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Cranky's Rants Empty Cranky's Rants

on October 1st 2015, 2:59 pm
So here's the dealy-o: I have a lot of things to get off my chest, and I need someone to hear it. So I figured what better place than here? Anyhoo, a lot of you'll see this as nothing more than an endless bombardment of ranting from a daft old ape, and you'd be right! What will I rant about? Whatever I darn well please! How often will I rant? Whenever I darn well want! Honestly, gamers today...no patience whatsoever... Mad

Well, as the young folks say, "Cranky Kong in the house!" No idea what that means, though...darn newfangled "cred-talk or whatever"...
Mad

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Chromaicora - The new home of Zed and pals!

***
The pilot of Power Rangers Mushroom Force is currently being "filmed" on location in One-One Plains, but there's still time to claim - or reclaim - a spot in the series.

Anyone who wishes to reprise their roles should let me know as a response to any post I make. Anyone who wants an unclaimed role should do the same. And remember, the more you chat about the show, the more motivated I am to pump out new stories every week!  Wink

CLICK HERE to sign up for a role, chat about your favourite episodes and characters, or simply find out more about the series.

"Mushroom Force, Let's-a GO!" victory

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on October 2nd 2015, 12:09 pm
LMAO! This is hilarious! lol!

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Cranky's Rants Rukiafan7

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on October 2nd 2015, 10:14 pm
So my sonny-boy sends me a postcard from some other dimension called...oh, what was it now..."Cloudworlds", or some such. Anyhoo, the whole thing is a load of baloney! The postcard AND what was on it! Mad

For starters, the picture was a "photograph" of an island floating in the sky! No photograph worth the cheap paper upon which it's printed looks even remotely good in colour. Give me sepia any day of the week! But the sheer magnitude of an island in the clouds, with naught but a cottage and a sheep on it - a SHEEP, of all things! One lone sheep on a tiny little floating island? How in the world did it get there? Did someone put it there? Or did it just appear as if by magic? BAH! Bah, I say! Next thing, you'll be telling me there's an enormous floating island with an echidna and fourteen multicoloured rocks on it! It's ludicrous! Mad

But get this: my sonny-boy, the self-appointed "king of the jungle", says that he was charged with a mission to save this fabled "Cloudworlds" place by a race of furry little people! "Furry little people", he says! Did he take a journey to Star Wars? Is that where he is? And he goes on to say that he put some kind of "portal-opening engine block" into an old minecart which he says he "tricked-out or whatever DUUUUUUUDE", which he can use in this magical place! I swear, the kid's got a bigger imagination than Klubba the Kremling has a huge bod! I think he's just made up the whole thing, and he's really taking a vacation somewhere, lazing around, gorging on bananas and playing supposed "games" on that "Wii for You and Me" gizmo, which will probably break if it so much as gets dropped! The old Donkey Kong arcade cabinet? Now THERE'S a machine that can withstand a few drops...
Mad

____________________________
Chromaicora - The new home of Zed and pals!

***
The pilot of Power Rangers Mushroom Force is currently being "filmed" on location in One-One Plains, but there's still time to claim - or reclaim - a spot in the series.

Anyone who wishes to reprise their roles should let me know as a response to any post I make. Anyone who wants an unclaimed role should do the same. And remember, the more you chat about the show, the more motivated I am to pump out new stories every week!  Wink

CLICK HERE to sign up for a role, chat about your favourite episodes and characters, or simply find out more about the series.

"Mushroom Force, Let's-a GO!" victory

Cranky's Rants Empty Re: Cranky's Rants

on October 14th 2015, 5:19 pm
Oh my diaphragm lol. Laughing

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Cranky's Rants 1210

Obsessive member of WiiWareWave :]
Wii FC 1724-3424-1981-0846

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on July 30th 2019, 5:18 pm
Well, lookie here, a hidden gem on this web forum-doohickie. Whuzzat? Why haven't I posted anything in years? Because I didn't feel like it! I've been too busy doing a half-decade Balloon Fight playthrough, okay? Honestly, youngsters these days have no patience whatsoever! I DARE you to beat the entire final boss battle in The Legend of Zelda with a single heart. Now THAT'S a true test of patience! Mad

Oh yeah, I was "politely asked" to help my good-for-nothing family save DK Island from a force that sought to turn it into a giant banana-flavoured popsicle. I believe Donkey's exact words were, "AAH! Snow! Help me, Pop!" Darn meathead made one of those "pun" dealie-os, I'm sure, calling me "Pop". Honestly, as far as comedy goes, puns have no nutritional content whatsoever, yet Donkey loves 'em! Seriously, kiddo, your love of puns is completely ri-Donkey-lous! Mad

So I single-handedly booted out those seals, penguins and whatnot, armed with nothing but my wit, my cane and a single blueberry muffin. Why wasn't it a banana muffin, you ask? Because blueberry is BEST, darnit! And guess what? I must've been stuck in a time loop or something, because they did it AGAIN, in EXACTLY the same manner as before! Only difference THIS time was that the surfer dude who looks suspiciously like my mule-brained kiddo "decided" to help, but that good-for-nothing show-off STOLE MY THUNDER! Mad

He claimed that he made the quest "WAY too EASY, bro", but he has no finesse, no pizzazz...I don't think he even had deodorant, to be honest. The whole time he reeked of seawater and beach food. It was HORRIBLE! I mean, hot dogs and ice-creams? He SHOULDA packed a blueberry muffin! Heck, even DONKEY ate something with decent nutritional content, even if it was just a dozen-dozen-dozen-dozen-dozen-

ONE DOZEN "DOZENS" LATER...

-dozen bananas! I swear, if he keeps it up, he's gonna LOOK like a banana! You are what you eat, after all. Although, that explains why Chunky said I look like a blueberry muffin. Wait...nope, it doesn't. That kid's as thick as Zubba honey on a slice of cement toast! Honestly, the only thing dumber than Chunky Kong is those mindless Super Smash Family games! Gaming's greatest mascots punching each other off the screen? Feh! There's only ONE truly amazing character in those games, and it ain't my layabout banana-scoffing kiddo! In fact, I'll say who it is in the form of a JOKE! "What has two wings, four legs, a bill and barks?" "Duh...I don't know..." "Well, have ya EVER played the best ever light gun game, released for the Nintendo Entertainment System?! I'm not even gonna TELL ya who it is, you uncultured so-and-so!" Now, THAT'S comedy! Mad

Oh, and anyone who says I can't just revive an old forum thread after all this time? WHY NOT?! There's no rule that SAYS an old ape who's haunted by the ghost of his one true love can't bring a forum thread back from the brink of...of...whatever you call it on the inter-technical doodad! Now if you'll EXCUSE me, it's time to put my Balloon Fighting skills to the test against that ghost-catching professor. Ah, Balloon Fight...now THAT'S a quality fighting game! Mad

____________________________
Chromaicora - The new home of Zed and pals!

***
The pilot of Power Rangers Mushroom Force is currently being "filmed" on location in One-One Plains, but there's still time to claim - or reclaim - a spot in the series.

Anyone who wishes to reprise their roles should let me know as a response to any post I make. Anyone who wants an unclaimed role should do the same. And remember, the more you chat about the show, the more motivated I am to pump out new stories every week!  Wink

CLICK HERE to sign up for a role, chat about your favourite episodes and characters, or simply find out more about the series.

"Mushroom Force, Let's-a GO!" victory
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