Octanner no Monogatari: A Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion Fan-Fiction by GeekyGamerZack

Scene 1: Cephalon HQ: Night

DJ Octavio: Hachi...? But...why?!

Hachi looks at DJ Octavio.

Hachi: Watashi wa okiniiri janaikara! (Because I'm not the favourite!)

Hachi pulls off her sunglasses, throws them to the ground, then crushes them with the heel of her boot.

Hachi: And now, I'm leaving with these two gaijin!

Hachi grabs "Squigley" and Squilma's hands and leads them through the hatch. She stops and turns to look at DJ Octavio.

Hachi: And my name's NOT Hachi, mmkay? It's-

The hatch suddenly slams shut.

Hachi: Oh, just as I was about to have my big moment...

Squilma: I...why did you save us...?

Hachi: Because I'm NOT under his control! That scum deserves to be splatted for good!

"Squigley": Whoa...my head...

"Squigley" leans against a wall and slowly slinks to the ground, before changing to octopus form.

Squilma: Squiggles!

Squilma squats next to Squigley.

Squilma: Are you okay?

"Squigley" nods.

"Squigley": Yeah, just a little tired...

Hachi: Understandable, considering what you went through.

Squilma looks at Hachi.

Squilma: Well, why didn't you stop him?

Hachi: It's...hard to explain.

Squilma: What, you thought it'd be funny to see him turn into one of...of...you?!

Hachi: I couldn't because...he said not to.

Squilma: Who? Octavio?

Hachi shakes her head.

Hachi: I can't explain right now. Please, just trust me.

Squilma: How do I know you're not leading us into a trap?

Hachi: You need proof? Very well...

Hachi pulls an octophone seemingly from nowhere.

Squilma: I didn't know those uniforms hadd pockets...

Hachi: They don't.

Squilma: Then how-

Hachi taps on her phone's screen. The Calamari Inkantation begins to play. Hachi headbangs to the beat and begins to sing.

Hachi: ♫Ya weni marei mirekyarahire
Juri yu mirekerason

Kire hyari yoriherahe nyurahera
Nunnyura unera yurawera nyimerani

Hachi pauses the song. Squilma's eyes widen.

Squilma: You were touchd by the heavenly melody?

Hachi: Yes. You can thank the New Squidbeak Splatoon for freeing me, as well as countless other Octarians...well, FORMER Octarians.

Squilma's left eye squints.

Squilma: Then why let Squigley be transformed?

"Squigley" suddenly inks himself, though the ink puddle is green rather than aqua.

"Squigley": Sorry about that...

Squilma: It's fine. Save your strength. You'll need it for when we make our escape.

Hachi: Curious...his ink puddle is green.

Squilma stares at the puddle on the ground.

Squilma's thoughts: It must be residual ink from his Inkling form...maybe...?

Squilma: Hachi? Please carry Squigley out of this place.

Hachi: Of course, Agent 4-san.

Hachi lifts "Squigley" onto her shoulders.

Hachi: Ready, Octugley-kun?

"Squigley": Yeah.

Hachi begins to head for the exit.

Oh, but please don't call me that.

Hachi: Oh...um...Octugley-san?

"Squigley": No, I meant...uh, never mind.

Hachi: Are you following, Agent 4-san?

Squilma: Yeah, be right there!

Squilma snaps on a pair of yellow rubber gloves.

Squilma's thoughts: I can't believe I'm doing this...ew...

To be Continued...

Scene 2: Ate & Switch: Morning

Eight weeks later (give-or-take)...

Squilma sits at a table. She is picking at a plate of wakame. Squilma sighs.

Inklein's voice: What's wrong, Wilma?

Squilma looks up at Inklein.

Squilma: Oh, hey, Inklein. Wait...where's Inklinda?

Inklein: Who?

Squilma: You know...Lindie?

Inklein's eyes widen.

Inklein: Oh, she's just parking the pool.

Squilma: Parking the-

Squilma shakes her head.

Squilma: Never mind.

Squilma sighs again. Inklein sits down.

Inklein: What's wrong, Wilma?

Squilma looks at Inklein.

Squilma: I really miss Squigley...

Inklein: Aw, that's so sad. Was he your pet?

Squilma's left eye squints.

Squilma: What?

Inklein: Squigley sounds like a pet's name, right?

Squilma: Look, Inklein-

Inklein: Did he run away? Or was he taken to a farm upstate?

Inklein gasps.

Inklein: Oh no! Is he-

Squilma: WIGGLES! I'm talking about Wiggles!

Inklein: Oh...

Inklein giggles.

Inklein: Silly Wilma! Wiggles isn't a pet! Silly Wilma!

Squilma: For the love of-

Squilma sighs for a third time.

Squilma: Wiggles went on vacation a couple months ago. He said he'll be back "when he's ready", okay?

Inklinda's voice: Who the fresh is "Wiggles"...?

Squilma looks at Inklinda.

Squilma: Oh, hey, Inklinda. I was just trying to explain to Inklein that I miss Squigley.

Inklinda: I know what you mean. I can't stop thinking about him...

Squilma: Wait...do you...like-like Squigley?

Inklinda's left eye squints.

Inklinda: What? Why the fresh would you think THAT?

Squilma: Then...you're NOT interested in him?

Inklinda: Of COURSE not! You think I like-like him? Yeah right! More like HE like-likes ME or whatever.

Squilma laughs.

Squilma: What? That's ridiculous! The Great Za-

Squilma pauses.

Squilma: Sorry, force of habit. But seriously, Squigley isn't interested in you!

Inklinda: Oh? Are you SURE about that?

Squilma: Of COURSE I am! Besides, it wouldn't work out, would it?

Inklinda: I know what you mean. ME dating an OCTOLING? Daddy would cut my allowance if I did THAT!

Squilma rolls her eyes.

Squilma: It's nice to know that you care about things other than yourself, Lindie...besides, he's still the same Squigley!

Inklein: Yeah. You're so smart, Wilma...

Squilma grins.

Squilma: That's what people keep telling me!

Inklinda: And even if I DID like-like him, I can't, because I, like, already HAVE a boyfriend or whatever.

Squilma: You do?

Squilma slowly looks at Inklein.

Squilma's thoughts: No freshing WAY...

Voice: Um...hello? Agent 4?

Squilma turns to look at Hachi. She is wearing casual clothing, and her tentacles are yellow. Squilma stands.

Squilma: Hachi? Is that you?

Hachi smiles and nods.

Hachi: Yes. It is good to see you again.

Squilma: Likewise.

Hachi sees Inklinda and Inklein.

Hachi: Oh, are these your friends?

Inklinda: I wouldn't call us "friends", per se. We're more like close personal acquaintances or whatever.

Inklein: And I'm a fry cook!

Squilma: Oh, right! This is Inklinda Squatson and Inklein. I...don't know his last name.

Hachi smiles and bows.

Hachi: Hajimemashite. (Nice to meet you.)

Inklinda: Uh...hi?

Inklein: Hajimemashite. (Nice to meet you.)

Inklein bows.

Inklinda: You speak Octarian, honey?

Inklein: I do?

Inklinda sighs.

Hachi: My name is Takozonesu Octabigail.

Inklinda: Long name. Is there, like, something else we can call you?

"Hachi": Well...some people call me "Octabby".

Inklein: Tabby? You mean like Judd? Are you half-puss?

Squilma: Don't mind Inklein. He's a few shrimp short of a cocktail.

Octabby giggles.

Squilma: So where have you been? I haven't seen you since you were taken away by Ally-Squinn!

Octabby: It's a long story...say, where's Squigley?

Squilma: It's a long story...

Inklein looks at Inklinda.

Inklein: Hey, how come you made Wilma think I was your boyfriend...?

Inklinda: It's, like, a long story or whatever...

To be Continued...

Scene 3: Wahoo World: Morning

We see "Squigley" holding a weapon similar to a Splattershot in the middle of Wahoo World, a popular seaside amusement park. The scene flashes for a brief moment.

Voice: All done!

Seth walks into view and hands "Squigley" an octophone.

"Squigley": Thanks.

Seth: Hey, no problem. So you live in Inkopolis too?

"Squigley": Uh...yeah, I do.

Seth: So what do you think of it? I'm sure it's very different to where you USED to live, right?

"Squigley": I...wouldn't know, since I don't remember where I used to live.

Seth's eyes widen.

Seth: Seriously?

"Squigley": Yeah. It's fine, though. I've made a bunch of friends, and they're all so nice...well, Inklinda can be...actually, never mind.

Seth's left eye squints.

Seth: You're friends with Inklinda Squatson?

"Squigley": Yeah, I guess so.

Seth: And Inklein?

Squigley grins.

"Squigley": Yeah. He's awesome!

Seth: Then...do you know-

Seth pauses.

"Squigley": Who?

Seth: Do you know Ally-Squinn Maki?

"Squigley" thinks.

"Squigley": Hm...nope, doesn't ring a bell.

Seth: Oh, you'd LOVE her. She's AMAZING!

"Squigley": I'll take your word for it.

Seth: Yeah! Hey, we should TOTALLY hang out sometime. I'll introduce you!

"Squigley": I think I'd like that.

Seth: Cool. Say, what's your name?

"Squigley": It's Squi-

"Squigley" pauses.

"Squigley": Um...Octu-

"Squigley's" thoughts: Nope, "Octugley" isn't gonna work...stoopid Octavio...

"Squigley": Um...call me "Octanner".

Seth: Octanner, huh? That's an AMAZING name!

Octanner grins.

Octanner: Thanks.

Seth: Well...uh...d'you wanna head over to Ate & Switch?

Octanner: Yeah, I guess I do. I need to catch up with Squilma.

Seth: You know Squilma? Is there anyone you DON'T know?

Squika lands on Octanner's head.

Seth: SQUIKA! What are you doing?!

Squika: I wanted to surprise my dear friend Squigley!

Seth: Well, you can't! Squigley went back to his own time MONTHS ago!

Octanner's thoughts: Wait...what is Seth talking about...?

Squika: Don't be absurd, bruh! Squigley is RIGHT HERE!

Octanner's thoughts: Squika, what are you-

Seth: Well, all I see is my silly twin and my new Octoling friend. Oh, Octanner, this is my...uh...Squika.

Octanner: Oh, we've met.

Squika: Yes, but then you left me behind while you went on your vacation, just like Seth-Inkley here. But now you're both home! YAY!

Octanner giggles.

Octanner: I missed you too, Squika.

Squika begins to sob.

Squika: Aw, you're so nice, Squiggles...

Seth's left eye squints.

Seth's thoughts: Okay, HOW do you get "Squiggles" from a name like Octanner...?

To be Continued...

Scene 4: Ate & Switch: Afternoon

Ally, Squilma, Inklinda and Inklein sit at a table.

Squilma: So...any reason you invited us here, Ally-Squinn?

Ally: Yeah, there is.

Inklinda: Wait...why am I here? I have better things to do right now or whatever.

Ally: Well, Seth called and said he met a friend of yours at Wahoo World.

Squilma's eyes widen.

Squilma: Squigley?!

Ally shakes her head.

Ally: No, it's someone I haven't met. Some guy named Octanner.

Squilma's left eye squints.

Squilma: What? I don't know anyone named-

Inklein: Wiggles!

Squilma looks at Inklein.

Squilma: What are you talking about, Inkle-butt?

Inklein points at the door.

Inklein: Wiggles just walked in with Purple Squika!

Squilma's left eye squints even further.

Squilma: I think you've lost your Power Eggs...

Octanner's voice: Hey, everyone.

Squilma's eyes widen as she looks at Octanner.

Squilma: Squiggles! You're back!

Octanner smiles.

Octanner: Yep! I-

Squilma leaps off her chair and hugs Octanner.

Seth: Hey, what am I, chopped Leever?

Inklein giggles.

Inklein: Silly Purple Squika! That's not a SEA pun, it's a ZELDA pun! Silly Purple Squika.

Squilma lets go of Octanner and looks at Seth.

Squilma: Nice to see you, Seth-Inkley. Say...where's Squika? And how did you get here so fast?

Seth: Oh, he's parking the car. We took the carpool lane to get here.

Squilma: Nice.

Ally: Hold up...Seth, you said you were bringing a guy named Octanner, right?

Seth: Yeah?

Ally: Then why is Squigley here instead of him?

Seth laughs.

Seth: Don't be silly, Ally! Squigley returned to his own time!

Inklinda sighs.

Inklinda's thoughts: I think he's been spending too much time hanging out with Inkle-butt...

Ally: No, Seth. This is Squigley.

Ally gestures to Octanner.

Seth: No, it CAN'T be. Squigley's an Inkling. This? This is an Octoling.

Inklinda: Like, what's the difference?

Seth: Well, a different number of tentacles, for one. But that's not the point: this can't be Squigley because he's-

Octanner: Actually, I AM Squigley. Well...used to be, anyway...

Squilma: Used to be...?

Ally: Squigley...

Octanner: I figure that I'm a new person now. In a sense, I've been reborn...given a fresh start...so I renamed myself.

Octanner raises his hand.

Octanner: Hi! I'm Octanner, an Inkopolitan Octoling.

Inklinda: But...you're still...YOU, right?

Octanner: Oh, don't get me wrong. I may be different on the outside, but inside I'm still the same guy. I've just been given a new coat of ink.

Squilma and Ally smile. Inklinda makes a slight smile.

Ally: Well said...

Ally's thoughts: ...but it's only temporary, right...? I mean...your future self has been restored to Inkling form...we just need to figure out how to change you back...

Scene 5: Ammo Knights: Afternoon

We see a view of Ammo Knights. Multiple electric blue flashes are seen, each coupled with the sound of electrical zaps.

Sheldon's voice: I've...I've succeeded! This new device may be the answer we've been seeking! Uh-oh...

We see a brief zap, followed by a squishy plop sound. Callie walks through the front door and approaches the back room, a brown paper bag in her hand.

Callie: Shelly! I brought you a bag of freshly-cooked crabby-

Callie looks into the back room and drops the bag. She calls out.

Callie: Uh...Marie? I think Sheldon's been eaten by a Kraken...

To be Continued...

Scene 6: Ate & Switch: Evening

Octanner, Octabby, Ally, Seth, Squilma, Squika, Inklinda and Inklein sit at a table, a huge ice-cream sundae in front of each of them.

Inklein: Hey...I just realised something.

Inklinda: I find that hard to believe...

Squilma: What is it, Inklein?

Inklein: There are eight main characters in this scene! It's the largest group in a single scene to date!

Inklinda: Yeah? So?

Squika: Well, the writer IS trying to emphasise a theme of the number 8, right?

Octanner: Yeah, but I think it was just a happy coincidence in this case...

Squilma: But isn't it hard to write dialogue for more than a handful of characters at once?

Inklein giggles.

Inklein: Silly Wilma! You can't fit characters in a person's hand, they're too BIG! Silly Wilma!

Ally: Squilma's right. I mean, odds are that not everyone will be able to speak before this scene finishes.

Seth opens his mouth to speak.

Callie's voice: Squilma! Ally!

Callie and Marie run up to the table.

Squilma: What's wrong, Callie?

Callie: No time to speak! Hurry!

Marie: Callie, I think it's-

Callie: Not now, Marie! We need to-

Callie pauses for a ridiculously long time.

Octanner: Uh...Callie?

Callie: Not now, Squidley! You need to come NOW!

Octanner: Wait...didn't you say you needed-

Callie: Squidley, please! You and Squilma and Ally and the Veemo and maybe Squika need to come RIGHT NOW!

Octabby: M-Me...? Really?

Squika: Ooh, I'm being included? Goody!

Inklein giggles.

Inklein: Silly Squeaky! You're not a-

Callie: Come on! Hurry up, already!

Marie: (Overreacting as usual...)

Octanner: Uh...right.

Octanner, Octabby, Ally, Squilma and Squika follow Callie out of the store. Marie looks at Seth, Inklinda and Inklein.

Inklinda: Wait...why the fresh weren't WE included?

Marie: Honestly? No idea. I try to let my cousin do her own thing...

Marie's thoughts: ...which MAY have been a mistake that one time...

Inklein: Well, at least we all got to say something during this scene.

Squam's voice: Hey, Inklein! Your preordered copy of Squidkid 2: Return of the Kidsquid just came in!

Inklein: YAY! Even SQUAM got to say something! AND I have a new game to play on my Swimtendo Switch!

Inklinda: Well, I guess it IS important for characters to be able to say lines in scenes or whatever...

Seth opens his mouth to speak.

Scene 7: Ammo Knights: Evening

Octanner, Octabby, Ally and Squilma follow Callie inside Ammo Knights.

Callie: Okay, Agents, it's time to brief you on your mission!

Octanner: Uh...Octabby and I aren't agents...

Octabby: Um...

Callie: Oh, right...well then, I guess it's not a MISSION but more of a-

We see a blue flash from the back room, followed by the sound of an electrical zap.

Sheldon's voice: I...I did it!

Callie: Sheldon? Is that you? Are you okay?!

Sheldon's voice: Oh, Agent 1!

Sheldon walks from the back room and steps on the brown paper bag.

Sheldon: Oh...um...

Callie: Oh, sorry, Shelly! I left your dinner on the floor!

Sheldon: It's quite alright, Agent-

Sheldon sees Octanner and Octabby.

Sheldon: I mean..."Callie".

Callie: So what happened? Did you use a gadget to cut your way out of that Kraken's stomach?

Sheldon: Kraken?

Callie: Yeah! There was a huge, slimy monster in the back room, right?

Sheldon: Actually, that was me.

Callie: You were turned into a Kraken?! That must've been HORRIBLE!

Ally: That scenario seems familiar...

Sheldon: What? No, I accidentally electrocuted myself and fell to the ground. I knocked a sheet of tarp over me, which snagged on a bucket of green slime and caused the tarp to become covered with the substance.

Callie: But it had tentacles! And it was writhing around!

Sheldon: Ah, those would have been the convulsions.

Callie: So...this whole thing was just a big misunderstanding...?

Sheldon: Yes indeed, Callie. Anyway, I managed to build something truly wonderful indeed!

***
The group stares at a machine that resembles the one DJ Octavio used to transform Squigley into Octanner.

Ally: What is it, Sheldon?

Sheldon: It's a transmutation reversal unit. I built it by reverse-engineering the device Inklein used to accidentally switch the bodies of Inklinda and Squika.

Squilma: I remember that...wait...wasn't Squika with us?

Ally: Hey, yeah...where IS he?

Squilma: Eh, I'm sure he'll turn up.

Sheldon: I also received some of the leftover parts from the v.21072017 iteration of Donburi Podd's restoration machine after it was successfully converted into a taffy machine.

Ally giggles.

Ally: Gee, I wonder who did THAT?

Sheldon: Basically, it will work to restore any Inkling whose physiology was altered using the energy of the tidemoon.

Ally and Squilma's eyes widen.

Squilma: We could use it to restore-

Ally: -Octobel!

Squilma's left eye squints.

Squilma: Who the fresh is Octobel?

Ally: Did...I say "Octobel"...? I meant Octanner!

Octanner ponders Ally's words.

Squilma: Yep! Squiggles can return to being the Inkling he was meant to be!

Sheldon: I'm afraid it's not quite that simple, Squilma. Without a sample of the subject's untampered ink, the machine will not work.

Ally: Then...Squigley's stuck like this?

Ally's thoughts: No...it CAN'T be...there must be another way...there HAS to be...

Squilma: Then are YOU in luck, Shelster?

Sheldon: What do you mean...?

Squilma: Well, when Octabby and I escaped from Octavio's lair with Squigley, I happened to salvage a sample of his ink!

Sheldon: Oh, that's wonderful, Squilma!

Squilma: How much do you need?

Sheldon: Oh, even a droplet is enough to restore him!

The girls cheer.

Ally: Perfect! Now things can get back to normal!

Squilma: You said it, Ally-Squinn!

Octabby smiles at Octanner.

Octabby: This is excellent to hear, right, Octanner?

Octanner: Uh...yeah, I guess it is...

Callie: Ooh, let's throw a party at The Shoal to celebrate! Squidley LOVES that place!

Squilma: Yeah, and we can invite all our friends!

Ally: Oh, this is going to be so much fun!

Octanner: Yeah...great...

Octanner stares at his feet.

Octanner's thoughts: This is getting confusing...am I an Inkling or an Octoling...? It'd be easier if I were both...

Scene 8: Tentakeel Outpost: Night

Squika awakens outside Cuttlefish Cabin. He sits up slightly and looks around.

Squika: What happened...?

Suddenly, a pair of black boots lands in front of him. Squika slowly looks up, revealing an Octopus Amazon.

Squika: Hey, you're one of those Taco Zesties, are you not...?

The Octopus Amazon scowls.

Octopus Amazon: Baka! Watashi wa Tako! (Idiot! I am an Octoling!)

Squika: Oh...my apologies.

Octopus Amazon: Baka ika! Anata wa watashi no imōto to nani o shimashita ka? (Idiot Inkling! What have you done with my sister?)

Scene 1: Ammo Knights: Afternoon

We see a view of Sheldon's face.

Sheldon: I've done it!

Inklinda's voice: Like, done what or whatever?

The scene cuts to a view of Octanner, Squilma, Inklinda, Octabby and Ally-Squinn standing next to a machine labelled "OC-2-SQUID MACHINE".

Sheldon: I have constructed a machine that should reconstitute Squigley's molinkular structure back to his original Inkling form!

Squilma: Uh...didn't you build this contraption four months ago?

Sheldon: Well, yes, but someone converted it into a toffee machine, and it's taken this long to fix it...

Squilma: Darn it, Squika!

Inklinda: Actually, I think Inklein's the one to blame for this.

Ally: And why would you assume that?

Inklinda: Because he's good with machines.

Squilma: He is?

Inklinda: And toffee is his favourite food. Plus, he begged me to let him do it.

The scene wipes to a view of Inklinda on her knees near Inklein and the machine.

Inklinda: PLEEEEEEEASE do this for me, Inklein!

Inklein: But wouldn't that be a bad thing?

Inklinda: I'll let you be my friend if you do!

Inklein: Silly Lindie! I'm ALREADY your friend! Silly Lindie!

Inklinda: And I'll buy you a small drink at The Crust Bucket with your employee discount!

Inklein whips out a wrench from thin air.

Inklein: Let's do this.

The scene wipes back to the present.

Squilma: Ooh, that Inkle-butt! His sugar lust knows no bounds!

Ally: I guess we can't blame Inklinda this time, can we? I mean, she hates sugar, so she has no motive to do this.

Inklinda: You, like, know me so well, Andi.

Ally: "Ally".

Inklinda: Yeah, Ally.

Inklinda's thoughts: They must never know I'm attracted to the new Squigley...

Octabby: You have been most quiet, Octanner-kun. Is something on your mind?

Octanner looks at Octabby.

Octanner: Hm? Yeah, I've spent months trying to decide if I want to change back.

Ally: What?!

Ally's thoughts: But...he HAS to be restored! Otherwise...

Octanner: And I've decided to do it.

Ally: I KNEW you would! I mean...um...woohoo...

Squilma: So hurry up already!

Octanner: Uh-

Squilma shoves Octanner into the machine and slams the door.

Squilma: Shelster! How do you start this thing?

Sheldon: You wish to activate it, Agent 4?

Squilma: Yep! I got Squiggles into this mess, so I'm gonna fix-

Inklein's voice: Hi, peeps! What's everyone doing next to the machine that Inklinda begged me to turn into a toffee maker?

Ally: Inklinda!

Inklinda: What? That's, like, ridiculous or whatever! HAHAHAHAHAInkleinyouaresosplattedwhenwegethome.

Inklein: Ooh, a big blue button!

Squilma: Inklein, no!

Inklinda: Inklein, yes!

Inklein presses the button. A splat sound is heard.

Squilma: Squiggles!

Octabby: Octanner-kun!

Octanner's voice: Uh...could someone please open the door...?

Squilma: Sheldon!

Sheldon: Uh...right.

Sheldon punches in a code, and the door opens. Octanner runs out, seemingly in a panic.

Ally: Squigley, what's wrong?

Octanner: Th-There's a...a THING in there!

Squilma: A...thing?

Squilma looks in the chamber. A toffee statue of Octanner's original Inkling form is inside.

Squilma: Uh...it's a toffee you...

Octanner: Yeah, but it talks!

Squilma: Squigley, it's a piece of ca-

Toffee Squigley: Hello? Is someone there? I can't hear you too well 'cause my ears are blocked by sticky goop. Also, my eyes seem to be glued shut, so I can't see you. Hello?

Everyone except Inklein is shocked.

Inklein: Wow...talking candy! I must be a genie, yes!

To be Continued...

Scene 2: Inkopolis Square: Afternoon

Octanner, Squilma, Inklinda, Inklein, Ally and Octabby stand with the toffee Squigley near The Crust Bucket.

Inklinda: So...why are we, like, standing outside with this thing or whatever?

Inklein: Because the sun's rays will soften up the toffee-

Ally: -which will, in turn-

Inklinda: Uh...I was talking to INKLEIN, not you, Princess.

Ally: All I'm saying is that Inklein is a genius!

Inklinda: Oooookay, I think someone needs to rehydrate...

Squilma: Actually, Inklein's been saying a LOT of intelligent things lately...

Inklein: Heheheh, Jellyfish look like jelly noodles with a jelly dumpling on top!

Squilma: ...though he usually follows up with a very Inklein turn of phrase.

Toffee Squigley: Okay, I'm starting to freak out!

Octanner: YOU'RE freaking out?!

Toffee Squigley: I mean, how long is it gonna take you to turn me into one of you, Octavio?!

Squilma's left eye squints.

Squilma: Did...it just mention Octavio...?

Inklein: Hm...I have a hunch...

Inklein grabs onto the toffee Squigley's forearm and pulls, tearing away a chunk of candy and revealing pale skin underneath.

Squilma: Does anyone else see what I'm seeing?

Inklein shoves the toffee chunk into his mouth and begins to chew.

Inklinda: Yeah, and it's 88 flavours of disgusting!

Inklein: My hunch was right! This IS toffee!

Toffee Squigley: Why does my arm suddenly feel a pleasant breeze in one spot...?

Octanner: I think I've figured it out!

Ally: So have I.

Squilma: What? What is it?

Octanner: I think...

Octanner nervously latches onto the side of the toffee Squigley's face and pulls, revealing a real Squigley face underneath, complete with the familiar Painter's Mask.

Squilma: Squigley? But...how-

"Squigley": Squilma! What happened? He turned me into an octopus, didn't he? Oh...this is not good!

Octanner: He's...me.

"Squigley": Wait...are we in Inkopolis Square? And why are there Oct-

"Squigley" pauses.

Octanner: Okay, I know what you're thinking, but just hear us out. We-

"Squigley": AAAAAAAAHH!!

Inklinda: Um...well, this is happening or whatever.

Inklein points to the toffee in Octanner's hand.

Inklein: Are you gonna eat that, Wiggles?

Inklein takes the toffee and bites into it. Inklinda dry-heaves.

Inklinda: 88 flavours of disgusting...

Scene 3: Ammo Knights: Evening.

Sheldon examines a now de-toffeed "Squigley" closely.

Sheldon: Hm...

Sheldon plucks a tiny piece of leftover candy from "Squigley's" quiff and rubs his thumb and index finger in a clockwise motion, before pinching them together. Inklein pats his belly.

Inklein: That candy was so good...hey, let's make another toffee Wiggles!

Squilma: You can't!

Inklein: Aw, why not?

Squilma: Because Lindie just destroyed the machine.

Sheldon looks at Inklinda.

Inklinda: What? I knew Inkle-butt would try making another candy Squigley, and I can only tolerate so much from him.

Sheldon: Yes...in any case, this Inkling is most definitely Squigley.

Squilma: But how?

Sheldon: Well, it seems that the machine restored the original Squigley from the ink sample instead of changing back Octanner.

Squilma: Isn't there anything you can do?!

Sheldon: Well, I could reconstitute the duplicate back into his component material, but that would be a mean thing to do to him.

Squigley: Yes, please don't do that.

Squilma: So you have Squiggles' memories?

Squigley: Only up to the incident in Octo Canyon. It seems I have a LOT of catching up to do. Say, where's Squika?

Ally: He's-

Everyone pauses.

Ally: Now that you mention it...

Scene 4: Unknown Location: Evening

We cut to a view of Squika locked in a cage, a dog dish labelled "IKA" next to him.

Squika: Four months locked in a cage with nothing but caviar and truffles to eat...why hasn't anyone rescued me...?

To be Continued

Scene... uh... 5?: Ate & Switch: Afternoon

”Squigley”, Octanner, Octabby, Inklinda and Inklein sit at a table. Inklein looks around.

Inklein: Huh...?

Inklinda: What’s up, Inkle-butt?

Inklein: Something’s weird...

Inklinda looks at “Squigley” and Octanner.

Inklinda: Aside from Squiggles sitting next to... himself...? I mean-

Voice: I’m BA-AAAAAAACK!

Squilma walks up to the table.

Inklein: I missed you so much, Wilma!

Squilma: Uh... I was just in the Little Woomy’s Room...

Inklein: Really? You were gone for AGES...

Octabby: Oh, is this one of the famous Inkling “squiddicisms” of which I’ve heard?

Inklinda: Oh, please. Inklein is, like, ANYTHING but witty or whatever...

Squilma: So what are we supposed to call the other one?

Octanner: Uh, RUDE.

Squilma: Oh, I didn’t mean you,

Octanner: Yes, but it was personally insulting by proxy.

Inklein: Wait... Wilma’s real name is Roxie...? Can I play with your baby centipede cocoon?

Squilma: Okay, did he lose a few I.Q. points since I went to the toilet a few minutes ago?

Squigley: Okay, you were NOT this way two months ago during the Octoling incident.

Octanner: Yeah... I think Inklinda’s starting to rub off on her, heheh.

Squilma: WHAT?! Why would you even SUGGEST that, Squiggles?

Octanner: Well, at least I have a valid excuse for being different.

Squigley: Really? Because I’d swear we were identical.

Octanner: Well, technically you’re younger than me in terms of memory delay.

Squigley: True. Cats judging battles of the New Splatoon...

Octanner: ...Octoling blue by the light of the moon.

Inklein: Wait... is THAT Wiggles-es-es’ son?!

Inklinda: Like, sure or whatever...

Squigley: Uh... but I’m not-

Inklinda: Squigley? Remember: this is INKLEIN.

Squigley: Oh... right, heheh...

Inklein: Yes. My name is Inklein... uh... Stinkline.

Inklinda: “Schminklein”, honey.

Inklein: Right, “Inklein Schminklein Honey”. It’s nice to meet you, Wiggles Jr.

Inklinda: Yes, Wiggles Jr. It’s VERY nice to meet why the fresh are you staring at me like that?

Squigley: Oh... uh... I was staring...?

Squilma: Looks like you have a romantic rival, Inkle-butt!

”Squigley”’s eyes widen.

Squigley: Uh-

Inklein: Silly Wilma! Wiggles Jr. doesn’t love you, he loves LINDIE! Silly Wilma!

Squigley and Inklinda are dumbfounded.

Inklinda: Like... uh...

Squigley: ...uh.. or whatever...

Squilma: Thanks for spoiling the mood, Inklein...

Inklein grins.

Inklein: You’re welcome, Wilma!

Squilma: Honestly... what ELSE could ruin my-

Squilma is drenched by a spray of purple ink.

Squilma: DARN IT, SQUIKA!

Squika: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! HELP ME! SOMEONE... ANYONE... HELP MEEEEEEE! WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP-WOOP!

Everyone but Inklein gasps. Inklein giggles.

Inklein: That’s our Squeaky, hahaha!

To be Continued...