I’m just an author AVATAR.
Sheldon: -een two dista-
Inklein (intelligent tone): But Octanner, the premise of this fan-fiction is that you’re a human - the eponymous “Author” - who’s been pulled into our world and turned into an Inkling, then later an Octoling, before a duplicate of your prior Inkling form is accidentally created by me because I saw a big, shiny button the same colour as my tentacles, and thus couldn’t resist pressing it.
Squilma: Uh... whuh...?
Inklein looks around.
Inklein (“Inklein” tone): Hey... how did I get inside this plat-stick boxie...? Is there a Mr. Mimey nearby?
Squilma sighs.
Squilma: Dumdum...
Sheldon: -nt points. However, I can-
Squilma: Well, can you get him out?!
Sheldon: -get him out.
Inklein: Wow... I think the Mr. Mime used Copycat. That’s a good ‘mon, hahaha!
***
Two hours later...
A spawn pad is linked to the amiibo packaging, with a small crowd gathered around to observe: every main cast member and cameo character of Squidkid Saga (including characters not yet introduced as of this mini-episode’s initial upload); each version of every named character in the Splatoon series, including DJ Octavio; every rival, Professor, Gym Leader and Elite Four member in the Pokémon series; several WiiWareWave alumni and “WOO!” characters, including @Towafan7, Cranky Kong, Zed Starmute, dancing baby Finn the Human, and Gerry the cameraperson, among others; and a lone Mime Jr., whose face is pressed against the front of the packaging. Sheldon is performing some calibrations.
Inklein: Aw, it’s a Mini-Mime! So cute!
Inklinda: Is... that, like, a dancing baby human or whatever?
Squigley: No, that was last week, remember? When I played Dance Dance Revol-ink-tion?
Squigley suddenly notices
Squigley: Oh. Never mind, then...
Sheldon: I did it!
Squilma: Good, ‘cos it’s getting TOO crowded here...
Inklinda: Yeah! Like, why can’t people respect boundaries?
Squilma: Hypocrite.
Inklinda: M-hm... whatever, honey.
Inklein suddenly zaps from the amiibo case to the spawn pad.
Sheldon: There... hours of effort that didn’t go to waste.
Squilma: THANK freshness... I’m sure glad this is all over.
Inklein: Ooh, I wanna do that again!
Inklein snatches Sheldon’s remote.
Squilma: Inklein, N-
Inklein presses the button, and is instantly zapped back inside the amiibo packaging.
Squilma: Oh well...
Cranky: ”Oh, come ON! This whole thing is a mess! I’m gonna go and write my OWN fan-flick... with LOGIC! And MUFFINS! In fact... forget the FLICK!”
Cranky leaves. The spawn pad suddenly short-circuits and bursts away, leaving everything other than the amiibo packaging and Brocc Farshot covered in blue ink.
Squilma: Darn it, Inklein!
An amorphous inky blob in a vague effigy of Bryn glares at Brocc.
Bryn: And WHY exactly did you think this would be a fun excursion, Brocc?
Brocc: What? It’s just a little bit of I-
Bryn throws ink into Brocc’s face, but it weirdly slides off without leaving a mark. Brocc becomes sad.
Brocc: ...I’m sorry, Bryn.
Inklein: Yay! It’s PARTY TIME!
The Squid Sisters, Off the Hook and Chirpy Chips begin an impromptu concert. We pan to a view of Octazura, who watches from a ledge atop Ye Olde Cloth Shoppe. She giggles with amusement.
Octazura: Ah... Orokana Inkuraīn! (“Ah... Silly Inklein!”)
- OrionJZedAdminSuper Poster!This member has made a splash by posting over 10,000 messages and comments in our community!Mega Coinage!This kind user has earned over 50,000 Coins! Happy posting!
Re: Octanner no Monogatari: A Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion Fan-Fiction by GeekyGamerZack
June 20th 2022, 3:36 pm
Episode 4: An Ink to the Party!
AKA “The MC.Princess Episode”
AKA “The MC.Princess Episode”
- Part 1:
- Scene 1: Ancho-V Games: Morning
***
Chopscrewey
SashiMori
Splatune Records
***
The scene opens to a Turf War battle in Ancho-V Games as a purplish-pink tentacled Inklinda splats an Inkling with her Inkbrush.
Inklinda: YES! Another one bites the dust!
Inklinda pauses.
Inklinda: Weird… I half-expected Inklein to chime in with “Silly Lindie! Inklings aren’t made of dust, otherwise they’d be called DUST BUNNIES! Silly Lindie!”
Voice: Dude… that was a TOTES UNCANNY impression of that TUBULAR Inklein character, dude!
Inklinda looks at her afroed male Octoling teammate.
Inklinda: Well, I’m flattered, uh…?
Wayo: Oh, you can call me-
The Wayo is immediately splatted by pellets of yellowish ink from an unseen rival’s Splattershot Jr.
Inklinda: But… like… WHO THE FRESH-
Inklinda briefly ducks into squid form, narrowly missing a Burst Bomb flung at her from behind.
Inklinda: Okay, like, where the freshing fresh is Inkle-butt or whatever?
Squika’s voice: Pretty sure I saw him staring at a selection of games near the enemy team’s Spawn Pad.
Inklinda smiles.
Inklinda: Like, thanks, Squeirdo!
Squika’s voice: Anytime, my dear Stinklinda!
Inklinda giggles… before her left eye suddenly squints.
Inklinda: Wait… the fresh is he doing THERE or whatever?!
Scene 2: Inkopolis Square: Morning
Octanner, Octabby, and Squilma sit near The Crust Bucket. Each of them is eating a blue-coloured mix between a Shwaffle and a Seanwich.
Octanner: Wow, I can’t believe Crusty Sean let Inklein invent his own dish… AND name it after himself!
Squilma: Well, he’s been Employee of the Month every week since he started working here.
Octabby: But Inklein-nō is the ONLY employee, Squilma-yon!
Octanner: Why is he named Employee of the Month on a weekly basis?
Squilma: It’s just a figure of speech, Goober. No need to delve into the Octechnical nuances of it… unless you WANT to blow every fuse in Inkopolis Square again, teehee!
Octanner groans.
Octanner: All I’m saying is he should be named Employee of the WEE-
Octanner is interrupted by an Inkling accidentally Super Jumping into the back of his head and knocking him out.
Squilma: DARN IT, SQUIKA!
Inklinda’s voice: Uh… RUDE!
Squilma’s eyes widen as the squid reforms into Inklinda.
Squilma: Sorry, Inklinda, force of habit… although TECHNICALLY it’s still tr-
Inklinda: Like, don’t even THINK about it, Squil-
Inklein’s voice: Ooh…
Squilma and Inklinda both sigh in unison as Inklein approaches.
Inklein: Hi, Wilma and Lindie and Gabbarella!
Octabby: Ohayō, Inklein-nō!
Inklein: Ooh, I see you’re trying my special Blue Plate Special Cantabloop Schwinkle-Buttwiches!
Squilma’s eyes bulge.
Squilma: Whelk… there goes MY appetite…
Squilma pushes her plate away just as Squika Super Jumps onto it, splatting her with bits of Cantabloop Schwinkle-Buttwich.
Squilma: Ugh… and the AFTERTASTE… mmm… okay, I admit it tastes better than it sounds.
Squika: Weird… I was expecting the usual “DARN IT, SQUIKA!”
Octabby: Wow… that was a wonderful impression of Squilma-yon, Squikkun!
Squika: Why thank you, my dear Octabigail!
Squilma: Nah, we already did that bit, Squeirdo.
Squika: Phooey… I always look forward to it.
Squilma: Wait… for eel?
Inklinda: Oh, that reminds me… have any of you seen a Wayo with an enormous lump on his head nearby?
Squilma: Yeah, and he’s STILL unconscious from the blunt trauma…
Inklein: Silly Wilma! Wiggles isn’t a conchess, he’s a OCTOPUS DUUUUUUUUUDE! Silly Wilma, hahaha!
Inklinda: No, not Octanner… I meant a DIFFERENT Wayo, y’know?
Squilma: But… I thought all Octolings were female except for THIS Goober.
Inklein: But what about Inkroy Ikayaki?
Squilma: Who?
Inklein: You remember, right? From that time we were in the school being chased by that big orange Cracker, and also Gumbell was there but we didn’t know it because she wasn’t yet properly introduced to us? And Scrubberella and Lindie became frenemies?
Squilma: Wait… you and ALLY are frenemones?!
Inklinda: Inklein, I keep telling you: Wilma wasn’t THERE that day. Remember the Maki Shu story I told you…?
Inklein: Oh yeah… Silly Wilma! You weren’t there that day! Silly Wilm-
Squilma: AAAAAAAARGH!
Squilma Super Jumps away, causing Inklinda to become splatted with Cantabloop Schwinkle-Buttwich.
Inklein: Uh… did I did a speech fudge again?
Inklinda: Mmm… this IS delicious or whatever…
To be Continued…
- Part 2:
- Scene 3: Octo Canyon: Afternoon
Ally, in full Agent 3 gear, is under attack by Octocopters and a lone Octoling.
Ally: It’s times like this I really wish I had backup…
Ally’s walkie-talkie crackles.
Callie’s voice: -ɐlds puɐ ǝɯoɔ oʇ sn ʇuɐM ¡Ɛ ʇuǝƃ∀ 'dlǝɥ ǝɯos pǝǝu noʎ ǝʞᴉl ʞool no⅄
Ally: I’m kinda busy right now, One! Can you call back later?
Callie’s voice: ¡ssoq s’oɥʍ soʇɔO ɯǝɥʇ ʍoɥS ¡ƃuᴉʞɔǝɥɔ ʇsnɾ 'ʎɐʞO
Ally: Copy that.
Callie’s voice: ¡ʎɐʞ‘
Ally splats the Octocopters with a Splat Bomb.
Ally: YES! Now for-
Callie’s voice: ¿ɐʎ llᴉʍ 'ɹǝʇuᴉɹd ǝɥʇ uᴉ ɹǝdɐd ɟo lloɹ ɹǝɥʇouɐ pɐo˥ ¡ǝᴉɹɐW 'o⅄
Ally: Uh… Callie?
Ally pauses and grabs her walkie-talkie.
Marie’s voice: Firstly, “One,” you’re holding your walkie-talkie upside down again.
Ally’s left eye squints as she stares at her walkie-talkie.
Callie’s voice: Better?
Marie’s voice: Sigh…
Callie’s voice: What?
Marie’s voice: I said “Sigh…”
Callie’s voice: Oh… sorry, Wilma! I thought you were my cousin!
Marie’s voice: I AM your cousin…
Callie’s voice: Whoa… talk about an upside down plot twist by the Author…
Marie’s voice: Secondly, why do you want me to load paper into a printer we haven’t used since the Callie vs. Marie Splatfest?
Callie’s voice: That contest was rigged, I tell ya! Team Callie should’ve won!
Marie’s voice: (Way to not answer my question…)
Callie’s voice: Oh… PRETTY sure Three wants print copies of DJ Octavio selfies or something.
Marie’s voice: Why would she want that…?
Callie’s voice: I ‘unno… wanted posters, maybe?
Ally: No… Callie, it was just a figure of… actually, that’s not a bad idea. Good thinking, One!
Callie’s voice: It was YOUR idea, Three!
Ally: What…? No, It-
Marie’s voice: Three? Just… don’t bother arguing and take the credit.
Ally: But I-
Marie’s voice: Ally, TRUST me. You don’t have to deal with-
Ally: Alright, alright, I’m a genius. Happy?
Marie’s voice: Sometimes…
Callie’s voice: ¡H∀⅄OOq
Marie’s voice: Callie, for the LOVE of fre-
The walkie-talkie shuts off as Ally readies her Hero Charger.
Ally: Right… now, where were we?
The Octoling taps her foot impatiently.
Octoling: Baka Ika! (Idiot Squid!)
Ally: Right… time for a LITTLE spla-
Voice: Sigh…
Ally looks to her right.
Ally: Sorry, One sec…
The Octoling throws her Octo Shot to the ground in a fit of impatience as she sits on a nearby boulder, looking at her watchless wrist.
Ally: I wondered if you’d show up, Squil-
Ally’s left eye squints.
Ally: …the fresh?
Voice: I’ve been wondering the same thing or whatever…
The scene cuts to a full view, revealing Inklinda in a blue Kraken onesie.
Ally: Well, well… if it isn’t Agent Zero.
Inklinda: Oh yeah? Well you… ugh, I’m, like, too blue to even think of a snappy comeback.
Ally: So I see… and smell.
Inklinda’s left eye squints.
Inklinda: Like… what?
Ally: You reek of Cantabloop Schwinkle-Buttwich.
Inklinda: And you smell like the rankiest pit-stain in the whole history of Fort Ever, but you don’t hear ME calling you out on it, do you?
Ally: Uh… TECHNICALLY you just did.
Inklinda sighs as Ally sits next to her.
Ally: Wanna talk about it?
Inklinda: Like, with YOU or whatever?
Ally: YES with me or whatever! We’re frenemones, remember?
Inklinda frowns.
Inklinda: That’s the problem.
Ally: How is my trying to comfort you a problem?!
Inklinda: Because Squilma’s jealous or something or whatever…
Ally: Of me? Why?
Inklinda: I dunno! Do I LOOK like an empathetic Woomy to you?
Inklein’s voice: Silly Lindie! You’re not dumb-pathetic! Silly Lindie, hahaha!
Ally sighs.
Ally: He’s GOTTA stop breaking the Fourth Wall like that…
Inklinda laughs, then frowns.
Inklinda: NO! I can’t, like, DO this right now… or EVER!
Inklinda Super Jumps away, leaving her costume behind.
Ally: How’d she-
Inklein’s voice: Silly Lindie! You forgot the “WHAT” in “or WHATEVER!” Silly Lindie, hahaha!
Ally: Sigh…
Octoling’s voice: Hurry up! Baka Ika!
Ally’s eyes bulge.
Ally: Coming!
Ally readies her Hero Charger as she runs in the direction of the Octoling.
Ally’s voice: Ready for some FUN, Octarian?
Octoling’s voice: Hai! (Yes!)
Ally’s voice: Then get ready for the biggest Turf War of your LIFE, mi compadre!
Octoling’s voice: YAAAAAAAAAY! Arigatō Gozaimasu, Biyo-san! (YAAAAAAAAAY! Thank you so much, Miss Body Odor!)
To be Continued…
- Part 3:
- Scene 4: Squilma’s Pad: Evening
We see Octanner laying on Squilma’s couch, still unconscious. He suddenly opens his eyes.
Octanner: TEST FAILED! AAAAAAAAH!
Octanner sits up and looks around.
Octanner: …the fresh AM I?
Squilma’s voice: You okay, Goob-
Octanner: AAAAAAAAH!
Octanner panics as Squilma enters the room. The television screen bursts, causing rainbow liquid to ooze from the cracks.
Squilma: Way to BLOW, Octopus duuuuuuuude…
Octanner: Sorry, heheh… also, uh… RUDE!
Squilma: Whaddaya expect? Inkopolis wasn’t designed with Octechie powers in mind!
Octanner: I’d say “fair enough,” but I didn’t CHOOSE to be turned into a Wayo, “Wilma.”
Squilma: Okay, that’s only adorable when Inkle-butt says it…
Octanner: Wait a freshing minute… do you think EVERYTHING Inklein says is adorable?
Squilma: What?! Th-That’s RIDICULOUS, Goob-
Inklein suddenly bursts into Squilma’s apartment.
Inklein: I’M A SALMONID! OOOB-OOOB-OOOB!
Octanner: …the fre-
Octanner glances at Squilma as she giggles.
Squilma: Classic Inkle-bu-
Octanner smirks smugly at Squilma.
Squilma: I do NOT have romantic feelings for Inklein Schminklein, Octanner No-Last-Name!
Octanner: Who said anything about “romantic”…?
Squilma tenses.
Squilma: U-Uh… wh-what are you-
Inklein: Did I did another speech fudge again?
Octanner: Alright then… I’ll believe you ONLY if my Inkling duplicate doesn’t spontaneously appear in this apartment exactly eight syllables from now.
Squilma: Challenge accepted, my dear Octanner! Oh… did I just say more than eight syllables?
Inklein: It sure sounds like you did, Wilma.
Squigley suddenly flashes into the room.
Squigley: BIG news, friends!
Squilma: That… doesn’t count.
Octanner: I said “eight syllables.” I didn’t say WHOSE eight syllables.
Squigley: Oh, is this the bit where Squilma’s latent feelings for Inklein start to-
Squilma: I SAID I HATE SCI-FI STORIES!!!1!
Inklein: Very good, Wilma! That was eight Sybil-lolz!
Octanner waves at Squigley.
Octanner: ‘sup, Twink?
Squigley: I just thought I’d warn you not to go to Crusty Sean’s truck this morning.
Octanner: A LITTLE late there, bruh.
Squigley: Wait… isn’t this dawn?
Inklein: Look out the window, silly!
Squigley sees the sun near the horizon.
Squigley: Is that-
Squilma sighs.
Squilma: My balcony still faces WEST, Twiddlethumb…
Squigley facepalms.
Squigley: Dusk…
Inklein: Your timing’s immaculate, Wiggles Jr., hahaha!
Octanner: You mean “inaccurate,” Inklein.
Inklein: Do I…?
Squilma giggles, prompting Squigley and Octanner to look at her. She sighs.
Squilma: For the last time, I. Do NOT. Like-like INKLEIN!
Inklein laughs.
Inklein: You’re right, Wilma! I’m not a Like-Like, because they live in the Hyrule Region and eat shields! Mmm… Hylian Shield…
Inklein drools loudly.
Squilma: See? How could I possibly fall for someone with the intellectual capacity of a crab frittata?
Squigley: Are… you squidding?
Squilma: No…?
Squigley: Inklein has an I.Q. higher than Squika’s!
Squilma: That explains a few things…
Octanner: Squika’s I.Q. score is 300.
Squilma’s eyes bulge.
Squilma: WHAT?!
Octanner: Whaddaya expect? That eloquence in his speech isn’t a fluke, y’know.
Inklein: Of COURSE it isn’t, Wiggles. Flukes are worms, and Squeaky’s words are not worms, because words and worms are cinnamons.
Octanner: “Synonyms.”
Inklein: No thanks, I already eat-ed a Cantabloop Schwinkle-Buttwich after my shift.
Squilma: But your shift doesn’t finish for another eight minutes!
Inklein: That’s okay, because Crusty Sean hired D.J. Octavio to be another employee so I could have some days off my job.
Squigley: I don’t know how my timing could be so inaccurate…
Octanner: You were only twelve hours late.
Squigley: Yeah, but it’s usually accurate.
Octanner: Thoughts?
Squigley: Well… have you spent an extended duration of time exposed to electromagnetic radiation?
Octanner: The kind used by Octarians in their antigrav technology, mind control devices, and comically oversized and energy inefficient machines of mass annoyance?
Squigley: Exactly.
Octanner: You’re asking if I’ve been exposed to a concentration of Octavio Particles powerful enough to distort the spatio-temporal fabric of reality in a hidden location several hundred leagues below the surface of Greater Inkopolis?
Squigley: Precisely.
Octanner: Not to my knowledge… as far as I know, I was on an eight-month tour of the world.
Squigley: How did that go?
Octanner: Eh, I had to cut my trip short for a currently undisclosed reason… and I was SO looking forward to visiting Alterna!
Squigley: Well, you know how the Author has a tendency to procrastinate, right?
Octanner: True dat.
Inklein: You’re telling ME… I mean, we haven’t even SEEN MC.Princess in this episode yet!
We hear a snippet of “#$@%* Dudes be #$@%* Sleepin, with Octanner answering his Octophone just before the censored-out bit.
Inklein: Oh, never mind.
Octanner: Yellow…? (“Hello…?”)
Inklein laughs.
Inklein: It must be Gabbarella, because her tennacles are all yellow an’ junk.
Octanner: Uh-huh… *laughs* … yeah, they’re here… yes, even HIM… uh-huh… m-hm… aight, we’ll be right there… yeah, hugs and kisses to you, too… aight, later.
Octanner hangs up and slips his Octophone into his pocket.
Squigley: Who was that?
Squilma stares at Squigley with an “Are you freshing serious…?” look of disbelief.
Octanner: Inklinda.
Inklein: Who…?
Squilma turns her gaze to Inklein, keeping the same look of disbelief.
Octanner: “Lindie.”
Inklein: Oh…
Squilma: And what does Agent Zero want?
Inklein laughs.
Inklein: Hahaha! That’s a good one, Wilma! Hahaha… I don’t get it.
Octanner: Something about a mid-life crisis.
Squilma: How can she have a mid-life crisis at HER age?!
Inklein: Silly Wilma! You don’t have to be seasoned to be a midwife crayfish! Silly Wilma, hahahAAAAAAAAH! THAT’S RIGHT, I’M A FISH!
Inklein Super Jumps away, crying out loudly the whole time as he splatters the living room with ink.
Squigley: Oof… looks like the aftermath of a cray-zy Cantabloop Schwinkle-Buttwich rave in here.
Octanner: Let’s go and cheer her up, Twink.
Squigley: Uh… why me?
Octanner: You’re the one who like-likes her!
Squigley: WH-WHAT?! HOW TH-
Octanner stares at Squigley.
Squigley: Let’s just go.
Squilma. Alright, just let me grab my-
Octanner: Uh… maybe you should sit this one out.
Squilma: Why?! Because I’m still FURIOUS at her for BETRAYING me while I was at CAMP FRESHING TRIGGERFISH?!
Octanner: No, because your “Octaiku Class” starts in eight minutes’ time.
Squilma: You know what those actually are, Goober. No need to keep using the euphemism, teehee!
Octanner: It’s more fun to use the running gag.
Squilma: Well, alright th-
Squigley and Octanner Super Jump away, adding green and cyan ink to the ink splatters.
Squilma: Ooh, looks like toothpaste-flavoured Schwinkle-Buttwiches are being added to the menu… nothing better for fighting tartar, I suppose… wait a freshing minute…?!
Squilma’s eyes bulge.
Squilma: Who the freshing fresh did Inklein say is working at The Crust Bucket?!
Scene 5: The Crust Bucket: Evening
We cut to an ominous view of The Crust Bucket. The sound of electrical zaps and D.J. Octavio laughter is heard in the background.
Voice: DUUUUUUUUDE… the assimilation is, like, SO in-progress, my squiddy pals and palettes… HYUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUH!
Inklein’s voice: Oh, hi, Octavio!
Voice: Wh-What are YOU, like, DOOOOOOOOIN’ here, Inklein duuuuuuuude?!
Inklein’s voice: I just forgot my Squidphone.
Voice: Oh, okay, duuuuuuuude… here’s your Squidphone that I TOTALLY didn’t snoop through, BRO!
Inklein’s voice: Wow… so trustworthy! Thanks, Octavio-duuuuuuuude!
Inklein Super Jumps away as yet more D.J. Octavio laughter is heard.
To be Continued…
- Part 4:
- Scene 6: Squatson Squindustries: Evening
Squigley and Octanner enter Squatson Squindustries, the company owned and run by Inklinda’s father.
Octanner: Funny… this place seems kinda familiar.
Squigley: For eel?
Octanner: Yeah… eh, it’s probably nothing.
Octanner sees a framed picture on a nearby wall resembling a child’s drawing. The image is signed “Inkleon Squatson, Age 8,” and titled “My Best Friend Squilma”.
Octanner: Huh.
Squigley: What is it?
Octanner: This painting.
Squigley examines the picture.
Squigley: Wow… looks like Squilma wasn’t kidding about her and Inklinda being friends.
Octanner: So… Inklinda used to be named “Inkleon”…?
Squigley: Yeah, after her father and grandfather.
Octanner: Hm… looks kinda like “Inklein.”
Squigley: Huh… now that you mention it-
Voice: Welcome to Squatson Squindustries. May I help you?
Squigley and Octanner turn to the receptionist. She resembles Squilma, though with amber tentacles.
Octanner: Yeah… we’re here to see, uh… Inklinda?
The receptionist grins.
Receptionist: Oh, you must be the Squigley Bros.!
Squigley: A-Actually, we’re not br-
Octanner: Wait… the SQUIGLEY Bros.?!
Squigley: Dude, use your INSIDE emotions.
Octanner: Huh?
Octanner notices the lights flickering.
Octanner: Right… let’s discuss it later.
The receptionist laughs.
Squigley: Uh…?
Receptionist: Guys, I’m just messin’ with ya!
Octanner: Is that standard procedure for the world’s only distributor of the Squatson WonderBrush?
Receptionist: Squillie’s right… sarcasm goes WAY over your fins.
Squigley: You know Squilma?
Receptionist: I should hope so, Cutie-fry! I’m her big sister, Inklorna.
Octanner: Whoa… and you work HERE?!
Inklorna grins.
Inklorna: You know it, Kahuna Blue.
Octanner: So where’s Inklinda?
Inklorna: Oh, she’s hiding out in her bedroom from when she was a squidling.
Octanner’s left eye squints tightly.
Squigley: You okay?
Octanner: Yeah… I think I’m gonna schnee… gonna schnee… gonna… hah… hah… hah…
Octanner’s mouth opens wide as he gets ready to-
Squigley: Oh, sh-
Octanner: ACHO-
The signal cuts out, replaced by a flash of static and white noise, before cutting to a view resembling the Turf War loading screen from Splatoon 2, with “Dubble Bath (DIY Remix)” playing in the background.
Inklein’s voice: Wow… what happened to the telecopter’s transfission?
Squika’s voice: Hm… it would appear Octanner’s sneeze has somehow interrupted the broadcast, my dear Inklein.
Inklein’s voice: Silly Squeaky! Wiggles doesn’t sneeze through the Fourth Wall! Silly Squeaky!
Squika’s voice: Then HOW do you explain-
Squilma’s voice: Alright, which of you two blunderheads knocked my cantaloupe smoothie all over the broadcast unit?
Squika’s voice: Wait… why do you automatically assume one of us did it?!
Squilma’s voice: Because YOU’RE prone to accidents involving varying amounts of liquid-
Squika’s voice: How DARE you imply that I’m a-
We hear a loud ink squirting sound.
Squika’s voice: Never mind.
Squilma’s voice: -and HE hates cantaloupe, so NATURALLY he’s liable to reach for the cup, guzzle the lot, and say-
Inklein’s voice: Mmm… yuck.
Squilma’s voice: Precisely, teehee!
Squika’s voice: Wait a minute… Squilma, since when do you like-like Inklein?!
Squilma’s voice: Not you TOO… *sigh*
Squika’s voice: Why the freshness would I like-like him?
Squilma’s voice: No, it-
Squika’s voice: I HAVE a girlfriend, y’know!
Squilma’s voice: That’s not what… um… you have a WHAT?!
Squika’s voice: And I KNOW you have a crush on ME, my dear Squilhelmina.
Inklein’s voice: Heheheh… “Squirrel Mama”… that’s a good one, Squeaky!
Squilma’s voice: Where are you getting this information, Squidiot?!
Squika’s voice: Your frenemone.
Squilma’s voice: If you mean Inklinda, she is NOT my frenemone! ALLY is!
Squika’s voice: What? No she isn’t!
Squilma’s voice: Whuuuuuuuuh…?
Squika’s voice: They haven’t been frenemones since Episode 7 of Ally-Squinn no Shinwa!
Squilma’s voice: WHAT?! I… I gotta find her and square things up before it’s too late!
We hear the sound of Squilma Super Jump away. Squika clears his throat.
Squika’s voice: So… any idea who spilt it?
Inklein’s voice: Oh, I’m sure it was just D.J. Octavio pulling a practical prank. He works at The Crust Bucket now.
Squika’s voice: He WHAT?!
Inklein’s voice: Oh, yeah… and I’m a FISH! OOOB-OOOB-OOOB!
Squika’s voice: Someone fix this thing NOW!
Inklein’s voice: Heheheh… silly D.J. Octavi-
Squika’s voice: AAAAAAAAH!
To be Continued…
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Re: Octanner no Monogatari: A Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion Fan-Fiction by GeekyGamerZack
September 12th 2022, 10:17 pm
Nice review lol. 
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Re: Octanner no Monogatari: A Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion Fan-Fiction by GeekyGamerZack
September 14th 2022, 10:41 am
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Bleach Thousand Year Blood War is upon us! W00t!
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Re: Octanner no Monogatari: A Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion Fan-Fiction by GeekyGamerZack
September 14th 2022, 2:47 pm
@TowaHerschel7 It’s an inside joke… and a running gag… and a catchphrase. 
Inklein: Silly Author! You can’t catch a phrase, because it’s IMMATERIAL! Silly Author, hahaha!
The Author sighs.
Inklein: Wow… you just did an inside joke reference to the running gag in which Wilma says her catchonomatopoeia… hahaha, that’s a good one, Author!
Inklein: Silly Author! You can’t catch a phrase, because it’s IMMATERIAL! Silly Author, hahaha!
The Author sighs.
Inklein: Wow… you just did an inside joke reference to the running gag in which Wilma says her catchonomatopoeia… hahaha, that’s a good one, Author!
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Re: Octanner no Monogatari: A Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion Fan-Fiction by GeekyGamerZack
September 16th 2022, 3:33 am
Squigleymission: Inklein States the Oblivious
AKA “Intermission”
AKA “Intermission”
- Spoiler:
- Scene 1: The Crust Bucket: Morning
Squilma and Octanner approach The Crust Bucket.
Squilma: So what are you ordering today, Octanner?
Octanner: Hm… do you think there are any Cantabloop Schwinkle-Buttwiches left?
Squilma: I doubt it. Knowing Inklein, he probably scoffed the lot!
Inklein’s voice: Hi, Wilma!
Inklein suddenly pops up inside the truck, startling Squilma.
Squilma: AAH! Oh, Inklein… don’t DO that!
Inklein: What…?
Squilma: Popping in unexpectedly!
Inklein: Silly Wilma! You and Wiggles just popped in unexpectedly! Silly Wilma, hahaha!
Squilma’s left eye squints.
Squilma: The fresh are you on about, Inkle-butt?
Octanner: Actually, he’s right.
Squilma: What…? We come to this truck every morning! How is it unexpected?
Inklein: This is a early cameo.
Squilma: Uh…?
Octanner: He means “an early intermission.”
Inklein: Hahaha! “Squigleymission”… that’s a good one, Wiggles!
Squilma: Wait… you mean the previous episode still isn’t finished?
Octanner: Correct.
Squilma: Then why skip ahead to the Intermission?
Inklein: Because someone stole Part 5!
Squilma: What? Who the fresh would-
Octanner: D.J. Octavio.
Squilma sighs.
Squilma: So the mid-season plot twist of Octanner no Monogatari is “oversized octopus moron steals 20% of an episode in a C-level fanfic”…?
Inklein: “Sea level”… HA! I get it! Heheheh… uh… I don’t get it.
Octanner: You forget, Squilma, that there’s no depth to which Octavio wouldn’t sink. Remember when he turned me into-
Squilma: -a hypersensitive, slightly arrogant version of yourself?
Octanner: Uh… RUDE!
Squilma: My point.
Octanner: Whatever… let’s chart a plan to get it back after lunfast.
Squilma: Agreed. Okay, Inkle-butt, we’re ready to ord-
Squilma realises Inklein has disappeared.
Squilma: …the fresh did he go?
Scene 2: Train: Morning.
The scene cuts to a view of a train travelling through a desert.
Inklein’s voice: Yay! I’m riding a train through the Calamari Dessert to find the missing minisode! Inkleene to the Save! WOO-WOO!
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Re: Octanner no Monogatari: A Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion Fan-Fiction by GeekyGamerZack
November 25th 2022, 6:37 pm
Episode 5: Super Marina Oct-Ink-Sea!
AKA “The DJ_Hyperfresh Episode”
AKA “The DJ_Hyperfresh Episode”
- Part 1:
- Scene 1: The Crust Bucket: Morning
Squigley, Octanner, and Squilma are sitting at The Crust Bucket.
Squilma: Gone?! What do you MEAN “gone”?!
Octanner: Uh… could you be more specific?
Squilma: About…?
Squigley: When you scream “gone,” are you alluding to Inklinda, Inklein, Squika, Ally, Seth, Crusty Sean, the missing episode chunks, or any and all sense of rational plot progression in this series?
Squilma: Like, any and/or all of the above or whatever… well, except the Squeirdo. He’s absent so often I couldn’t worry less about his safety.
Octanner: Well, he IS a danger magnet…
Squika’s voice: Uh… RUUUUUUUUDE!
Squilma: Oh, come on! You’re not even IN this scene, ya fourth wall-breakin’ anomaly!
Squika’s voice: Oh? And the Squigley Brothers amn’t?
Octanner: Why does everyone keep CALLING us that…?
Squilma: It’s just easier that way, Luigi.
Inklein’s voice: Silly Wilma! Wiggles’s name isn’t Lugia, it’s WIGGLES SEA-NIOR! Silly Spillma, hahaha!
Squilma: Okay, I’m not worried about Inkle-butt anymore… he sounds fine.
Squigley: You mean apart from bursting into your apartment yelling that he’s a Salmonid and casually mentioning about DJ Octavio being his co-worker at this food truck without batting an eyelash?
Squilma: The fresh is an “eyelash”…? Also, yes, apart from those disturbing-in-Retro Specs revelations.
Octanner: Okay, here’s the rundown in reverse order…
Inklinda’s voice: Ew. Never, like, say “rundown” in any context ever again or whatever…
Octanner: There’s never been any truly consistent plot progression to this series-
Squigley: Apart from the rough outline sketched by the Author back in 2018.
Octanner: Bro, the Fourth Wall’s barely stable as it is without-
Squigley: Ooh… so-o-orry!
Inklein’s voice: Hahaha! “Soooooooorry…” that’s a good one, Bee-anchor!
Octanner: Moving on… the missing episode chunks have been relocated to a place called… “the Crater”-
Squilma: Oh, near the Fall-Eye Plateau?
Octanner: Y-Yeah… and funnily enough, Crusty Sean’s on an expedition to see the Eight Squonders of the World, including the Fall-Eye Plateau, for his blog.
Squilma: Ooh… freshness!
Squigley: Seth’s on a global tour, now that he’s made it big as a solo pop star.
Squilma: Wait… I thought he can’t sing?
Octanner: No, he’s a Balloon Fish tamer in a travelling troupe of performers.
Squilma: Okay, that makes more sense.
Octanner: Ally’s been promoted to Captain of the New Squidbeak Splatoon-
Squilma: Wait… what the FRESH?!
Octanner: Sheldon didn’t tell you…?
Squilma: No, he DIDN’T, “Eight!”
Squigley: Wait… bro, YOU’RE Agent 8?! But I thought that-
Octanner: We’ll talk later, Twink.
Squigley sighs.
Squigley: Fi-i-ine…
Inklein’s voice: Hahaha! “Fine”… that’s a good one, Bar-reef!
Octanner: Inklein’s his usual, cheerful self, apparently.
Squigley: Apart from the fact he’s slowly metamorphosing into-
Octanner: Wait… the fresh are y-
Squigley: We’ll talk later, bro.
Octanner: Uh… okay then…?
Squilma: But now I wanna know about Inkle-bu-
Squigley: Sorry, you said to skip him.
Squilma: Uh… RUDE!
Octanner: And Inklinda’s been standing there the whole time.
Squilma: Wait… WHAT?!
We cut to a view of Inklinda. She’s still leaning against the truck in deep thought, as specified at the start of the scene.
Inklinda: Like, learn to pay attention or whatever, Bestie. Teehee!
Squilma: Oh… heheh, I guess I’m still getting used to the new-improved Inklinda.
Squika’s voice: Hey, that’s MY old, allergy-free body, technically speaking!
Inklinda: Classic Squika, hahaha!
Squilma: Okay, I’m still a little disturbed about you being so… I ‘unno, cheerful?
Inklinda: Well, I’m over my Woomy angst phase or whatever.
Squilma: Then drop the “or whatever” from your speech patterns, Lindie.
Inklinda: Like, don’t try to control me or sway my beliefs or whatever.
Squilma sighs.
Squilma: The more things change, the more they differ from themselves.
Octanner: Uh… what does that even mean?
Squilma: How should I know? I’m going through a philosophical phase or whatever… wait… d-did I just say-
Inklinda: -“or whatever?”
Squilma’s eyes bulge.
Inklinda: Aw, Squillie… you DO care or whatev-
Squilma: AAAAAAAAH!
Pearl’s voice: Yo! What’s with all the screaming?!
Pearl and Marina are suddenly standing there.
Inklein’s voice: Hahaha! “Pol’s Voice”… that’s a good one, Author!
Inklinda: I-Is THAT who I think it is?!
Octanner: Oh, Pearl! Marina! Hi!
Marina laughs.
Marina: It’s good to see you again, Eight.
Inklinda: Y-You KNOW Off the Hook?!
Squigley: Yep! They helped him out of a jam a while back.
Inklinda: And you, like, didn’t TELL me?!
Octanner: We weren’t dating then, Lee.
Squilma: Wait… Octanner, y-you and Inklinda are DATING?! Since when?!
Squigley: Inklinda helped him out of a jam a while back.
Inklinda smirks.
Inklinda: Not so “Zero” NOW, am I…?
Squilma: How can I be left with more questions than answers…?
Inklein’s voice: Silly Wilma! You’re not BRAGAGAGABLABBLE next Tuna-day! Silly WABABABABBLE, GLAHAHAHABBLE!
Squilma sighs.
Squilma: This mess is now o-fish-Ally a fiasco or whatever…
To be Continued…
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