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RyanNerdyGamer
RyanNerdyGamer
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Sun Feb 05, 2023 1:22 am
How I’m feeling right now… 58a83610

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KeAfan7
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Sun Feb 05, 2023 11:41 am
You're being abused?!  Crying or Very sad

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RyanNerdyGamer
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Sun Feb 05, 2023 3:55 pm
@KeAfan7 Kinda, yeah… what sucks the most is I wasn’t aware it counted as abuse until a few years ago. That’s why it’s taken so long to reveal… 🙁

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Golden Freiza
Golden Freiza

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Sun Feb 05, 2023 5:46 pm
@OrionJZed I'll have lord Frieza sort that out for you if you'd like. Twisted Evil

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RyanNerdyGamer
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Sun Feb 05, 2023 6:15 pm
@"Golden Frieza" Aw… it’s sweet you’d do that for this wittle monkey whose Saiyan name is probably Onrin or somethin’. 😁

(On the other hand, Lord Frieza is probably not one for “sweet” outside of DBZA, so… perhaps not? 😅)

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Golden Freiza
Golden Freiza

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Sun Feb 05, 2023 6:43 pm
@OrionJZed As Universe 0's God of Destruction "in my fanfic..." I'll persuade him. Middle Finger

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KeAfan7
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Sun Feb 05, 2023 6:46 pm
@Golden Freiza Woah! Bringing out the big guns, eh? Or just flipping the bird at Frieza which is either REALLY badass or REALLY dumb depending on your power level! Pog Champ

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RyanNerdyGamer
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Mon Feb 06, 2023 9:38 pm
@Golden Freiza You write fanfics…? 😮

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RyanNerdyGamer
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Fri Feb 10, 2023 1:58 am
I’m getting close to my breakpoint… not sure what else can be done to overcome this lifelong hurdle. Sad

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Aqua Cherry Blossom
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Sun Feb 12, 2023 11:21 pm
@OrionJZed Nice review lol. Smug

I hope the joke made you feel better hehe lol. Laughing

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KeAfan7
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Sun Feb 12, 2023 11:25 pm
@Aqua Cherry Blossom LMFAO! lol!

@OrionJZed I don't know what to say buddy, but I hope things get better for you. I know what being verbally battered feels like and it's not fun. Crying or Very sad

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RyanNerdyGamer
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Wed Feb 15, 2023 1:57 pm
Waitafronkinminute… why the Fronk didn’t the Fronkin’ server send a freshing notification? Bored/What the...?

Heheh… sorry for the late replies… Anime Sweat
Aqua Cherry Blossom wrote: @OrionJZed Nice review lol. Smug

I hope the joke made you feel better hehe lol. Laughing
Haha! I love running gags and in-jokes! Though you probably already know that, ‘cos my series are peppered with ‘em… Happy

Inklein: Silly Author! You can’t put pepper on your sea-ries, because they’re in SAIBASPACE! Silly Author, hahaha! lol!
KeAfan7 wrote: @Aqua Cherry Blossom LMFAO! lol!

@OrionJZed I don't know what to say buddy, but I hope things get better for you. I know what being verbally battered feels like and it's not fun. Crying or Very sad
Things are gradually improving, and the abuser in question knows they’re on thin ice… and that I no longer tolerate their (or anyone else’s) toxicity and/or manipulative tactics.

If there’s one good thing outta decades of this crapbasket weaving, it’s that I’m aware of the signs, and thus able to ensure that no-one is forced to endure it in silence.

Part of my creative process is not only to entertain others, but to inspire them into (hopefully) finding their voice and inner calling, overcoming their personal doubts and demons, and realising the amazing person they truly are.

Haters gonna hate…
Doubters gotta doubt…
Ain’t no changin’ ‘dat… Shocked

So all’s left is to…

Be yo’ Mecha-Fronkin’ self! :mechafronk:

You got ‘dis! victory
RyanNerdyGamer
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Sun Mar 26, 2023 1:05 am
This can’t go on any longer… I need to be far away from my abuser, considering tonight’s episode of emotional abuse… 😭

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KeAfan7
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Sun Mar 26, 2023 1:18 am
@OrionJZed Oh no! Feel free to message me if you'd like to vent, I'm all ears. Wink

Edit: What a typo! Grimace


Last edited by KeAfan7 on Sun Mar 26, 2023 1:24 am; edited 1 time in total

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Aqua Cherry Blossom
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Sun Mar 26, 2023 1:21 am
@OrionJZed Remember the magic words. Nice review lol. Laughing

@KeAfan7 @OrionJZed Butt Mode activated apparently lol. Drinking

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KeAfan7
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Sun Mar 26, 2023 1:25 am
@OrionJZed @Aqua Cherry Blossom Fixed that extremely embarrassing typo, but hopefully you got a chuckle out of it haha! lol!

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RyanNerdyGamer
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Mon Mar 27, 2023 3:23 am
@KeAfan7 @Aqua Cherry Blossom I appreciate the kind words (and lols, heehee); it’s just getting so draining after all these decades of… of… what I’d never wish upon anyone.

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RyanNerdyGamer
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Tue Mar 28, 2023 9:25 pm
Well, another crucial thing about my past I didn’t know until today has come to light…

Turns out I didn’t pass my final year of high school.

I failed my exams, and no-one thought to tell me?  Suspect

Not even my own parents knew (apparently).

The Fr*nk even is the sitcom that is my life?! Shocked

(I’m so frickin’ confused right now… dizzy )
RyanNerdyGamer
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Sun Apr 16, 2023 12:02 am
I copped another emotional uppercut (or, rather, lowercut) from my abuser last night… seriously, I feel like a Lv. 2 Caterpie inside Violet City Gym right now. That’s how bad things have gotten. 😭
Bashful1996
Bashful1996

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Mon Apr 24, 2023 1:57 pm
OrionJZed wrote:I copped another emotional uppercut (or, rather, lowercut) from my abuser last night… seriously, I feel like a Lv. 2 Caterpie inside Violet City Gym right now. That’s how bad things have gotten. 😭
Sad

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RyanNerdyGamer
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Tue Jun 20, 2023 11:08 pm
😭

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KeAfan7
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Tue Jun 20, 2023 11:23 pm
@OrionJZed Oh no buddy! What happened? Crying or Very sad

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RyanNerdyGamer
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Wed Jun 21, 2023 12:37 am
@KeAfan7 I’m so overwhelmed with being a mere afterthought in this family, and I have nowhere to go despite trying for five years to make the change…

I don’t want to face another rejection. 😔
Aqua Cherry Blossom
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Wed Jun 21, 2023 12:59 am

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RyanNerdyGamer
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Fri Oct 06, 2023 4:56 am
I CAN’T DO THIS ALONE ANYMORE!

Why is life always so needlessly, excessively, and unforgivably cruel to me? Why are others so quick to chastise, bully, or take advantage of me? And why do I keep finding renewed hope only for it to be snatched from me and stomped into the ground beneath my feet…?

Haven’t I been through enough already? What could I possibly have done to deserve such harsh treatment all these years? How can so many be so quick to point out my strengths, say what they like about me, and praise the work and commitment I do, yet somehow I’m still alone in this struggle to find a solid, long-term footing?

I may be resilient in the face of challenge, and there may be so much untapped potential ready to be forged into whatever my purpose in life is meant to be, but without the resources, the opportunities, and the camaraderie to see it all the way through, it’s a losing battle that no lone individual can achieve alone.

And at this point I’m well and truly spent, yet still the pressure to keep on keeping on is there, never yielding, never relenting, never allowing this burnt-out husk of a once-gifted soul a moment to rest, to be given the opportunity and freedom to soar, and to know the blessing of unconditional love and partnership.

I’m tired of the rug being pulled from under my feet, I’m tired of those I should be able to trust (teachers, peers, and family) being needlessly cruel and unfair, and I’m tired of gaining traction in my life only for some unseen hurdle to trip me up all over again.

I don’t want to drop everything, stop trying to succeed in life, and accept that I will never amount to anything as said by two teachers in the worst school years of my life, but if I’m still stuck after nearly 36 years of false starts, false hopes, and too many other falsehoods, then I may as well just drop everything and become a full-time hermit, because everything in my life has always been the opposite of what I need, and that cycle of unfairness and loveless abuse needs to be reversed if I’m to have any hope of fulfilment.

***
Thirty-six years in,
Waiting for life to begin,
Any day now… please?
KeAfan7
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Fri Oct 06, 2023 12:25 pm
Aww, I'm sorry things aren't going well for you. My life has been pretty atrocious as well lately, I hope there'll be good mojo coming your way soon buddy! Cool

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RyanNerdyGamer
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Sat Oct 07, 2023 6:45 am
@KeAfan7 Likewise. 😙

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Wed Nov 29, 2023 9:15 pm
…no mojo. 😭

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KeAfan7
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Thu Nov 30, 2023 1:05 am
@OrionJZed What's wrong Zed?

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RyanNerdyGamer
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Thu Nov 30, 2023 3:09 am
@KeAfan7 No good mojo… 😭

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RyanNerdyGamer
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Thu Nov 30, 2023 10:39 pm
@KeAfan7 I apologise for the waterworks… it’s tough having to bottle up my emotions and traumas all the time, and the pressure is really starting to get to me. 😞

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KokorOtaku
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Wed Dec 06, 2023 10:13 am
@OrionJZed I hope things get better for you soon

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I feel unaccomplished and need to give my heart out. Where’s my Kokoro no Tomo? Sad I love you

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RyanNerdyGamer
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Wed Dec 06, 2023 8:28 pm
@KokorOtaku Appreciated. Anime Sweat

I’ve set up an account with BetterHelp, so hopefully they can help with the emotional side of it. victory

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KeAfan7
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Thu Dec 07, 2023 2:02 am
KokorOtaku wrote:@OrionJZed I hope things get better for you soon

I second this! I hope your situation gets fresh, instead of being like a smelly Wario fart because of your abuser! Happy

PS. Sorry for the terrible pun haha! Bored/What the...?

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Thu Dec 07, 2023 6:25 am
@KeAfan7 No need for an apology. I love puns! Happy

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KeAfan7
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Mon Dec 11, 2023 4:34 pm
Sorry for the lack of updates, been feeling pretty blah myself... @OrionJZed @KokorOtaku @Aqua Cherry Blossom @Golden Freiza . RIP

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Mon Dec 11, 2023 6:08 pm
@KeAfan7 Oh no! Are you alright? 😨

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KeAfan7
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Tue Dec 12, 2023 9:31 pm
@OrionJZed Not particularly...never thought someone in my life would chuck a heavy ass butter knife at my face...but here I am... RIP

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Wed Dec 13, 2023 12:00 am
@KeAfan7 Dang. ☹

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Fri Feb 02, 2024 8:29 pm
EDIT: It took some effort, but I barely made it back… 😓

ORIGINAL POST: Not even a week out of the country and already my parents’ absence shows just how ingrained in their lives I’d become…

Now I’m stranded interstate with no hope of getting back and no-one in my corner to help me out… I’ve never felt as alone as I do right now… 😭
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Tue Apr 09, 2024 2:58 am
I’ve just realised that Crystals of Silveria was partly a subconscious venting of my deep desire to GTFO from my broken home life.

In a way, it helped me find the courage and strength to find my path, to really delve within and figure out what - and who - I truly want to be, and to never give up until success is achieved, then keep going onto the next one.

Who’da thunk a glorified Dungeons & Dragons fanfic derived from a dream would completely change my life in what’s turned mostly for the better? Anime Sweat
KeAfan7
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Sun Apr 14, 2024 12:27 am
Why did I not get notifications?! @TheGingerDoctor I'm glad you found your way back home buddy! Prinny

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Sun Apr 14, 2024 12:28 am
KeAfan7 wrote:Why did I not get notifications?!
I ‘unno… Mercury in retrograde, mayhaps? Anime Sweat
KeAfan7
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Sun Apr 14, 2024 12:34 am
LMAO! lol!

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