Hi, and welcome to a new feature called ChromaiChat, where we chat with the protagonists, deuteragonists, antagonists and...well, just about any character in the multiverse, really! Today, we're kicking off this series with a bang, as we interview the main man of Crystals of Silveria himself, Zed Starmute!
WiiWareWave: Thank you for allowing us to interview you.
Zed: Thank you for having me.
WiiWareWave: Now before we get into the nitty-gritty, can you tell us about your series, for those at home who have never heard of it?
Zed: Well, Crystals of Silveria takes place on a continent called Ornoposia, which is made up of three main countries and one independent nation, with each country broken down into smaller sovereignties. I was chosen by a mysterious artefact called the Silverian Crystals to be the owner of one of them.
WiiWareWave: So this crystal...are you wearing it right now?
Zed: Of course, I always keep it with me, only taking it off to bathe or sleep.
WiiWareWave: Then what's to stop a would-be thief from taking it while you aren't wearing it?
Brocc: I'll field this one.
Brocc is suddenly in the room.
WiiWareWave: Uh...this is supposed to be a one-on-one intervi-
Brocc pulls a chart from seemingly out of nowhere, and picks up a stick from the studio floor.
Brocc: The crystals have a number of innate attributes, one of which is something called a "per-cep-tion dam-pen-er-er-rr".
WiiWareWave: Um...I'm not a two-year-old, you kn-
Brocc: This makes it impossible for a non-Crystalbound to actively perceive the existence of the crystals. They know they're there, but they don't KNOW they're there.
Brocc pulls down the chart slightly, causing it to fly away into the air. He then drops the stick to the studio floor, causing a loud sound of crashing glass to appear. Brocc then bows and exits from the studio.
WiiWareWave: That was...different.
Zed: He's one funny guy, that's for sure.
WiiWareWave: So you've made some friends, haven't you?
Zed: Oh, yeah. Outside of the Crystalbound I've made a few friends: Kendall, Laura, Mr. Newt, Tamamaki-kun...Gazzo, I guess...
WiiWareWave: You guess?
Zed: Well, he tricked me into drinking a potion which caused my clothes to disappear into another plane. I should have seen it coming, though, since two days beforehand he pulled an equally bad prank.
WiiWareWave: Which was?
Zed: Well, he started by leading me into a small room, where he dropped a stink bomb. I did the first thing I could think of, which was putting on my breather. Except he'd rubbed the inside with an ointment which, when the fumes are breathed-in, make your voice incredibly squeaky!
WiiWareWave: (laughs) So then what happened?
Zed: Well, I raced out of the room and pulled it off, but my voice was stuck like that until the next evening! (laughs)
Zed: So when he did the clothes thing...well, fool me once, shame on him...fool me twice, shame on me...fool me a third time-
WiiWareWave: Wait...he did a third thing?!
Zed: Yep, while I was still declothed, he...well...he spiked my drink with ginger!
WiiWareWave: And that's a prank?
Zed: Well, I don't like the taste of ginger, which is ironic since I'm...well, you know.
WiiWareWave: Oh, right, your hair! (laughs) That's pretty clever!
Zed: Well, those three pranks were nothing compared to what BRYN did to him! You cross Bryn, or her friends, and you get burned! (laughs)
WiiWareWave: He was literally burned?
Zed: Well, no. But let's just say that the toilet in that tavern must still be out of order.
WiiWareWave: Oh? Oh! Oh...
Zed: Yeah...the less said, the better.
WiiWareWave: So you've made some friends, but you've also made some enemies.
Zed: Right, those losers.
WiiWareWave: Tell me about the villains of your adventure.
Zed: Well, I don't know much about them, but Nedford and Kelbort were really-
Mak: Not them! He means the Dark Crystalbound!
Mak and Bryn walk into the room.
Zed: Oh, right. Well, they each have a crystal of their own, but they've managed to harness the full power of theirs, while most of us still only have minor benefits. They're all really dangerous, though we-
Bryn: Zed, you're too slow! Look, bottom line: Trent? Druid. Can't be hit by normal magic. Kara? Monk. Moves faster than a hyperchook. Brent? Ranger. Immune to poison and disease. Sara? Barbarian. Impervious to physical attacks. Their ringleader? A sorcerer named-
Mak grabs Bryn and starts to drag her from the room.
Mak: Come on, Bryn. This is Zed's interview.
Bryn: But...but...I wanna be a star!
Mak: You can stuff yourself with food in the green room.
Bryn: Ooh, okay then!
WiiWareWave: ANYWAY, you've made some considerable progress, haven't you?
Zed: Definitely! The next episodes are much more action-packed than the first story arc. We end up travelling to Coppelia and Goldenia, so we get to see every country of Ornoposia, plus some other lands as well.
WiiWareWave: Well, we're out of time, but it's been a pleasure.
Zed: Thank you.
Tune in next time for ChromaiChat! See you then!
Last edited by GamerZack87 on November 25th 2014, 2:21 pm; edited 4 times in total
Chromaicora Adventures - "It starts with a Zed..."
What happens when you take an animé series written by some random dude from Down Underland and abridge the Brocc out of it until it's a hilarious, muddvak cheesy, spoiler-fuelled self-parody that puts even the Butt Mode Super-Shorts to shame?
Well, you get... whatever the Brocc this mess calls itself...
Crystals of Silveria Abridged: Now "broadcasting in syndication" right here on WiiWareWave!
DISCLAIMER: The writer takes no responsibility for any split sides, tear shortages and lack of walls of the fourth kind. Seriously, the entire thing is one giant SPOILER WARNING, so click the above link with caution.
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